I'm a straight up loser when it comes to LotR: read the books half dozen times, have self annotated copies of the Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales, a coffee table book of Tolkien drawings/drafts/letters, a tattoo, and I watch the movies once every year or two since 2001. All that to say, I'll die on the hill that the theatrical versions are better, though I'm aware in in the minority.The extended DVDs are so worth the time spent watching them.
I like watching the EC every now and then but feel like they interrupt otherwise wonderfully paced movies, or muddy things that are well sorted in the the theatricals. Not that I'm here to gatekeep fandom, if the extendeds are your jam, rock on. I just come off as defensive because I'm always attacked by angry nerds who think I "just don't get it"