Useless Thread MDCCXCIII: Nothing to see here

[Sega Dreamcast]

I can't keep doing commentary on this because I keep stopping every minute or so to talk about another stupid thing I noticed.

Floaty thing grabs Superman and makes his arm bleed. How did that thing make Superman bleed, and why is it played off like it's no big deal?

I thought the realization that he's not invincible is a sizable part of his backstory.

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

40 minutes in and I'm confused by how little has happened so far

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Same floaty thing that MADE SUPERMAN BLEED now hits Amy Adams, who just gets thrown across the room with no visible damage.

Oh wait, she has a small puncture wound near her stomach, so I guess she's comparable in strength to Superman

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

I have nothing against Amy Adams, but Lois Lane is sucking the life out of this movie.

She keeps having talking scenes and they suuuuuuuck.

"I want this story out there, because I want my mystery man to know that I know the truth."

You know the truth, but you don't know who he is. Well, then you don't know the f***ing truth.

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Where did this big ship come from? He came to earth on something roughly the size of a car.

Superman was hitchhiking earlier, presumably to stay hidden, but now he's just in this giant ship that's floating around like he couldn't be bothered.

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Oh great, more exposition.

Remember that shit from 45 minutes ago? Well we're going to explain it now.

Can we possibly add more CGI to a god damn exposition scene? It would be less distracting if Russell Crowe had a powerpoint presentation

 

[John Price]

 

[Siamese Dream]

Is the attractive blonde woman who has gone missing in London on the news across the pond

 

[John Price]

Is the attractive blonde woman who has gone missing in London on the news across the pond

no

 

[John Price]

your commentary makes me want to analyze Man of Steel

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

your commentary makes me want to analyze Man of Steel

I'm prepping myself for ZSJL, because it has that car crash "can't look away" aura about it

 

[John Price]

I'm prepping myself for ZSJL, because it has that car crash "can't look away" aura about it

i might do commentary on that when it is on cable

not paying 18 dollars for that shit

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Superhero outfit reveal!!!!! Oh, they're still doing exposition so that was a really lame reveal.

Why even bother with a reveal if you're going to make it boring.

Superman flies for the first time, before a Marvel-esque scene where he loses control and comically crashes into a mountain.

Second time flying, this time with god awful CGI, he flies perfectly.

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Cool shot over Superman's shoulder while he's flying lasts for less than 5 seconds, before we go back to the visual mess full of frantic cutting and poor framing.

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

"The only way you can disappear for good is to stop helping people altogether and I sense that's not an option."

Idk, he could grow a mustache

 

[Tarantula]

Is the attractive blonde woman who has gone missing in London on the news across the pond

Just skimmed the details from a UK based news source. Grim indeed.

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

I don't know much about tornados, but I'm pretty sure they don't just spring up out of nowhere in 15 seconds.

Also, this is an incredibly busy country road, with bumper to bumper traffic as far as the eye can see.

Earlier in the scene, we see them driving with traffic going their direction, with no traffic going the other direction. So this massive pack of cars just drove towards a tornado?

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

How the f*** do you leave your dog in the car?

Why is Kevin Costner going to get the dog?

Why is this tornado so quiet?

Why did Tin Cup stand there and disappear into the tornado?

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Hold the f***ing phone.

Man of Steel was written by David Goyer and Christopher Nolan, the same guys who wrote The Dark Knight.

 

[JMCx4]

Is the attractive blonde woman who has gone missing in London on the news across the pond

Unless she's on a reality show or she's a pop singer or an internet influencer, we don't care.

 

[John Price]

@Sega Dreamcast what minute of MoS are you on

 

[izzy]

do jason and nick robertson have the same parents

 

[izzy]

what movie should i watch tonight

 

[John Price]

what movie should i watch tonight

Logan

 

[John Price]

Logan is available VOD on FX uncensored and without commercials.

In the first 5 minute Wolverine drops like 10 f***s