Pre-Game Talk: 2023/24 Training Camp

[avalanche_country]

I couldn’t care less about what happened with Nuke at this point.

 

[missionAvs]

I know everyone is joking around about this, but I'd like to hear something like this:

"I know the fans want to know what happened, and they certainly deserve to, but it's not something I can talk about unfortunately. I just want to say I've long since apologized to my teammates and want to do the same now to the fans. I'm sorry I let down the team when they needed me most. I promise that this year my focus is purely on hockey and you won't be hearing any more stories like this about me. That is all I want to say about the situation, and I hope everyone will respect my privacy and we can move on to talk about this upcoming season. We're all laser-focused on bringing another cup to Denver, and nothing is going to stand in our way this year."

Yeah, that or "I promise you guys that the juice was worth the squeeze."

 

[the_fan]

The way I look at it, Nuke actually did the Avs a favor. Even if they got passed Seattle, they weren’t gonna beat Dallas even with Nuke. They just wouldn’t have enough scoring. This way they got a longer offseason and much needed rest and for injured players like Manson to heal up

 

[Avsboy]

The way I look at it, Nuke actually did the Avs a favor. Even if they got passed Seattle, they weren’t gonna beat Dallas even with Nuke. They just wouldn’t have enough scoring. This way they got a longer offseason and much needed rest and for injured players like Manson to heal up

The glass isn’t full, it’s empty.

 

[the_fan]

The glass isn’t full, it’s empty.

You know how I’m always positive

 

[MarkT]

Yeah, that or "I promise you guys that the juice was worth the squeeze."

I'll give an alternative version:

* Nichushkin, shirtless and sweaty, leans in close to Peter Baugh. Baugh instinctively backs away but Nuke puts an arm around him and pulls him in *
"Look, you have to understand, the playoffs are a stressful time. We had injuries like crazy. Did you know how many injuries I had personally? Four (he holds four fingers in front of Peter's face) Yes four! The wear and tear on your body would have you doing exactly what I did."
* Nishushkin squeezes Bough's shoulder. Bough tries to move away again but Nichushkin holds him close. His breath smells of Vodka. Russian Vodka. *
"There's nothing like some coke after a tough game, man. It recharges your batteries better than any ice bath. A few lines of that and I'm ready to take on the world. And you know the best place to do a line? Off the flat, toned belly of a beautiful woman."
* Baugh tries to speak but Nichushkin puts his fingers on Peter's lips, hushing him as you would a wary horse *
"I've had all sorts of women. I mean look at me. I don't have to go far. But I'm telling you, there is nothing like a Russian woman when you need to have a good time. The problem? It's so f*cking hard to find one on the road. Это смешно. Здесь недостаточно русских. Y'know? So I have this 'friend'. Well, more like an associate. He finds me women when I'm on the road. No big deal."
* Baugh manages to speak *
"Val, you really don't need to--"
"Shh, let me finish. This is important! See, that night, this woman, she just freaks out for no reason. All I did was Сделай как Чарли Шин в моем случае. And the woman throws a fit! What was I supposed to do? So I gave her one of these (Val shows Peter his fist) and that was that! How was I supposed to know it would blow up into this big thing?"
"Val, I..."
"Thanks for listening Pete. It was great to finally tell someone."
* Nichushkin releases Baugh and starts to walk away. Before leaving the room he pauses, turns, and gives Baugh the wink and the gun *
"See you around!"

 

[Bill Peckerskull]

 

[Ararana]

Wonder how many games into the season we keep our top 5 defensemen healthy and playing together. There's some kind of blood curse on that group.

 

[Avsboy]

I'll give an alternative version:

* Nichushkin, shirtless and sweaty, leans in close to Peter Baugh. Baugh instinctively backs away but Nuke puts an arm around him and pulls him in *
"Look, you have to understand, the playoffs are a stressful time. We had injuries like crazy. Did you know how many injuries I had personally? Four (he holds four fingers in front of Peter's face) Yes four! The wear and tear on your body would have you doing exactly what I did."
* Nishushkin squeezes Bough's shoulder. Bough tries to move away again but Nichushkin holds him close. His breath smells of Vodka. Russian Vodka. *
"There's nothing like some coke after a tough game, man. It recharges your batteries better than any ice bath. A few lines of that and I'm ready to take on the world. And you know the best place to do a line? Off the flat, toned belly of a beautiful woman."
* Baugh tries to speak but Nichushkin puts his fingers on Peter's lips, hushing him as you would a wary horse *
"I've had all sorts of women. I mean look at me. I don't have to go far. But I'm telling you, there is nothing like a Russian woman when you need to have a good time. The problem? It's so f*cking hard to find one on the road. Это смешно. Здесь недостаточно русских. Y'know? So I have this 'friend'. Well, more like an associate. He finds me women when I'm on the road. No big deal."
* Baugh manages to speak *
"Val, you really don't need to--"
"Shh, let me finish. This is important! See, that night, this woman, she just freaks out for no reason. All I did was Сделай как Чарли Шин в моем случае. And the woman throws a fit! What was I supposed to do? So I gave her one of these (Val shows Peter his fist) and that was that! How was I supposed to know it would blow up into this big thing?"
"Val, I..."
"Thanks for listening Pete. It was great to finally tell someone."
* Nichushkin releases Baugh and starts to walk away. Before leaving the room he pauses, turns, and gives Baugh the wink and the gun *
"See you around!"

Dater edition:

*Nuke sniffles*
“I hear Nichushkin has a serious cocaine edition.”

*Nuke looks down*
“I sense Nuke is ashamed of having slept with a drunk hooker. He also might not be ashamed.”

Woody Paige then produces an article on legalizing hookers throughout America. It’s about damn time.

 

[SoundwaveIsCharisma]

The way I look at it, Nuke actually did the Avs a favor. Even if they got passed Seattle, they weren’t gonna beat Dallas even with Nuke. They just wouldn’t have enough scoring. This way they got a longer offseason and much needed rest and for injured players like Manson to heal up

It was clearly all a ploy, that wasn’t a sex worker, it was a paid actor, as were all the cops. The Avs went to Nuke and asked if he’d be willing to help the boys out for this upcoming season and he was all in.

The press conference is going to be the Avs revealing their grand scheme. They will also unveil that Girard is actually 6’7”, guys been squatting down the whole time, this season he’s going to stand up.

 

[Pierce Hawthorne]

So indeed he hasn't been healthy and had yet another procedure this summer.


Great stuff! If only somebody could have predicted this would happen and continue to happen for him 14 months ago.

 

[Colorado Avalanche]

Yah, I am not sure we can trust Manson.

 

[Bill Peckerskull]

HT Avs

 

[missionAvs]

I'll give an alternative version:

* Nichushkin, shirtless and sweaty, leans in close to Peter Baugh. Baugh instinctively backs away but Nuke puts an arm around him and pulls him in *
"Look, you have to understand, the playoffs are a stressful time. We had injuries like crazy. Did you know how many injuries I had personally? Four (he holds four fingers in front of Peter's face) Yes four! The wear and tear on your body would have you doing exactly what I did."
* Nishushkin squeezes Bough's shoulder. Bough tries to move away again but Nichushkin holds him close. His breath smells of Vodka. Russian Vodka. *
"There's nothing like some coke after a tough game, man. It recharges your batteries better than any ice bath. A few lines of that and I'm ready to take on the world. And you know the best place to do a line? Off the flat, toned belly of a beautiful woman."
* Baugh tries to speak but Nichushkin puts his fingers on Peter's lips, hushing him as you would a wary horse *
"I've had all sorts of women. I mean look at me. I don't have to go far. But I'm telling you, there is nothing like a Russian woman when you need to have a good time. The problem? It's so f*cking hard to find one on the road. Это смешно. Здесь недостаточно русских. Y'know? So I have this 'friend'. Well, more like an associate. He finds me women when I'm on the road. No big deal."
* Baugh manages to speak *
"Val, you really don't need to--"
"Shh, let me finish. This is important! See, that night, this woman, she just freaks out for no reason. All I did was Сделай как Чарли Шин в моем случае. And the woman throws a fit! What was I supposed to do? So I gave her one of these (Val shows Peter his fist) and that was that! How was I supposed to know it would blow up into this big thing?"
"Val, I..."
"Thanks for listening Pete. It was great to finally tell someone."
* Nichushkin releases Baugh and starts to walk away. Before leaving the room he pauses, turns, and gives Baugh the wink and the gun *
"See you around!"

Nuke? Is that you posting?

 

[Bill Peckerskull]

 

[Tommy Shelby]

Oh good let's start the Frale Makar panic early this year

 

[Bill Peckerskull]

 

[Balthazar]

Why would Makar sit there if he's healthy? This team will never not have key injuries, we have to accept it.

 

[dahrougem2]

I hope Nichushkin starts counting numbers then stops at 99 and winks while flashing his gun. People are left to wonder if that is how many people he has killed in Russia, how many broads he's crushed, and/or how many lines of coke he snorted off asses before this interview.

 

[sethro109]

Why would Makar sit there if he's healthy? This team will never not have key injuries, we have to accept it.

Could be at a Media event for the Avs like Bo was last week.

 

[Tralfamadore]

Could be at a Media event for the Avs like Bo was last week.

He's right there sitting in the viewing area thing.

 

[sethro109]

He's right there sitting in the viewing area thing.

Oh. I completely missed that.

 

[henchman21]

Offseason surgeries for nagging injuries is very common at this level. Not stressing those nagging things early is another normal thing. Not totally worried about these things in a vacuum. What they point to though is this idea that the Avs will just be completely healthy and things will all work out there is a mirage. It simply won't happen. It would be the exception that Makar plays a full season, same with MacKinnon or Manson or whatever name is there for the full 82 games.

 

[ANewHope]

Offseason surgeries for nagging injuries is very common at this level. Not stressing those nagging things early is another normal thing. Not totally worried about these things in a vacuum. What they point to though is this idea that the Avs will just be completely healthy and things will all work out there is a mirage. It simply won't happen. It would be the exception that Makar plays a full season, same with MacKinnon or Manson or whatever name is there for the full 82 games.

Who has ever thought this Avs team would be healthy? Lol You gotta be crazy to be expecting 75+ games out of all the big guns.

It hasn’t happened yet. Won’t happen this year. It’s a pretty low bar for improvement luckily. I’ll settle for Byram playing 60+, Makar sniffing 70, less than 90 games of Dermy/Hunt. We had like 100 games of D.Hunt/Ranta/Chucky/Kaut/Blidh/Megna. They had 4 total points. Manson/Byram playing more games than Hunt/Dermy would be a huge success.

 

[henchman21]

Who has ever thought this Avs team would be healthy? Lol You gotta be crazy to be expecting 75+ games out of all the big guns.

It hasn’t happened yet. Won’t happen this year. It’s a pretty low bar for improvement luckily. I’ll settle for Byram playing 60+, Makar sniffing 70, less than 90 games of Dermy/Hunt. We had like 100 games of D.Hunt/Ranta/Chucky/Kaut/Blidh/Megna. They had 4 total points. Manson/Byram playing more games than Hunt/Dermy would be a huge success.

Lots of chatter about being healthier this season when odds are the Avs just won't be. When ESPN release their projected stats people went wild over the games played, even thought they were completely realistic. The Avs are always one of the most injured teams. I mean they are already kicking off with 82 games with Landy and probably 20+ from Frank. Over 20% of the way to last year's total already.