Nobody ever loses in these ads. Everybody’s happy, surrounded by young, attractive friends, making cash without actually working.
www.bostonglobe.com
Please make it stop. I can’t take it anymore.
I want to take a chain saw to my big flat-screen every time I see another ad for sports betting.
Which is … every commercial break … of every game.
We get it, DraftKings. You too, FanDuel. Ditto BetMGM.
You keep telling us how easy it is to … make … it … rain.
It is implied to be free money, right? We can’t lose, right? We are smarter than the average fan, so if we just go with our instincts, we can make a bundle just sitting on our couch.
Or, more likely, we’ll end up being one of a million suckers who’ll regret ever placing that first “legal” bet.
Seriously.
Why not just attach a hose to your bank account and turn on the giant sucking machine?
Nobody ever loses in the pathetic bro-culture commercials. Everybody’s happy, surrounded by young, attractive friends, soaking up some suds and making cash without actually working. They hug. They high-five. They do cartwheels in the man cave.
Oh, and remember this, fanboys: If you purchase anything remotely, or just open your phone, there are enticing ads to “bet $5, get $200 in free bets instantly.” The Caesars Sportsbook App offers $1,500 in deposit matching credits. Others offer up to $1,000 in “risk free” bets.
It’s all legal and they are coming after you and your wallet.
It’s recruitment. Some might call it grooming. They draw you in and then you can’t get out. They can even hire academic “experts” who’ll tell us that there’s no problem here.
I wonder when we start hearing the sad stories of fanboy bros who lose a bet or two watching TV while downing brewskis, then empty their bank accounts trying to catch up.
I especially loathe the TV ad with my pal Lenny Clarke walking past Zdeno Chara and Bruins anthem singer Todd Angilly, strolling outside the Garden alongside Brian Scalabrine and Aly Raisman, then having a little quick convo with “Everywhere, Everything” anything-for-a-dollar David Ortiz. I mean, how many local heroes can we puncture in one 30-second commercial?
Swell.
Meanwhile, here in the sports media world, local TV, radio, and sports websites, including BostonGlobe.com and Boston.com
, are poisoned with the stuff. The once-respectable NESN, now absent any substantive local programming other than Bruins and Red Sox games, has become a 24/7 go-to for sports bettors.
Monday morning on NESN, I stumbled into a hideous show called “Follow the Money” (not to be confused with NESN’s “Ultimate Betting Show”) and listened to two guys agonizing over the final seconds of every NCAA game from the weekend. While discussing strange happenings at the end of tourney games already won or lost, the gambling experts chastised network announcers for not calling attention to how final-minute random plays affected point spreads and betting lines.
Meanwhile, the crawl below highlighted “prop analyzers tracking past player performances … fresh betting splits sourced in real time … exclusive betting tools with the best data … bonus money by playing the squares” and urged me to buy a subscription to VSiN (Vegas Stats and Information Network).
I needed a shower after a half-hour of this garbage.