The Nemesis
Semper Tyrannus
1. Justin Smoak's three year averages: .345 wOBA / 115 wRC+ / .233 ISO
2. Granderson (118 wRC+), Grichuk (109 wRC+), Pearce (108 wRC+), Morales (113 wRC+). Those are three year averages, not 3 year peaks.
3. I imagine sprinkler heads and blisters from hell are the norm rather than the exception
Sprinkler heads are the #1 killer of baseball players. Every year 60 players die in rogue sprinkler attacks. I still remember the 1994 Grapefruit Massacre. Sure, they said the season was destroyed by a work stoppage, but the reality was that a vicious assault by a swarm of sprinklers actually killed the entire Kansas City Royals roster and MLB and MLBPA concocted the strike story to shield us from the grisly truth.
1. Donaldson is not guarantee, and I suppose Stanton is.
2. Sanchez has paper fingers, agreed. And just like Rich Hill, he'll miss the entire season after dealing with such issues.
3. Estrada and Grichuk can be the exact same as they were in 2017, and still be valuable pieces of a playoff contender
Don't you know how prognosticating works? You assume everything bad that can happen to you will while simultaneously presuming that everyone else gets every break they possibly can because reasons. Josh Donaldson is made of play-dough held together with bailing twine while Stanton has Wolverine-esque adamantium bone plating. Sanchez is actually a giant walking blister given human form while Rich Hill just had surgery to replace his regular fingers with leather work gloves. And Estrada/Grichuk are low-key probable to simply abandon the season when they hear that hte McRib is back at a small region of McDonalds in and aroune Tempe, Arizona and decide to become itinerant monks devoted to traveling the desert in a rented Gremlin in order to spread the life-changing gospel of the holy mysterywich.
Come on, Quimby. This is really basic stuff. I expected more from you...