NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

[DancingPanther]

Hill to die on:
Out for 6 months with an ACL
Unavailable tonight with a shoulder
Going to miss some time with a knee

Gee I actually hope whatever creature you're talking about has 2 of all of them, maybe 4 if applicable. If you didn't have an ACL you'd be in way worse shape than if you had a torn one. Or do you mean "he has an ACL" like...he has it in his pocket? Did he take someone else's ACL? Is he robbing medical cadavers??

The absolute stupidest, laziest way to describe an injury. I hate you if you do this. No exceptions. I'm so mad just thinking about it

Who the f*** is up. I'm so mad

 

[DancingPanther]

@GKJ

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Hill to die on:
Out for 6 months with an ACL
Unavailable tonight with a shoulder
Going to miss some time with a knee

Gee I actually hope whatever creature you're talking about has 2 of all of them, maybe 4 if applicable. If you didn't have an ACL you'd be in way worse shape than if you had a torn one. Or do you mean "he has an ACL" like...he has it in his pocket? Did he take someone else's ACL? Is he robbing medical cadavers??

The absolute stupidest, laziest way to describe an injury. I hate you if you do this. No exceptions. I'm so mad just thinking about it

Who the f*** is up. I'm so mad

First of all, I love your spite - you are doing a fantastic job, just fantastic. That is more of a pet peeve than a hill to die on, but there's no problem with you selecting it and I don't want you to be discouraged. You are doing a FINE job, young friend - a FINE job.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@DancingPanther I am calling your Team Hill to Die On "Obvious Anatomical Breaking News"

 

[DancingPanther]

First of all, I love your spite - you are doing a fantastic job, just fantastic. That is more of a pet peeve than a hill to die on, but there's no problem with you selecting it and I don't want you to be discouraged. You are doing a FINE job, young friend - a FINE job.

I did realize this. Let me rephrase in the setting of hill to die on:

Describing an injury in this way advertises someone's smooth brain with a neon sign and is completely wrong and not descriptive

EDIT: perfect lol

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I did realize this. Let me rephrase in the setting of hill to die on:

Describing an injury in this way advertises someone's smooth brain with a neon sign and is completely wrong and not descriptive

EDIT: perfect lol

Got you, fam

 

[Magua]

I love Starship Troopers. I saw it in the theater twice in its initial release. I can count on one hand how many movies have gotten me to do that. This is top tier cutting social satire, a gory interplanetary theme park experience, and a love story that works despite (much) less than ideal acting.

The best thing about it is it's the ultimate middle finger to those "but it's not like the booooooook" people when it comes to any adaptations. They looked at the book and said, "Like that but the exact opposite."

Weighing in at a svelte 730 pounds, our next Spite Supergroup member is a favorite of the paparazzi, which you can tell here from the sounds of all the cameras clicking.



As you can see there, it is important for her to choose her outfits wisely - not just because of the countless lenses on her constantly, but because she will just drop a massive shit without warning #AnytimeAnywhere. She rose to fame by wearing an assless dress out in public for just that reason, and it became a huge hit and a staple in the fat-assed twerking community.

In the following video you can hear her practicing her number one single prior to its recording.



Here it is in its final form - as you can tell, very little was changed from the above practice session. The actual hot girls around her in this video were said to be, quote, "horrified and traumatized." The moment this rose to the top spot in the charts is considered to be "the end of society as we know it" according to historians, economists and city planners.



I think that pretty much covers everything, right? She will of course sing and play the flute, but primarily her bare ass will serve as Sandakanto's drum kit - it is thought to be the largest percussion section in the history of music.

Team Member (literally) - F***ing Lizzo - Vocals, Flute, Percussion, Put Your F***ing Pants On

@DancingPanther

You're not fooling anyone, Cap. This is your Team Babe pick by another name. You want Lizzo onboard the colony ship because you can't bear to leave Earth Prime without her. The issue is I'm not sure we can leave Earth Prime with her. I mean literally leave orbit.

 

[GKJ]

TV/Movie Lawyer

I once saw Legally Blonde on my birthday and I love the actress who plays Elle Woods as an actress, and I'm reasonably sure I'm the only person who would do this, so it is

@pit

 

[pit]

@GKJ , are we skipping @Hurricane28 and @mja ?

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@GKJ , are we skipping @Hurricane28 and @mja ?

I think we're OK - we're going the other way lolz

 

[GKJ]

The phases all run together

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I think we're OK - we're going the other way lolz

Nevermind, I am completely stupid, obviously.

 

[DancingPanther]

Nevermind, I am completely stupid, obviously.

You're not and I respect your effort

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

You're not and I respect your effort

Thanks bruv, cheers.

 

[Lord Defect]

I did realize this. Let me rephrase in the setting of hill to die on:

Describing an injury in this way advertises someone's smooth brain with a neon sign and is completely wrong and not descriptive

EDIT: perfect lol

Video clearly shows an injury to the top of the torso, player is out with a “lower body injury”.

 

[Hurricane28]

Keeping the theme of spite dipshit whiny musicians. We are proud to select John Mayer.

@mja

 

[Lord Defect]

He is such a massive douchebag

 

[BiggE]

He is such a massive douchebag

He’s an actual piece of shit

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I just want to remind you to not be a sexual harassment panda when you pick your Team Babe.

We start the day with @mja on the clock, but unfortunately for him, John Mayer is no longer available. Fortunately for us as a group, we all can beat the shit out of him constantly. That was an extremely astute pick by L'Hurricane. He makes that stupid f***ing orgasm face and acts the fool when he plays and just in general can f*** off, I think we can all agree on that. @pit is on deck. He has also made great choices in his Spite Supergroup, but that's not surprising - he has extremely good taste in music. That reminds me to remind you all to remind me to talk openly about that band I want to talk about openly when we are finished picking Supergroup Two. @BiggE is on the lido afterdeck, but he is finished with his musicians (I think?) ... now I'm not so sure I understood him correctly. I hope he clears that up for me. Young Sandakanto is on the lido afterdeck. Last time he picked a group member (literally) who I had never heard of, but as soon as I heard the name "Skrillex," I knew that he belonged. I'm going to ask him to spell his name, and when he gets to the "k," I am going to hit him in the nuts with a frying pan.

You know why Bono hates the name "U2"? Because he made the mistake, very early on in their career if not at the very beginning, of denying that they were named after the incident where the U2 spy plane piloted by Gary Powers went down in the Soviet Union in 1960 after being hit by a missile. He said that their music "was for us and you, too." That's stupid, obviously, and they were a Cold War band, obviously - their sound, their lyrics, their look (back then) was evocative of nothing so much as the Cold War. Atoadaso then, the very first time I heard that dumb explanation, and I have been atoadasoing everyone ever since. That is just a fact.

People have NO PROBLEM shitting on U2, but they flinch when you shit on Pink f***ing Floyd? Get the f*** out of here. It really does my tits in, innit. It's not because I'm sensitive to criticism of them - I'm so not - but because the vast majority of the time it's just so f***ing stupid and completely divorced from reality. Is that my Hill to Die On? It sure as f*** is one of them.

 

[BiggE]

I just want to remind you to not be a sexual harassment panda when you pick your Team Babe.

We start the day with @mja on the clock, but unfortunately for him, John Mayer is no longer available. Fortunately for us as a group, we all can beat the shit out of him constantly. That was an extremely astute pick by L'Hurricane. He makes that stupid f***ing orgasm face and acts the fool when he plays and just in general can f*** off, I think we can all agree on that. @pit is on deck. He has also made great choices in his Spite Supergroup, but that's not surprising - he has extremely good taste in music. That reminds me to remind you all to remind me to talk openly about that band I want to talk about openly when we are finished picking Supergroup Two. @BiggE is on the lido afterdeck, but he is finished with his musicians (I think?) ... now I'm not so sure I understood him correctly. I hope he clears that up for me. Young Sandakanto is on the lido afterdeck. Last time he picked a group member (literally) who I had never heard of, but as soon as I heard the name "Skrillex," I knew that he belonged. I'm going to ask him to spell his name, and when he gets to the "k," I am going to hit him in the nuts with a frying pan.

You know why Bono hates the name "U2"? Because he made the mistake, very early on in their career if not at the very beginning, of denying that they were named after the incident where the U2 spy plane piloted by Gary Powers went down in the Soviet Union in 1960 after being hit by a missile. He said that their music "was for us and you, too." That's stupid, obviously, and they were a Cold War band, obviously - their sound, their lyrics, their look (back then) was evocative of nothing so much as the Cold War. Atoadaso then, the very first time I heard that dumb explanation, and I have been atoadasoing everyone ever since. That is just a fact.

People have NO PROBLEM shitting on U2, but they flinch when you shit on Pink f***ing Floyd? Get the f*** out of here. It really does my tits in, innit. It's not because I'm sensitive to criticism of them - I'm so not - but because the vast majority of the time it's just so f***ing stupid and completely divorced from reality. Is that my Hill to Die On? It sure as f*** is one of them.

You are correct, the Douchebag Daydream’s lineup is complete.


And utterly revolting.

 

[mja]

Tempted to make a couple of other picks, but I'll stick with the spite for now. I took Ani, so I may as well take the woman who ripped her off and achieved far more commercial success and fame:

1995. This is when I knew the good times were coming to an end. Jagged Little Pill hit and people lost their minds, and I struggled mightily to figure out why this tuneless mess was suddenly on the radio constantly, especially You Oughta Know, which was and remains pure ear poison. The only possible explanations were the faux shockingness of the bl**j** in a theater line (meanwhile, NIN had a hit song in Closer around the same time that featured the chorus, "I want to f*** you like an animal!") and some vague idea of girl power. If people wanted awesome girl power in 1995, there were a million better choices out there: PJ Harvey was a badass who could actually write, play, and sing incredible music, [Ranch] were releasing their debut album on their way to becoming the world's greatest rock band, [Ranch] was only a couple of years removed from putting out (phrasing) Cap's favorite record, the whole Riot Grrrl scene, and so on and so forth. But why listen to Polly Jean poetically mine the rich territory of the absurdities of womanhood when you can listen to this banshee's poison pen letter to *checks notes* Uncle Joey instead.

Recently some writer revisited Jagged Little Pill and finally figured out that it's a steaming pile of shit, but when she tried to alert the rest of the duped public, they turned on her and tore her to pieces. Also, apparently Jagged Little Pill is a broadway musical now. That's just f***ing perfect and ironic, in the Alanisian sense, i.e. unfortunate, because the woman has no grasp of what actual irony is.

Alanis Morrisette, it's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is an extravehicular mobility unit, AKA a spacesuit.

@pit, please rain on someone's wedding day

 

[pit]

I was strutting into this thread amazed that Chad Kroeger, one of my initial 4 picks, was still on the board and ready for the taking. Then @Chuck Downie did the unexpected and made an expected pick.

Back to the drawing board.

So aside from the sonic assault this jackhole has perpetrated, I have a personal story to go along with this one.

For a year before grad school, I worked as the Front of House Manager at the Trenton War Memorial Theater. Sometimes it was an orchestra, sometimes an opera, once Harry Belafonte and one time a local radio station decided they were going to put on a concert. It was 98 Degrees/Sixpence None The Richer/B*Witched and this band. It should tell you something about this pick that 98 Degrees was the lesser evil - dogs miles away were perking up their ears at the hypersonic shrieking coming out of the tween girls there.

So in addition to trashing their dressing rooms (because if you only have 15 minutes of fame as a rock star, you better act like one at a minor venue), the lead singer also tried to get my girlfriend who was working the event for me onto their tour bus after the show. F*** that guy.

He recently retired after this disastrous gig at a wine and beer festival, the last in a long string of failed performances.

Steve Harwell from Smash Mouth - you no talent hack that always wanted to be an all-star but never were, welcome to The Brown Notes c***face. Maybe they'll ask for an a capella cover for the next Shrek abomination. Probably not.



@BiggE , don't let somebody tell you the world is gonna roll you

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Tempted to make a couple of other picks, but I'll stick with the spite for now. I took Ani, so I may as well take the woman who ripped her off and achieved far more commercial success and fame:



Alanis Morrisette, it's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is an extravehicular mobility unit, AKA a spacesuit.

@pit, please rain on someone's wedding day

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

EDIT: I will have more to say on this at a later date.

 

[ajgoal]

I was strutting into this thread amazed that Chad Kroeger, one of my initial 4 picks, was still on the board and ready for the taking. Then @Chuck Downie did the unexpected and made an expected pick.

Back to the drawing board.

So aside from the sonic assault this jackhole has perpetrated, I have a personal story to go along with this one.

For a year before grad school, I worked as the Front of House Manager at the Trenton War Memorial Theater. Sometimes it was an orchestra, sometimes an opera, once Harry Belafonte and one time a local radio station decided they were going to put on a concert. It was 98 Degrees/Sixpence None The Richer/B*Witched and this band. It should tell you something about this pick that 98 Degrees was the lesser evil - dogs miles away were perking up their ears at the hypersonic shrieking coming out of the tween girls there.

So in addition to trashing their dressing rooms (because if you only have 15 minutes of fame as a rock star, you better act like one at a minor venue), the lead singer also tried to get my girlfriend who was working the event for me onto their tour bus after the show. F*** that guy.

He recently retired after this disastrous gig at a wine and beer festival, the last in a long string of failed performances.

Steve Harwell from Smash Mouth - you no talent hack that always wanted to be an all-star but never were, welcome to The Brown Notes c***face. Maybe they'll ask for an a capella cover for the next Shrek abomination. Probably not.



@BiggE , don't let somebody tell you the world is gonna roll you

He's part of @Striiker's "good" band.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Steve Harwell from Smash Mouth - you no talent hack that always wanted to be an all-star but never were, welcome to The Brown Notes c***face. Maybe they'll ask for an a capella cover for the next Shrek abomination. Probably not.



@BiggE , don't let somebody tell you the world is gonna roll you