First of all you can't wait something from people if you didn't tell them about it clearly. And even then they still live in their own routine and rhythm. Someone can not connecting with you not because they don't want it but because they are busy and tired, many people are tired now.
Or because they are having bad habits like you mentioned. Or everything in the same time. Did you have some romantic feelings or did you try to carry about her, because if you did and she didn't want it or didn't know about then again you and she have different expectations from communication. If she is important for you as a person or a friend you can try to talk with her about it, may be offer your help, if you will notice she can't accept the truth about her problem, you can try to talk with her perants. But no one ask you about it and there is a chance no one will thanks to you after even if she will going on the healthy path.
We have no romantic feelings for each other and have been friends for over 20 years. We've known each other for probably over 25 years. We did hook up several times in the span of several months, but that was almost 20 years ago (2004) and it was never more than that. We were good friends, we were hanging out on the couch, both of us were single, so we just did it. It felt good, so we did it a few more times. That was that and it never affected the friendship, which has been very strong since. Our friendship is literally like I'm one of the girls or she's one of the guys. I have love for her the same way I do for about 5 or 6 male friends that I have.
She'll be 40 early next year and she's really let herself go. She's always been a big girl (I always thought she was cute), but she must weigh over 300 pounds now. I'm friends with her boyfriend too. He's a good guy, but he's on the drugs too. He's not an abusive guy or anything. Basically, they live with her mom and they also live with their 2 kids. The oldest is from another guy and she just went off to college. I can tell she has a bit of resentment for the mother and seems closer to the grandmother. They'll be living there as long as the mother lives or as long as they live. Pretty good chance her mother will outlive at least one of them, if not both of them. This shit is no joke. Her boyfriend was telling me about all these health ailments he has. He was telling me his blood pressure is some ridiculously high number. He tells me he pisses and shits blood sometimes, but he doesn't see a doctor. He's not even two months older than me and he's one of those people that makes me feel good about my health.
They both work at a restaurant (where her mother is one of the managers) and everything they make goes to their drug habit.
Honestly, I haven't seen them in 5 or 6 years, other than on facetime calls, as they live in Jersey and I haven't even been there in 5 or 6 years. Our mutual friend just saw her a week ago because he was up there visiting and wanted her and the family to meet his new girlfriend, so he dropped by. His family has been friends with her family, so they've known each other almost their entire lives. They go back longer than her and I do. He said she looks awful and nods out while standing up, and he's legitimately afraid she's gonna fall over because she falls asleep while standing up. She's also not afraid to do drugs in front of people she knows and trusts, even if they don't do them. Our mutual friend sees her fairly often, as he lives in Jersey for part of the year still. He said she'll smoke the H right in front of him and he said it smells like something ungodly burning. When she first started this habit (which hasn't been too many years ago) she was only snorting the stuff. Now she's moved to smoking it in the last year or two. Next comes shooting it up, I'm sure, which she claims she'll NEVER do.
This fentanyl/heroin/opiates/whatever really is out of control. When I was a kid, the only people that I knew that did that were people I saw shooting it up on the street over in the city (New York) when we would go over. We didn't really know people that did heroin or smoked crack or meth (which I think was was being called just SPEED when I was a kid) or any of that. Some of us drank (even pretty heavily), some of us smoked weed a few times and some even did it often. Some did shrooms and acid (not me) here and there. There were some cocaine users in town. Some of that got pretty out of control with it. Of course these days, cocaine is now more dangerous than ever because you never know if it's got FENTANYL in it. I'm afraid that 5-10 years, if you buy weed off the street that you might be getting fentanyl in it. And it's still not even legal in Florida, which is dumb (it is in Jersey). I don't smoke it, but I'd rather see people smoking weed (weed that doesn't have FENTANYL in it) than doing other things. I actually find weed to be far less evil than alcohol, but that's for a different topic.
A lot of people are using opiates now. It's crazy. I had a girlfriend OD on it (she lived, only thanks to her drug using friends having access to narcan), I had a guy on the street asking me if I did subs a few years ago (suboxone/subutex) and 6 months before he asked me this, I wouldn't have even known what he was talking about, but thanks to my friend, I became familiar with what that was.
It's a mess. The only time I would ever consider any kind of a pain pill is if I was definitely in the end of life stage and the pain was too much. My grandfather was on percocets for years before he died (he was partially paralyzed) and when he died, I remember someone in the family (who isn't a drug or pill taker) taking a few of his percocets in case they ever needed them for pain. I told them to watch f***ing with that shit, and that was years ago before I even knew what we know now.
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