OT: 119th Obsequious Banter Thread: April Foods Day

[dragonoffrost]

Damn. Now I can't stop picturing him saying things like "By God as my witness you are broken in half!" After "finishing"

Whole new meaning to slobberknocker....

 

[trostol]

just watched the highlights of the Canada-USA T20 cricket WC match..Aaron Jones was murdering the ball

 

[DancingPanther]

just watched the highlights of the Canada-USA T20 cricket WC match..Aaron Jones was murdering the ball

The Warehouse's own Aaron Jones

 

[Superman33]

Since I have been back from the US for a few weeks now, and ofc most of the awesome people on here I have spent the last - f*** - almost 15 years speaking to, are from the US... my observations good and bad.

Albeit I only really spent time in Baltimore and New York.

Good:

Your portion sizes are INSANE. Most places we could order one main and a side and be full before we finished. And this is coming from someone who was used to knocking back 5000 calories a day for years. Actually made it cheaper than expected sometimes.

The Metrocard is incredible value and actually NYC seemed to have pretty great public transport. Manchester is more expensive to get around... even though probably 5x smaller aha. The inter-city busses were also incredibly cheap.

People are friendlier for sure, and less aggressive I think. I thought New York would be a bit "scarier" in some places but in almost a week there did not feel remotely unsafe once, even going to some areas that have more of a reputation. Manchester and London feel - to me - far scarier in terms of public transport etc. Baltimore was a bit "grittier", but I guess would have to go quite a few miles from the centre to get in real trouble.

I saw more "random acts of kindness" in 9 days than I do in a month in the UK.

Your convenience stores in general are very, very good.

Bad:

I actually did not like the service ahaha. It was way too overbearing in general. Though moreso in Baltimore, New York was more relaxed in that regard, like "f***, I just want to eat my food and have a drink, you dont need to come over and re-fill our water every 10 minutes or ask if we need anything... just leave me alone!"

You can really see the extreme poverty in some places, especially when driving through places. England for sure has it, so does Portugal... but you can just tell we have more "even" societies, and England is probably the worst in Europe for uneven society.

Your standard clothes shops kind of suck relative to ours. It is either "Grandad at the barbeque", "pay $1000 to look like you are a Paris fashion show reject" or "pay double what we do in Europe for sportswear"... as a TJ Maxx enthusiast in Europe for example your stores suck even though they are the original (mainly as they dont carry English/European smaller brands who make great clothes at affordable prices). Though tbf the second hand stores we went in were great.

Not being able to buy alcohol anywhere but a liquor store in Baltimore was very annoying.

Your train price are stupid. Even worse than England's which is saying something. Cheaper to fly between cities lmao.

Different:

The price ranges over the space of a couple of miles is INSANE.

We were in the Lower East Side and had some incredible Quesadilla's, Margarita's and beer... like 8 dollars for the quesadilla, and 5 dollars for a big beer, and 10 dollars I think for one of the best Margarita's I have ever had... that is cheaper than anywhere in the UK right now and most places even in Lisbon.

Then you go a few stations on the Metro and the areas dont seem any different... aaaand the prices are double.

Unexpected:

New York did not smell, was not really dirty and we only saw 1 rat aha. Most English towns are waaay worse. (and Berlin still has the title of smelliest town for me)

I was in New York last week and took the Metro for the first time since I was like 10 in the 90s. I was shocked at how easy it was to figure out, but even more shocked at how clean it was. Taxis are for the birds*.

*If they are real. Which we know they aren't.

 

[Flybynite]

Wow. You don't usually see them in such bright conditions. That sucker is wide.

 

[Chinatown88]

https://x.com/i/web/status/1797961618673774894

I honestly don't know if I can pick. All four had good memories.

 

[Kermit the Prog]

https://x.com/i/web/status/1797961618673774894

I honestly don't know if I can pick. All four had good memories.

Borders. Not even close for me.

 

[DancingPanther]

This guy had his license reinstated in 2022 btw. Michigan DoT f***ed up the paperwork, never officially reinstating it. His license status was outdated (aka wrong) on the papers in front of the judge. He turned himself in and spent 2 days in jail and was humiliated on the internet for driving on a legitimate license. Bet your sweet bippy the friend of the court and the DoT are just gonna say whoopsie daisy and carry on like nothing

 

[trostol]

.

https://x.com/i/web/status/1797961618673774894

I honestly don't know if I can pick. All four had good memories.

Borders. Not even close for me.

Like Kermie said..Borders..but I will replace Borders with B. Dalton

 

[Magua]

Borders. Not even close for me.

My parents would take me and my sister to Borders all the time when I was a kid, and I’d be in there for hours perusing. Always preferred it to B&N. Quieter and less pretentious.

 

[Embiid]

Reminds me of the mid to late 90's when the internet was spoken of in more benign and enlightening terms....

Remote Amazon tribe connects to Elon Musk’s Starlink internet, become hooked on porn, social media

“We’re worried young people are going to want to try it,” on tribe leader said of the kinky sex acts they’ve suddenly been exposed to on screen.

nypost.com

 

[wankstifier]

Library>>>>>>Borders

 

[trostol]

i just went down a rabbit hole on shopping cart theory lol

 

[Flybynite]

i just went down a rabbit hole on shopping cart theory lol

Is a person who leaves a shopping cart in a parking spot, but flips it on its side so it doesn't roll considered better, worse, or neutral than the person who leaves it upright?

 

[Chicken N Raffls]

https://x.com/i/web/status/1797961618673774894

I honestly don't know if I can pick. All four had good memories.

Count me in the Borders column. Blockbuster was fun, but ran its course. Toys R Us, also fun, but I ran my course on that ages ago. Neither would be relevant to me now.

Three things stick out to me about K-mart.

1. I loved when my mom got a lot of things because that was more time for me to play the Double Dragon II cabinet game.

2. Little Ceasars

3. It was always a big deal in the local paper when Trump and Ivana went back to school shopping there, because their kid went to school in my home town.

Edit: 4. Blue Icees

 

[Flybynite]

In honor of the Toys 'r' Us talk... Jesus Christ. Did Geoffrey lose a parent on 9/11 or something? 2001 looks depressed as hell/.

 

[Danko]

There's a catholic school carnival a block from my house, we walk about 2-3 minutes through the neighborhood, the last two summers its been awesome. My daughter is 4, she loves it right now, we've gone up the past 3 nights, shes been doing the little kid rides and getting cotton candy...its easy enough to take my son to, although the staring and feeling like people are looking at him is frustrating. I get people are curious, especially kids. Its just frustrating as a parent because you want a sense of normalcy and to go out without people f***ing glaring at your kid clear as day.

Anyway, tonight they had Love Seed Mama Jump play, bad ass. $5 mixed drinks, $5 beers. No kids acting up and fighting. Meanwhile other carnivals/festivals here in Delaware kids stab and shoot each other so they are all starting to shut down. My sons nurse worked a double for us today, so we took my daughter to the phillies game and the nurse watched my son, then we came home and put her to bed, the nurse watched them both for us and we walked 2 minutes up the street to watch the band and have a couple of drinks.

 

[LegionOfDoom91]

This guy had his license reinstated in 2022 btw. Michigan DoT f***ed up the paperwork, never officially reinstating it. His license status was outdated (aka wrong) on the papers in front of the judge. He turned himself in and spent 2 days in jail and was humiliated on the internet for driving on a legitimate license. Bet your sweet bippy the friend of the court and the DoT are just gonna say whoopsie daisy and carry on like nothing

It took another turn apparently.

 

[Chicken N Raffls]

In honor of the Toys 'r' Us talk... Jesus Christ. Did Geoffrey lose a parent on 9/11 or something? 2001 looks depressed as hell/.

Yellow '88 was my wheelhouse. Coincidentally I'm also undefeated (2-0) with Yellow Knight at Medieval Times. I don't even like yellow.

 

[Superman33]

There's a catholic school carnival a block from my house, we walk about 2-3 minutes through the neighborhood, the last two summers its been awesome. My daughter is 4, she loves it right now, we've gone up the past 3 nights, shes been doing the little kid rides and getting cotton candy...its easy enough to take my son to, although the staring and feeling like people are looking at him is frustrating. I get people are curious, especially kids. Its just frustrating as a parent because you want a sense of normalcy and to go out without people f***ing glaring at your kid clear as day.

Anyway, tonight they had Love Seed Mama Jump play, bad ass. $5 mixed drinks, $5 beers. No kids acting up and fighting. Meanwhile other carnivals/festivals here in Delaware kids stab and shoot each other so they are all starting to shut down. My sons nurse worked a double for us today, so we took my daughter to the phillies game and the nurse watched my son, then we came home and put her to bed, the nurse watched them both for us and we walked 2 minutes up the street to watch the band and have a couple of drinks.

LOVE SEED!

If you are familiar with other bands from that era and type, my neighbors son in law was the lead singer for Steamroller Picnic. He and his son regularly do acoustic sets at their house. Best neighbors ever.

 

[Kermit the Prog]

LOVE SEED!

If you are familiar with other bands from that era and type, my neighbors son in law was the lead singer for Steamroller Picnic. He and his son regularly do acoustic sets at their house. Best neighbors ever.

I was pretty much at the end of my six-year college undergrad tenure when LSMJ came on the scene. I have their CD, "Live at The Stone Balloon," somewhere. Y-NOT was a much bigger deal back then. I could bore you for hours about the music scene then (and there).

 

[Appleyard]

Ahaha. This is awesome. Like someone explaining how to pitch to Clayton Kershaw.

Probably one of the greatest 5 bowlers of all time.

 

[DancingPanther]

It took another turn apparently.

WHAT IS HAPPENING

 

[Embiid]

RIP

Veteran who saw flag raised at Iwo Jima dies aged 102 on way to D-Day commemorations

He witnessed the raising of the US flag at Iwo Jima, one of the most iconic moments of the Second World War, and survived the bloody campaign against the Japanese in the Far East.

www.aol.com

 

[dragonoffrost]

There's a catholic school carnival a block from my house, we walk about 2-3 minutes through the neighborhood, the last two summers its been awesome. My daughter is 4, she loves it right now, we've gone up the past 3 nights, shes been doing the little kid rides and getting cotton candy...its easy enough to take my son to, although the staring and feeling like people are looking at him is frustrating. I get people are curious, especially kids. Its just frustrating as a parent because you want a sense of normalcy and to go out without people f***ing glaring at your kid clear as day.

Anyway, tonight they had Love Seed Mama Jump play, bad ass. $5 mixed drinks, $5 beers. No kids acting up and fighting. Meanwhile other carnivals/festivals here in Delaware kids stab and shoot each other so they are all starting to shut down. My sons nurse worked a double for us today, so we took my daughter to the phillies game and the nurse watched my son, then we came home and put her to bed, the nurse watched them both for us and we walked 2 minutes up the street to watch the band and have a couple of drinks.

Glad your area is good to have them....Love Seed definitely kicked ass when I was into the local music scene

This was too damn close to me.

More arrests expected after carnival chaos at Gloucester Township Day in NJ

More arrests expected after carnival chaos at event in Gloucester Twp., New Jersey

6abc.com