NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE TWENTY-THREE SKIDOO!

[Captain Dave Poulin]

This is that other category I was talking about when I said there was some wiggle room. I'm not taking anything away from @Young Sandwich - he still gets all of these. I'm just taking this one item.

Team Dessert - Key Lime Cheesecake

@BernieParent

 

[Beef Invictus]

Team spite: Paul Holmgren. His trades of Richards and Carter, though they worked out, were a direct result of the holier than thou, entitled bullies attitude. How dare Richards and Carter have fun!? When the dry island nonsense broke, it was clearly a message that all players need to follow the culture and be a Flyer, as is determined by the "foundational titans", of course. To boot, it's all hypocritical anyway, because they all drank too when they played half a century ago. He continues to melt this franchise from the inside out with his buddies. Into the cell with you.

@Captain Dave Poulin you're up

He was also in on the tremendous attitude shift that saw them completely abandon offense as a Valued Thing in place of an obsession with the simplest and dumbest ideas of what effective defense is. We still suffer.

 

[Lord Defect]

I’m slightly annoyed that you’re not irate over my spite choice cap. How dare you.

 

[Young Sandwich]

This is that other category I was talking about when I said there was some wiggle room. I'm not taking anything away from @Young Sandwich - he still gets all of these. I'm just taking this one item.

Team Dessert - Key Lime Cheesecake

@BernieParent

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I’m slightly annoyed that you’re not irate over my spite choice cap. How dare you.

I'm slightly annoyed every time you talk to me.

 

[ajgoal]

I'm slightly annoyed every time you talk.

 

[Lord Defect]

I'm slightly annoyed every time you talk to me.

Like

 

[BernieParent]

"Continuing with our spite line-up, the Tampa Bay FireSticks are in no way pleased to select Steve Downie.

"Before being selected in the 1st round of the 2005 draft by the (sigh) Flyers, Downie had already built up a tarnished reputation. He was allegedly one of the principal instigators of mean-spirited, dehumanizing hazing practices as a member of the Windsor Spitfires, where he particularly targeted Akim Aliu. When Mr. Aliu refused to strip naked on the team bus, Mr. Downie broke several of his teeth with a hockey stick. The two fought at a Spitfires practice, for which Mr. Downie was suspended for 5 games by the OHL and subsequently demanded a trade out of Windsor.

"As a member of the Flyers, Mr. Downie wasted little time in demonstrating his disregard for the safety of others. In a 2007 exhibition game, he blindsided Senators' centre Dean McAmmond. Mr. McAmmond was taken from the ice on a stretcher.



"Two years later, Mr. Downie added to his suspension history with another 20-game ruling as a member of the Norfolk Admirals for slashing an official. Although there are conflicting reports of Mr. Downie's intent and whether he missed the stick of a linesman, it is obvious his reputation did him no favours. He managed to play 462 NHL games, amassing 213 points and 1111 penalty minutes. All success that Team Canada enjoyed with him in the uniform will always be tainted in our eyes."

Over to you, @BigToe!

 

[BigToe]

Spite D - Mark Borowiecki

His face bothers me

@JojoTheWhale

 

[Lord Defect]

I'm slightly annoyed every time you talk to me.

This?

 

[Asnito]

This?

Everytime you tag him he kills a chicken, so for cucks sake no mas

 

[ajgoal]

If you ignore him, he'll...

No he won't.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

This is a rare Daily Double opportunity. Here's the f***face father getting deked out of existence by Andrej Sekera of all people:

Here's the f***face son showing you cheapshots are genetic.

Spite Fs: Todd and Tyler Bertuzzi

@BigToe If they have a dog, f*** him/her too. Oh dear. The Provorov thread has broken containment.

 

[ajgoal]

@BigToe If they have a dog, f*** him/her too. Oh dear. The Provorov thread has broken containment.

Is that thing still going?

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Is that thing still going?

Hell if I know. I'm just here to bestiality shitpost apparently.

 

[ajgoal]

Hell if I know. I'm just here to bestiality shitpost apparently.

You do you.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I think this is the first time bestiality has made an appearance in the Quackverse. Welcome back, #MaximumChaos.

We start the day with @BigToe on the clock, @BernieParent on deck, me on the lido deck, and @DancingPanther on the lido afterdeck.

Man, I am so f***ing happy right now. Last game of the season tonight. This season that saw us add that fatass Kiefer f***ing Bellows

... and that c*** Claude Lemieux's c*** son to the team we ostensibly "root for." A team that already had Kevin f***ing Hayes and a giant, grotesque f***ing tomato. A season in which we needed to chronically lose, but Travis f***ing Konecny wouldn't stop scoring. A season in which we played like utter dogshit, but Carter f***ing Hart refused to suck badly enough. Even Scott f***ing Laughton turned it up at times, while still being the most useless piece on a team going nowhere. Unless that is James van f***ing Riemsdyk, who inexplicably wasn't moved at the deadline, except for the explication that we were subject to SABOTAGE. We had a racist and a homophobe. We had everything.

Anyway, a trash year in sports is about to end, and we will have subtractions. One way or another, at least they all won't still be here. F*** them all. Cut them all.

 

[BigToe]

Spite F - Milan Lucic

@BernieParent

 

[BernieParent]

Work + phone = no write-up

Spite forward: Esa Tikkanen

@Captain Dave Poulin

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Great minds think alike, eh @BernieParent?

Team Spite Player - Paul Coffey

@DancingPanther

 

[BernieParent]

Great minds think alike, eh @BernieParent?

Team Spite Player - Paul Coffey

@DancingPanther

And you and I seldom differ, my friend.

 

[DancingPanther]

Ok here we go

 

[DancingPanther]

Team spite pick: Bill Barber

Another in a short line of boisterous egos from the cup teams half a century ago! This joker scored a point per game in only 5 of his NHL seasons despite being a coattail riding passenger bullying unathletic opponents on a line with another athletic human, and somehow he's in the Hall of Fame! Imagine scoring more than 40 goals only 4 times in a decade playing in the 1970s and being called the best sniper in franchise history. Plus he looks like an idiot too with his f***ing stupid f***ing hairline hardly making it past his ears.

In the box with the rest of your shitty advisor friends. Bye.

@Hollywood Cannon

 

[Asnito]

Work + phone = no write-up

Spite forward: Esa Tikkanen

@Captain Dave Poulin

Was hoping he would last

 

[BernieParent]

Was hoping he would last