NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

[Captain Dave Poulin]

He's part of @Striiker's "good" band.

I knew he was in there somewhere, but it's such an awesome spite pick. Sorry, @pit

 

[BiggE]

So does @pit need to replace his prior pick or am I up?

 

[mja]

I knew he was in there somewhere, but it's such an awesome spite pick. Sorry, @pit

I feel like suspending the no duplicates rule just this once would be justifiable, but I don't run the place.

 

[ajgoal]

I feel like suspending the no duplicates rule just this once would be justifiable, but I don't run the place.

 

[pit]

He's part of @Striiker's "good" band.

Wait. What? Is this a joke?

I am going into a meeting but I will find another soon.

 

[pit]

F*** it, who am I kidding? I don't need a minute. I have musical spite galore. Just no time for a write-up.

Yo Hootie (aka Darius Rucker), you're in. Go blow some fish.

@BiggE

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I feel like suspending the no duplicates rule just this once would be justifiable, but I don't run the place.

No. We can't run the risk of two of the same people being brought into the Quackverse. That could have massive ripple effects into the foundation of the whole universe and make it turn into what the world is now.

Do you guys even THINK?!

We're essentially murdering all of these spite picks by launching them into space. How will that work if someone wants them in their good band?

 

[mja]

F*** it, who am I kidding? I don't need a minute. I have musical spite galore. Just no time for a write-up.

Yo Hootie (aka Darius Rucker), you're in. Go blow some fish.

@BiggE

Also, can someone good with the giffing please make one of the Amélie scene where the teary-eyed old man crosses his friend's name off in his address book?

 

[BiggE]

The Macho Man, OOH YEAH!, is here to tell ya Jacksonville, YEAH!, that the new fictional owner, YEAH!, is GONNA SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM, OOOH YEAH!!!

JUST READ THE DAMN CARD, DAMMIT!!!

Ooh yeah brother, YEAH!, the fictional owner of our holier than even Brother Love Tampa rival

I LOOVVVEE YOUUUU!!!

is, from Monty Python’s Flying Circus, YEAH!, THE BISHOP!!

 

[BiggE]

@Young Sandwich , your presence is requested in the Quackverse, stat!

 

[Lord Defect]

No. We can't run the risk of two of the same people being brought into the Quackverse. That could have massive ripple effects into the foundation of the whole universe and make it turn into what the world is now.

Do you guys even THINK?!

We're essentially murdering all of these spite picks by launching them into space. How will that work if someone wants them in their good band?

Cough cough bill Murray cough cough

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Cough cough bill Murray cough cough

What about him?

 

[mja]

No. We can't run the risk of two of the same people being brought into the Quackverse. That could have massive ripple effects into the foundation of the whole universe and make it turn into what the world is now.

Do you guys even THINK?!

We're essentially murdering all of these spite picks by launching them into space. How will that work if someone wants them in their good band?

So, the Smashmouth guy is part of the Quackverse but Cobain is getting launched into space. I thought we were headed somewhere better than Earth Prime!

 

[ajgoal]

So, the Smashmouth guy is part of the Quackverse but Cobain is getting launched into space. I thought we were headed somewhere better than Earth Prime!

The Smashmouth guy is part of @Striiker's home in the Quackverse. We don't have to deal with him.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

So, the Smashmouth guy is part of the Quackverse but Cobain is getting launched into space. I thought we were headed somewhere better than Earth Prime!

You have no one to blame but yourselves. You could have protected him by having him in your Superband. Guess you didn't care enough.

 

[BernieParent]

View attachment 499689

The Macho Man, OOH YEAH!, is here to tell ya Jacksonville, YEAH!, that the new fictional owner, YEAH!, is GONNA SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM, OOOH YEAH!!!
View attachment 499690

JUST READ THE DAMN CARD, DAMMIT!!!

View attachment 499691
Ooh yeah brother, YEAH!, the fictional owner of our holier than even Brother Love Tampa rival
View attachment 499692
I LOOVVVEE YOUUUU!!!
View attachment 499694
is, from Monty Python’s Flying Circus, YEAH!, THE BISHOP!!
View attachment 499695

This mocking depiction is utterly RIDICULOUS and in NO WAY reflects us. We are ... ummm ... WAYY taller, and ... and very rarely carry our crook in public. And taller.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

F*** it, who am I kidding? I don't need a minute. I have musical spite galore. Just no time for a write-up.

Yo Hootie (aka Darius Rucker), you're in. Go blow some fish.

@BiggE

Holy f***, another great pick.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I'll tell you something, it's a good thing I thought of the idea of all of us ganging up on these f***ers, because if we only got to torture our own piles of shit, I'd be fatally jealous of not having Alanis Morissette and Darius f***ing Rucker. If @Hollywood Couturier hadn't at-ed me over and over, I would still to this day have no idea who Lizzo even is. Seriously.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I'll tell you something, it's a good thing I thought of the idea of all of us ganging up on these f***ers, because if we only got to torture our own piles of shit, I'd be fatally jealous of not having Alanis Morissette and Darius f***ing Rucker. If @Hollywood Couturier hadn't at-ed me over and over, I would still to this day have no idea who Lizzo even is. Seriously.

At this point do either of us even have an idea of who Lizzo is?

 

[Young Sandwich]

Though not primarily known as a musical artist, this walking sack of wet shit has dabbled enough to be considered an eligible pick. The extents of his assholery know no bounds. It seems like new evidence pops up every week to add to the endless pile of excrement this man produces. He (along with his STILL AVAILABLE brother) very well may be the premier asshole of the modern age. Just a gigantic piece of human shit that deserves every second of the beatings he will be forced to endure in our New World. Good riddance to this garbage person.

(Soon to be) Mutilated Member - Jake Paul (Vuvuzuela)

Do it @Lord Defect

 

[Chuck Downie]

I was strutting into this thread amazed that Chad Kroeger, one of my initial 4 picks, was still on the board and ready for the taking. Then @Chuck Downie did the unexpected and made an expected pick.

Back to the drawing board.

So aside from the sonic assault this jackhole has perpetrated, I have a personal story to go along with this one.

For a year before grad school, I worked as the Front of House Manager at the Trenton War Memorial Theater. Sometimes it was an orchestra, sometimes an opera, once Harry Belafonte and one time a local radio station decided they were going to put on a concert. It was 98 Degrees/Sixpence None The Richer/B*Witched and this band. It should tell you something about this pick that 98 Degrees was the lesser evil - dogs miles away were perking up their ears at the hypersonic shrieking coming out of the tween girls there.

So in addition to trashing their dressing rooms (because if you only have 15 minutes of fame as a rock star, you better act like one at a minor venue), the lead singer also tried to get my girlfriend who was working the event for me onto their tour bus after the show. F*** that guy.

He recently retired after this disastrous gig at a wine and beer festival, the last in a long string of failed performances.

Steve Harwell from Smash Mouth - you no talent hack that always wanted to be an all-star but never were, welcome to The Brown Notes c***face. Maybe they'll ask for an a capella cover for the next Shrek abomination. Probably not.



@BiggE , don't let somebody tell you the world is gonna roll you

We needed a clarinet player, he was the obvious choice.

 

[Lord Defect]

What about him?

There are two copies of him now

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

There are two copies of him now

Who?

 

[mja]

There are two copies of him now

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

Tempted to make a couple of other picks, but I'll stick with the spite for now. I took Ani, so I may as well take the woman who ripped her off and achieved far more commercial success and fame:

1995. This is when I knew the good times were coming to an end. Jagged Little Pill hit and people lost their minds, and I struggled mightily to figure out why this tuneless mess was suddenly on the radio constantly, especially You Oughta Know, which was and remains pure ear poison. The only possible explanations were the faux shockingness of the bl**j** in a theater line (meanwhile, NIN had a hit song in Closer around the same time that featured the chorus, "I want to f*** you like an animal!") and some vague idea of girl power. If people wanted awesome girl power in 1995, there were a million better choices out there: PJ Harvey was a badass who could actually write, play, and sing incredible music, [Ranch] were releasing their debut album on their way to becoming the world's greatest rock band, [Ranch] was only a couple of years removed from putting out (phrasing) Cap's favorite record, the whole Riot Grrrl scene, and so on and so forth. But why listen to Polly Jean poetically mine the rich territory of the absurdities of womanhood when you can listen to this banshee's poison pen letter to *checks notes* Uncle Joey instead.

Recently some writer revisited Jagged Little Pill and finally figured out that it's a steaming pile of shit, but when she tried to alert the rest of the duped public, they turned on her and tore her to pieces. Also, apparently Jagged Little Pill is a broadway musical now. That's just f***ing perfect and ironic, in the Alanisian sense, i.e. unfortunate, because the woman has no grasp of what actual irony is.

Alanis Morrisette, it's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is an extravehicular mobility unit, AKA a spacesuit.

@pit, please rain on someone's wedding day

Argh, that was my female vocalist for this phase. Sniped twice for my final two picks.

The most ironic thing about the song "Ironic" is that there is no irony in it at all. It would be impressive, if that was her intention, but we all know it wasn't.

A traffic jam when you're already late... to a press conference for which you, as city planner, announce that you have devised a system that has eliminated urban traffic... just might have been too much to put into song.