NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

[Hollywood Cannon]

@Hollywood Couturier you can pick again when ready.

@Chuck Downie you can plant both picks when you are ready, too.

Aiiight. Starting the process of putting your nephew to sleep so probably sometime after that.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Aiiight. Starting the process of putting your nephew to sleep so probably sometime after that.

Remind him that the sooner he goes to sleep, the closer he will be to Ozzy Wiesblatt's NHL career.

 

[BiggE]

Not true. I'm a big fan of accountability so long as it doesn't fall on me.

I’ve tried to teach you the truly important things in life:

1. no body, no crime

2. he who smelt it, dealt it

3. sports are stupid

Learn these lessons well

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Alright.

Pick is in.

The Las Vegas Desert Ducks will add to our Spite Group a man that quite possibly could be responsible for ruining an entire generation. If not outright ruining them at least making them insufferable. I’m speaking about a man named Zhang Yiming.

Google tells me that this guy is responsible for creating TikTok. He must pay for his crimes against humanity.

@Magua wow us with your greatness but first do a dance in honor of Mr. Yiming.

 

[BiggE]

Alright.

Pick is in.

The Las Vegas Desert Ducks will add to our Spite Group a man that quite possibly could be responsible for ruining an entire generation. If not outright ruining them at least making them insufferable. I’m speaking about a man named Zhang Yiming.

Google tells me that this guy is responsible for creating TikTok. He must pay for his crimes against humanity.

@Magua wow us with your greatness but first do a dance in honor of Mr. Yiming.

I will have Yoko sing into his ear, before I murder them both that is

 

[DancingPanther]

Spite: Big Sean

He's always ruining great songs, especially Logic. I mean....

"She doing tricks with the p***y, guess she's a vagician"

Say no more. No really big Sean, say no more. Shut the f*** up bro

 

[Magua]

I was originally going to make a meta jokey post for our Team Actor Swap, but yesterday I had a eureka moment for a movie of great importance.....

The Honolulu Ghibli give a simultaneous warm embrace to CHRISTIAN BALE and a kick out the door to EDWARD FURLONG for the role of JOHN CONNOR in Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

"I now know why you cry, but not recasting you is something I can never do."

I'm on record as saying T2 is the greatest action film of all time. If it's only 99.99% perfect, it's because of one Edward Furlong. Is he the woooooorst? Probably not. He looks the part. But his squeaky voice and more petulant than cool demeanor, along with inability to pull off some lines, sticks with me each watch. It's hard to buy him having the gravitas and badass-ery of the future leader of mankind. And I know what you're going to say: "Didn't Christian Bale play John Connor in Terminator: Shitvation"? Yes, yes he did. But in a series about time travel and retconning, I got this, fam.

Furlong was 13 years old when it was filmed. Christian Bale was a contemporary child actor, with credits like Empire of the Sun, Henry V, and Treasure Island to his name. It's legitimately possible he could've been cast. He would've been 16, but just make the character a hair older. Bale had the looks and the chops. Here he is in 1990 and 1991. Tell me you can't see him tearing up the streets of L.A. on his dirt bike, dodging a liquid metal bitch.

@ajgoal -- I'll be back

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Alright.

Pick is in.

The Las Vegas Desert Ducks will add to our Spite Group a man that quite possibly could be responsible for ruining an entire generation. If not outright ruining them at least making them insufferable. I’m speaking about a man named Zhang Yiming.

Google tells me that this guy is responsible for creating TikTok. He must pay for his crimes against humanity.

@Magua wow us with your greatness but first do a dance in honor of Mr. Yiming.

I picked Zhang Yimou in the directors draft, so great pick. I just have one question - what category is this for?

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I picked Zhang Yimou in the directors draft, so great pick. I just have one question - what category is this for?

He’s in my spite group. Tik tok is based off of music so to me he’s in music. He can play the Xylophone or direct our music videos b

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

He’s in my spite group. Tik tok is based off of music so to me he’s in music. He can play the Xylophone or direct our music videos b

Yosh, or he could just be a vocalist singing in Mandarin.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Yosh, or he could just be a vocalist singing in Mandarin.

I think we got vocals covered with Phil, Kurt, and Marilyn.

 

[Lord Defect]

I’ve tried to teach you the truly important things in life:

1. no body, no crime

2. he who smelt it, dealt it

3. sports are stupid

Learn these lessons well

4. It’s not illegal if your not caught

 

[Chuck Downie]

Team Fictional Owner

Portland Fog @Rebels57 need a character that will fit in with their city known for hookers

Betty Boop

Betty Boop - Wikipedia

 

[Chuck Downie]

Team Hill To Die On

Gum can be swallowed

Bazooka Joe, written by Chuck Fletcher

 

[Lord Defect]

Team Hill To Die On

Gum can be swallowed

Bazooka Joe, written by Chuck Fletcher

What the hell is that tree sap looking one?

 

[Chuck Downie]

What the hell is that tree sap looking one?

It is literally tree sap. People chew it and even swallow it too without dying.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Someone brought up the band Loverboy the other day, and it reminded me of their hit single "Hot Squirrels in Love."

I wish they had sung it in Finnish, but you can't ask a New Wave Power Pop Rock Canadian band from Vancouver (via Calgary) to do anything. Just look how confused they are about their own genre, or at least how confused I am. I'll be honest, I'm very tired and my typing is going very, very poorly. I'm even having trouble figuring out who is up, so I'm stalling for time. I guess the point is that you can't trust anyone from British Columbia. The Mounties there take their mooses right into the water and fight crime from the saddle in the middle of lakes and rivers and whatnot. True story. I've always wondered if mooses eat syrup. I know that there is no such thing as "mooses," but I like the way it sounds.

OK, I think I've got it now. We start the day with @ajgoal on the clock. He has two holes to stuff, a babe, and a hill to die on to pick. I wonder if he'll pick "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place" as his hill to die on, even though that sounds like hills. I am up after him, and I hope my brain deterioration slows down enough to allow me to choose something. @DancingPanther is on the lido deck with nary an opening other than musician slots to plug. He has to pick at least one more, so he will pick that next. I'm not telling him what to do - I am just reporting on what has to be done. @GKJ is on the lido afterdeck with an actor swap and three shitbag slots available. If and when my drag alter ego Billie Eyelash releases an album, I will dedicate my first single, "Bad Guy/Girl," to him, because he is the Villains, only singular.

At some point after this hateful phase we are going to have to review our RIVALS and decide who they are again after I shuffled the deck for the Fictional Owner category. We also have to give me the Spite Supergroup names. There's no rush - I'd personally like to be less nutty when I am taking care of bureaucratic duties, innit.

 

[Rebels57]

Team Fictional Owner

Portland Fog @Rebels57 need a character that will fit in with their city known for hookers

Betty Boop

Betty Boop - Wikipedia

J-Lo is not going to like this level of competition

 

[ajgoal]

It's hot. It's sticky. You can't go outside without feeling gross. Seriously, the people who disagree with me on this are the worst kind of people imaginable.

Team hill to die on: Summer is the worst season

@Captain Dave Poulin

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

It's hot. It's sticky. You can't go outside without feeling gross. Seriously, the people who disagree with me on this are the worst kind of people imaginable.

Team hill to die on: Summer is the worst season

@Captain Dave Poulin

Great pick.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

J-Lo is not going to like this level of competition

View attachment 503076

I doubt Betty Big Ass will even notice.

 

[ajgoal]

Great pick.

Great post.

 

[ajgoal]

Also, we are filing a cease and desist order with @Surrounded By Ahos' team for copyright infringement.

 

[Rebels57]

It's hot. It's sticky. You can't go outside without feeling gross. Seriously, the people who disagree with me on this are the worst kind of people imaginable.

Team hill to die on: Summer is the worst season

@Captain Dave Poulin

You are the worst

 

[DancingPanther]

"Fall is the best season" people need a bedpan to catch all their drool. Team Hill to die on #3