NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

[Young Sandwich]

@ajgoal hates sharp provolone because his taste buds are defective. So naturally, as rivals, the FOG choose AURICCHIO, the manufacturer of the best sharp provolone on the planet, as his owner.

His arena will reek and I cant wait to visit it and bask in the stench.

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You shit-hammered bud? "Sharp provolone is bullshit" was my hill to die on, not @ajgoal . He's on your side in this fight.

 

[ajgoal]

@ajgoal hates sharp provolone

Sharp provolone is great. I don't know what you're talking about.

 

[Rebels57]

Sharp provolone is great. I don't know what you're talking about.

I had you mixed up with @Young Sandwich. My brain is so f***ing broken today. You have no idea. You get to keep Auricchio as an owner. f*** it lol

 

[Lord Defect]

I can never remember which place we grab lunch from but their hoagies by default come with sharp provolone AND mini olive chunks. God awful. Olives have no reason to exist.

 

[BiggE]

I can never remember which place we grab lunch from but their hoagies by default come with sharp provolone AND mini olive chunks. God awful. Olives have no reason to exist.

I like olives, in martinis, and perhaps in salads. In a hoagie??

 

[BernieParent]

"The Tampa Bay FireSticks have a strange kind of fondness for our cross-state rival, @BiggE, and his franchise the Methgators. Who can't have something approaching appreciation for someone who chooses a pharmacologically stupefied dinosaur descendant as his mascot? It has taken us much time to identify a single individual who embodies his ... err, talents. We think we finally have succeeded. After much Googling of terms such as "wrestling" (duhh) "getting high" (double-duh) and "music", we have arrived at [dramatic pause] Manager Cletus.

"Cletus Delroy Montfort Bigglesworth Spuckler, aka the Slack-Jawed Yokel, is of course the beloved (???) embodiment of rednecks in the Simpsons' universe. He is not among the most intellectually gifted individuals:



"But he does play guitar

"He is adept at creating illegal substances

"And, thanks to the never-ending desire to soak Simpsons fans for every last cent with merchandise, Mr. Spuckler can now live his dream as a rasslin' manager.

"We truly think that we have hit all of the high (so to speak) notes in this depiction of our esteemed rival owner."

And now a word from our @CanadianFlyer88.

 

[BiggE]

"The Tampa Bay FireSticks have a strange kind of fondness for our cross-state rival, @BiggE, and his franchise the Methgators. Who can't have something approaching appreciation for someone who chooses a pharmacologically stupefied dinosaur descendant as his mascot? It has taken us much time to identify a single individual who embodies his ... err, talents. We think we finally have succeeded. After much Googling of terms such as "wrestling" (duhh) "getting high" (double-duh) and "music", we have arrived at [dramatic pause] Manager Cletus.

"Cletus Delroy Montfort Bigglesworth Spuckler, aka the Slack-Jawed Yokel, is of course the beloved (???) embodiment of rednecks in the Simpsons' universe. He is not among the most intellectually gifted individuals:



"But he does play guitar

"He is adept at creating illegal substances

"And, thanks to the never-ending desire to soak Simpsons fans for every last cent with merchandise, Mr. Spuckler can now live his dream as a rasslin' manager.

"We truly think that we have hit all of the high (so to speak) notes in this depiction of our esteemed rival owner."

And now a word from our @CanadianFlyer88.

I love it, he’ll fit right in. Any thoughts Vince?

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

This was going to be my first selection of this phase, but the spite band had too much pull. For the fictional owner of the Vancouver Beavers (@Strawberry Fields), the Seattle Sockeyes are thrilled to select Youngman Grand.

I see your collective reactions:

Spoiler

Youngman Grand was a character added to the film adaptation of "The Magic Christian" in which the world's richest man, Sir Guy Grand, chooses a homeless man, Youngman Grand, as his heir.

The plot of the movie is ridiculous; the Grands use their vast wealth to prove that everyone has a price. Their antics include having a Shakespearean actor strip naked during his Hamlet monologue, bribing the Oxford rowing captain to win a race vs Cambridge by crashing into their boat, and even concludes with them filling a giant vat with grossness along with thousands of pound notes in an effort to watch people do anything for money.

This kind of frivolousness embodies what it means to be an owner of a professional sports franchise in the city of Vancouver. Teams are playthings for owners here because, as we all know, it's certainly not about winning championships.

Was there any other reason to choose this seemingly random character? Of course there was. Youngman Grand is portrayed by one, Ringo Starr.

@JojoTheWhale, what is your price? (I think you're up because @Striiker stopped his spite band at 3)

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

This was going to be my first selection of this phase, but the spite band had too much pull. For the fictional owner of the Vancouver Beavers (@Strawberry Fields), the Seattle Sockeyes are thrilled to select Youngman Grand.

I see your collective reactions:

Spoiler

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Youngman Grand was a character added to the film adaptation of "The Magic Christian" in which the world's richest man, Sir Guy Grand, chooses a homeless man, Youngman Grand, as his heir.

The plot of the movie is ridiculous, in that the Grands use their vast wealth to prove that everyone has a price. Their antics include having a Shakespearean actor strip naked during his Hamlet monologue, bribing the Oxford rowing captain to win a race vs Cambridge by crashing into their boat, and even concludes with them filling a giant vat with grossness along with thousands of pound notes in an effort to watch people do anything for money.

This kind of frivolousness embodies what it means to be an owner of a professional sports franchise in the city of Vancouver. Teams are playthings for owners here because, as we all know, it's certainly not about winning championships.

Was there any other reason to choose this seemingly random character? Of course there is. Youngman Grand is portrayed by one, Ringo Starr.

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@JojoTheWhale, what is your price? (I think you're up because @Striiker stopped his spite band at 3)

I wonder if "Trading Places" was based on that.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

I wonder if "Trading Places" was based on that.

Somewhat similar premise, but go in wildly different directions.

I just looked up the Wiki for Trading Places and it doesn't seem like the book (Magic Christian) was an inspiration. Trading Places appears to have been loosely based on a real sibling rivalry that the writer turned into a screenplay. The real life brothers were notoriously frugal, completely opposite to the Grands.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@Rebels57 I just saw/heard a commercial for J-Lo's new movie, "Marry Me." She is still just straight up stealing money from idiots.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I’ll get to the writeups tomorrow, but rather than hold things up:

Spite Vocalist: Gwyneth Paltrow

Pseudoscience peddling and this is a tough combination to top.



@Strawberry Fields

 

[Lord Defect]

I’ll get to the writeups tomorrow, but rather than hold things up:

Spite Vocalist: Gwyneth Paltrow

Pseudoscience peddling and this is a tough combination to top.



@Strawberry Fields

She sells vag scented candles.
I was really hoping an ex waould come forward and call bs.

 

[Rebels57]

@Rebels57 I just saw/heard a commercial for J-Lo's new movie, "Marry Me." She is still just straight up stealing money from idiots.

The Fog owner has a lot in common with the Flyers owner.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I’ll get to the writeups tomorrow, but rather than hold things up:

Spite Vocalist: Gwyneth Paltrow

Pseudoscience peddling and this is a tough combination to top.



@Strawberry Fields

Proof that literally anyone can shit into a microphone and call it "country music."

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@Striiker did you give me your Spite Supergroup's name?

 

[BernieParent]

@Striiker did you give me your Spite Supergroup's name?

Spiite

 

[DancingPanther]

I’ll get to the writeups tomorrow, but rather than hold things up:

Spite Vocalist: Gwyneth Paltrow

Pseudoscience peddling and this is a tough combination to top.



@Strawberry Fields

Didn't realize she did music things.

 

[DancingPanther]

I'm wrapping up my spite band. I'm calling them Pricksolydian

I'm hilarious. Music puns.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I ate chicken again last night. Now the guilt is eating me. Isn't it analogous? Don't you think?

We start the day with @Strawberry Fields on the clock. Unless I'm mistaken, he sealed his Spite Supergroup, so he only has a babe to select to finish off this phase. He also needs to give me the name of his Spite Supergroup. @Lord Defect is on deck. Oi. FML. He needs to pick a lawyer and a hill to die on, and the latter is something I have been dreading since this phase started. He's going to f*** it up - it's just a matter of waiting to see how. @Young Sandwich is on the lido deck with a babe and a lawyer to select, as well as a character to represent yours truly. I have been dreading that, too, but I know he can happily surprise me if he so chooses. Florida Man is on the lido afterdeck after that, and he will be picking his crushing sports moment. Remembering the moment he chooses is going to suck - not because he picked it, but because it's a crushing sports moment, and I am pretty sure it involves the Flyers, about whom everything sucks. We can't even enjoy their past titles because the people responsible for them are now making sure we never win again. Earth Prime, amirite?

We are supposed to get a punishing winter storm starting this afternoon or tonight and lasting until Thursday, but it might and probably will just Sanhero out and piss rain instead. The past year has been dry as balls, so at least there will be some precipitation. Having said that in a way that makes me sound reasonable and emotionally balanced, I am going to be inconsolable and bitch non-stop if we don't get snow.

Speaking of bitch, my f***ing download of "Justified" Season 4 lacks the first episode. So you just go out and get that episode, right? Right, unless that bitch isn't available on its own. You should have seen how hard I Oprahed the f***ing computer screen when I found out all of that yesterday. I'm surprised this lappy is still functioning. Maybe I should shoot a puck at its face.

 

[BiggE]

I ate chicken again last night. Now the guilt is eating me. Isn't it analogous? Don't you think?

We start the day with @Strawberry Fields on the clock. Unless I'm mistaken, he sealed his Spite Supergroup, so he only has a babe to select to finish off this phase. He also needs to give me the name of his Spite Supergroup. @Lord Defect is on deck. Oi. FML. He needs to pick a lawyer and a hill to die on, and the latter is something I have been dreading since this phase started. He's going to f*** it up - it's just a matter of waiting to see how. @Young Sandwich is on the lido deck with a babe and a lawyer to select, as well as a character to represent yours truly. I have been dreading that, too, but I know he can happily surprise me if he so chooses. Florida Man is on the lido afterdeck after that, and he will be picking his crushing sports moment. Remembering the moment he chooses is going to suck - not because he picked it, but because it's a crushing sports moment, and I am pretty sure it involves the Flyers, about whom everything sucks. We can't even enjoy their past titles because the people responsible for them are now making sure we never win again. Earth Prime, amirite?

We are supposed to get a punishing winter storm starting this afternoon or tonight and lasting until Thursday, but it might and probably will just Sanhero out and piss rain instead. The past year has been dry as balls, so at least there will be some precipitation. Having said that in a way that makes me sound reasonable and emotionally balanced, I am going to be inconsolable and bitch non-stop if we don't get snow.

Speaking of bitch, my f***ing download of "Justified" Season 4 lacks the first episode. So you just go out and get that episode, right? Right, unless that bitch isn't available on its own. You should have seen how hard I Oprahed the f***ing computer screen when I found out all of that yesterday. I'm surprised this lappy is still functioning. Maybe I should shoot a puck at its face.

Unless you are trying to get your laptop a lifetime job with the Flyers, I’d suggest not hitting it in the face with a puck.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Unless you are trying to get your laptop a lifetime job with the Flyers, I’d suggest not hitting it in the face with a puck.

I have a zero-dollar budget to replace it, so that's the idea.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I have a zero-dollar budget to replace it, so that's the idea.

Well this needs to change, people need to hit up your Venmo ASAP.

 

[BiggE]

Well this needs to change, people need to hit up your Venmo ASAP.

I can take it out of @Striiker ’s allowance. But honestly, the bill should go to @Lord Defect , I’m pretty sure he’s the reason Cap smashed it in the first place.

 

[DancingPanther]

Wait, Billie Eilish is in a spite group? Smh