Some people think she is hot. Not me. I thinks she's gross.
She's obviously not "gross," per se, but I can't separate my eyeballs from my earballs when the latter are being assaulted. I could look past a lady's dopey, unfunny political stance or bad behavior and just engage my libido and simp for someone who is more or less "hot"-ish and stupid, but I can't ignore country music. Country music makes my earballs bleed and blinds my eyes.
Listen to this shit.
And stop telling Jesus to drive yer truck - He has more important things to do. Dipshit.
I wasn't watching "American Idol" yet when she was on there, so I wasn't afflicted by that, thank f*** almighty. I wouldn't even care about her specifically - she would just blend into the whole cauldron of brainless puke which is that genre - if it weren't for her weekly war crimes.
For the entire autumn every year for the past ... I don't know how many years, but it feels like 400 ... she has come on the NFL pregame for Sunday Night Football and just shat into a microphone. You can't see her ass shitting into it on-screen, but you can clearly hear the sound of a human ass shitting to the cadence of a bastardized version of Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself for Loving You." And not just shitting human shit, but shitting human shit in the form of words which sound like they were cobbled together from an eight-year-old mental patient's Mad Libs. Just shameless infantile brain vomit and literal butt shit. It's country shit and human shit and stupid shit and it drives me f***ing crazy. How can anyone think this is something that should be broadcast to millions of people, or even one person, in the Year of our Truck-Driving Lord 2022? F***'s sake. And not for nothing, but if it were possible to build a 50-foot tall statue of Chris Collinsworth made out of human shit and "music," this would be it.
Now, because Robbbb Thomas was off the board, I have to rearrange the roles these turds play in Sandakanto. You'll remember, of course, that in addition to being the band flutist, Lizzo's fat ass will serve as the band's percussion section, the largest in the world. In addition to writing lyrics and yodeling, Carrie Underwood will be responsible for playing Lizzo's fat bare ass with her bare hands. She is going to be shat on and farted on every second of every show and every rehearsal. That seems like appropriate and proportionate punishment for what she has done to me and to the whole concept of human hearing.
Team Member (literally) - Carrie F***ing Underwood - Yodeling, Gibberish, Percussion, F*** Yourself
@ajgoal