NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE TWENTY-THREE SKIDOO!
- Thread starter Captain Dave Poulin
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mja
Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt
Let's fly to Seattle and the Sockeyes today to catch up with @CanadianFlyer88. If there's one thing I've learned about Canadians, it's that they're not quite like us. You could say they're odd ducks, or maybe...weird fishes?
mja
Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt
Let's get defective in St. Paul with the Stay Pufts and @Lord Defect. I feel like we need more than one song to really capture his defective essence:
This was my jam.
Also:
And finally...
This was my jam.
Also:
And finally...
Excellent choices one and all. And here's another.
Lord Defect
Secretary of Blowtorching
- Nov 13, 2013
- 18,851
- 34,911
As you all know, @BernieParent has changed his locale and team name frim Tampa Bay Firesticks to what in my opinion is something much more appropriate for such a Canadian gentleman - the Halifax Galleons.
"Halifax" is just a very kick-ass name for something, and Bernard deserves a kick-assed named franchise. The "Galleons" of the latter half is appropriate as well, as Halifax is so intimately associated with the ocean.
But you may be asking yourself "Why have we never heard much about Canadian explorers during the Age of Discovery?" We all know of Champlain and Cartier, but who were the dauntless heroes native to the land who fearlessly set out to map the maple expanse?
The answer can be found in the territorial flag of the city of Halifax.
As you can see, galleons were an ever-present from the time of the city's European settlement in 1749. Lumber was certainly not in short supply, despite the lack of sawmills. The preponderance of beavers and beaver labor meant that the wood needed for ships was abundant.
But the first Canadians lacked ships blueprints, so they worked on a system of trial and error, led by the city's first mayor and sailing enthusiast Terry Scott-McGilvary, the scion of what would become Atlantic Canada's first family. There was far more error than trial in his endeavors. The lack of accurate maps meant that the Scott-McGilvary Ltd. ships went down mostly creeks and shallow rivers and ended up beached in sandy culs-de-sac. Labor trouble with the beavers led to most of the stranded ships being taken apart for dams. It was the origin of the famous Canadian excuse for anything that goes wrong - "It must have been the dammed beavers, eh."
Closer inspection of the flag reveals, at its center, what appears to be a blue bird wearing a dunce cap. Scholars have determined that this is the infamous Canadian goof. A distant cousin of the Canadian goose, the goof is thought by biologists to have come from a more brightly colored variant of its more famous relative. So how did the goof shrink to such smaller dimensions in less than 300 years?
The goofs were found to have the worst sense of direction in the aviary kingdom. Theories abound for why this might be the case, with the prevailing wisdom (after thousands of bird autopsies) that in exchange for it's brilliant plumage, the goof's brain was shrunk from the size of a peanut to the size of a shelled sunflower seed.
When released into the wild, the goof would alight on the nearest low branch. Rather than navigate its way through the foliage into open air, the goof would fly straight up like a hover craft and more often than not wedge itself into the crook at the confluence of two or more branches. There it would sit, stuck, until it lost enough weight to slide free and fall to the ground. Recovering from the concussions that resulted from the bonk on its head during the drop took several days, and many goofs were lost, grounded and stunned, to hungry cats.
Those who survived sometimes managed to fly free, and the Canadian ships which remained on water - smaller now, more like miniature galleons manned by two or three hardy souls - made the mistake of following them. The sailors who maintained delusions of exploration grandeur were, to a man, drunk as skunks during every waking hour, and when they caught a rare sighting of the goofs, they assumed that it was a sign. These were God's blue geese, they thought, and they immediately set out in pursuit. When the birds they tracked inevitably crashed into a tree, the hapless sailors drifted until their tiny craft ran out of river. They'd set out across land to return home, but most of them either died of exposure or became the smelly volunteers who fought on one side or the other of the French and Indian War. Ever since, wary Canadians have limited their shipbuilding to ships in a bottle, figuring that very little can go wrong if their boat never leaves its berth.
Scott-McGilvary commissioned the city's flag to honor these idiot birds, the Wrong Way Feldmans of the Great North.
"Halifax" is just a very kick-ass name for something, and Bernard deserves a kick-assed named franchise. The "Galleons" of the latter half is appropriate as well, as Halifax is so intimately associated with the ocean.
But you may be asking yourself "Why have we never heard much about Canadian explorers during the Age of Discovery?" We all know of Champlain and Cartier, but who were the dauntless heroes native to the land who fearlessly set out to map the maple expanse?
The answer can be found in the territorial flag of the city of Halifax.
As you can see, galleons were an ever-present from the time of the city's European settlement in 1749. Lumber was certainly not in short supply, despite the lack of sawmills. The preponderance of beavers and beaver labor meant that the wood needed for ships was abundant.
But the first Canadians lacked ships blueprints, so they worked on a system of trial and error, led by the city's first mayor and sailing enthusiast Terry Scott-McGilvary, the scion of what would become Atlantic Canada's first family. There was far more error than trial in his endeavors. The lack of accurate maps meant that the Scott-McGilvary Ltd. ships went down mostly creeks and shallow rivers and ended up beached in sandy culs-de-sac. Labor trouble with the beavers led to most of the stranded ships being taken apart for dams. It was the origin of the famous Canadian excuse for anything that goes wrong - "It must have been the dammed beavers, eh."
Closer inspection of the flag reveals, at its center, what appears to be a blue bird wearing a dunce cap. Scholars have determined that this is the infamous Canadian goof. A distant cousin of the Canadian goose, the goof is thought by biologists to have come from a more brightly colored variant of its more famous relative. So how did the goof shrink to such smaller dimensions in less than 300 years?
The goofs were found to have the worst sense of direction in the aviary kingdom. Theories abound for why this might be the case, with the prevailing wisdom (after thousands of bird autopsies) that in exchange for it's brilliant plumage, the goof's brain was shrunk from the size of a peanut to the size of a shelled sunflower seed.
When released into the wild, the goof would alight on the nearest low branch. Rather than navigate its way through the foliage into open air, the goof would fly straight up like a hover craft and more often than not wedge itself into the crook at the confluence of two or more branches. There it would sit, stuck, until it lost enough weight to slide free and fall to the ground. Recovering from the concussions that resulted from the bonk on its head during the drop took several days, and many goofs were lost, grounded and stunned, to hungry cats.
Those who survived sometimes managed to fly free, and the Canadian ships which remained on water - smaller now, more like miniature galleons manned by two or three hardy souls - made the mistake of following them. The sailors who maintained delusions of exploration grandeur were, to a man, drunk as skunks during every waking hour, and when they caught a rare sighting of the goofs, they assumed that it was a sign. These were God's blue geese, they thought, and they immediately set out in pursuit. When the birds they tracked inevitably crashed into a tree, the hapless sailors drifted until their tiny craft ran out of river. They'd set out across land to return home, but most of them either died of exposure or became the smelly volunteers who fought on one side or the other of the French and Indian War. Ever since, wary Canadians have limited their shipbuilding to ships in a bottle, figuring that very little can go wrong if their boat never leaves its berth.
Scott-McGilvary commissioned the city's flag to honor these idiot birds, the Wrong Way Feldmans of the Great North.
BernieParent
In misery of redwings of suckage for a long time
THANK YOU, O creative genius @Captain Dave Poulin, for not just this beautiful new gear but a long-storied history of alcohol-fueled misadventure and failure. 
We will be very proud to wear these colours for the upcoming ... I mean whenever the migration to the QuackVerse happens and some form of sporting tournament begins there.
Random thoughts:
- These drafts have been going on long enough for me to say, "We have Landeskog on our team? Huh. Nice."
- It is very impressive that you not only nailed "cul-de-sac" but its plural.
- How terribly ironic that my franchise leaves behind the branding of fire to move to an area that is literally on fire.
Well done, my friend. Well done.
We will be very proud to wear these colours for the upcoming ... I mean whenever the migration to the QuackVerse happens and some form of sporting tournament begins there.Random thoughts:
- These drafts have been going on long enough for me to say, "We have Landeskog on our team? Huh. Nice."
- It is very impressive that you not only nailed "cul-de-sac" but its plural.
- How terribly ironic that my franchise leaves behind the branding of fire to move to an area that is literally on fire.
Well done, my friend. Well done.
ajgoal
Almost always never serious
- Jun 29, 2015
- 9,888
- 28,656
TIL that Halifax had galleons of seamen back in the day.
BernieParent
In misery of redwings of suckage for a long time
Keep your powder dry for now - I'm working on this today.
mja
Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt
Let's wrap this up in Vancouver with the Beavers and that Beatles-loving fine fellow, @Strawberry Fields. This one is off of the first album I ever owned on CD, and that means it's almost certainly the first Beatles-penned tune I ever owned, unless you were to count Live and Let Die, which I don't.
Hollywood Cannon
I'm Away From My Desk
The Las Vegas Desert Ducks have decided to move their Minor League Affiliate to Fort Lauderdale.
That's our re-draft pick.
And....
SCENE.
That's our re-draft pick.
And....
SCENE.
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