Yeah, getting ghosted sucks. Happened to me multiple times. Eventually I met my wife though so, in the end, those others just weren't meant to be. Still sucks though.
OT: The Avalounge but every time someone posts the quality declines
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In my own fitness struggles, I was so upset about the Avs game last night I turned it off midway and switched on Atlanta and Agents of SHIELD on the DVR whilst on the treadmill, felt good about going that whole time but afterwards my knees let me know I done a bad thing. Years of hockey have taken their toll as I enter middle age. Gonna have to find a way to work out my legs while keeping it low-impact. Lunges are out.
Cousin Eddie
You Serious Clark?
- Nov 3, 2006
- 40,200
- 37,461
I want some opinions of people familiar with hiring/taking on new job positions when it comes to offers and counter offers.
I have an offer for a new job. It's basically perfect. More than fair compensation wise. I could simply accept and be very happy and I feel like it's what I should do. On the other hand I've heard many people say before to never accept a job offer without countering. Value yourself and always try to get a little more. My fear is that if I do this it will piss them off and not offer me anything. I don't want to miss out on this opportunity. I certainly don't want to put a bad taste in the mouth of my future employer. Again, i'm fine taking the offer as is, but on the other hand if it can be better maybe I should try and make that happen.
What does everyone think.
I have an offer for a new job. It's basically perfect. More than fair compensation wise. I could simply accept and be very happy and I feel like it's what I should do. On the other hand I've heard many people say before to never accept a job offer without countering. Value yourself and always try to get a little more. My fear is that if I do this it will piss them off and not offer me anything. I don't want to miss out on this opportunity. I certainly don't want to put a bad taste in the mouth of my future employer. Again, i'm fine taking the offer as is, but on the other hand if it can be better maybe I should try and make that happen.
What does everyone think.
- Jan 18, 2016
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I don't think I'll ever be "jacked", but at this point I've seen enough change in my body to say that I'm a "dad bod--minus being a dad" stage. I'm just not really interested in becoming "muscle jacked", but I would like to add some tone/definition, and I'll get there.
Chicks are into dad bods now so you’re in a good place
- Jan 18, 2016
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My current girlfriend ghosted me after the we met the first time. Little did she know
lol
SaltySkywalker
Bushes of Love
If there’s a legit chance of them souring on you for countering I would just take the offer. If it’s basically perfect already, just don’t even think about the alternative and count your blessings. IMO.
- Jan 18, 2016
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I’m with Salty here. Now I’m probably the youngest person here and don’t have the work and life experience that others here do, but if it’s a good opportunity why mess with it? Take it and run.
- Dec 2, 2007
- 17,391
- 2,408
If you're not sure by now it's too late. You need to tease out the salary early on before they send an offer to you, not counter them. The only time you should counter is if you're not convinced you want the job without corresponding salary. My current job I asked salary up front well before the offer stage and explained I had a higher offer elsewhere, they said it was take it or leave it. If I had tried to counter I might have lost the job. Now I'm well off and glad I took a short term hit for longer term success.
henchman21
Mr. Meeseeks
- Feb 24, 2012
- 67,013
- 53,440
I'm apparently the counter point... I'd counter. Don't make it too extreme or anything if you are fine with the initial offer, but the best time to get a raise is when you first start. Everything going forward builds off your base now. If a company gives out around 5% raises every year... a 5k difference in base really starts to make a difference... especially 2-3 years down the road. At 50k it goes 50 to 52.5 to 55.1 to 57.9. At 55k.. it goes 55 to 57.75 to 60.6 to 63.6... in other words the difference grows. And speaking from experience, the first offer is usually 10% lower than they are willing to go up to. Asking for 5% more usually gets a pretty quick acceptance from the offering company.
Now all of that said, if you really don't care about the money, just accept and move on.
Now all of that said, if you really don't care about the money, just accept and move on.
RockLobster
King in the North
Chicks are into dad bods now so you’re in a good place
Well...let's say that I "just now entered" that stage, at least in my opinion. I still have quite a bit of imperfection, some of which may never really change and some that I think will "tighten" up over more time. I mean I've gone down 5 pant sizes, so I think it's only natural to assume that as I keep slimming, some of those imperfections will fade. But I'm beginning to think that I won't ever be out of a "dad bod" image unless I devote time to that. And this isn't me looking to be lazy or anything, but I'm not sure I will devote time to that. I've never had a desire to be a muscularly jacked individual, so that's where that's coming from.
Henchy can speak to what I'm talking about, he's pretty much the only person (besides my close friends) who's seen a "before and after" pic...because we homies like that.
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- Jan 18, 2016
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It’s awesome to see all the hard work is paying off for you though. It really seems like you’ve become happier after making such a big life decision. Know we’re rooting ya and we all wanna keep updated on your progress.
RockLobster
King in the North
Happier, yes. Are there still people (who even post on this board) who would say I'm a dick? Absolutely (and for those people, it may be warranted *shrug*)
. I mean in reality, there are people that push my buttons, I'm no different from anyone else in that regard, but overall I'd say I've really mellowed out on a lot of things. Some things are just not worth getting all up in arms about...like on this board when people are having fun but then start breaking the forum rules (of course there are times when forum rules are broken that being mellow just isn't an option). I guess you can say that with the loss of 90+ pounds of weight, I've also shed a lot of my previous mindset. I'm beginning to suspect that I just told myself I was happy because I had a fiancee and I thought we were moving towards marriage, getting a house, and having a life together. But as I look back, I think I can see that it was a facade. I was doing nothing but barreling to an early heart attack, and I apparently didn't care. I can only hope that I didn't put too much damage on my heart now, as I get healthier.
But in all seriousness--you and everyone should know that I genuinely appreciate the kind words an encouragement. I know it's somewhat vain to like them, but I do. Though I can honestly say I'm not doing this for the encouragement, whether that's here or from my friends/on Facebook, but because something finally clicked for me and I wanted to be healthier.
One thing's for sure--I love being able to fit into smaller/better fitting clothes. I'm still buying in the Big & Tall section, but on the smaller end of it (like seriously--I think I'm one size in shirt and pants away from the bigger end of the Regular sections).
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LieutenantDangle
Barry McKockner
I’m in the same boat as you right now. Have a contract waiting in my inbox to sign. I’m fine with the compensation and don’t really want to counteroffer. It’s a one year contract so I figure I will take the offer, crush it and cash in next year
Foppberg
Registered User
Happier, yes. Are there still people (who even post on this board) who would say I'm a dick? Absolutely (and for those people, it may be warranted *shrug*)
But in all seriousness--you and everyone should know that I genuinely appreciate the kind words an encouragement. I know it's somewhat vain to like them, but I do. Though I can honestly say I'm not doing this for the encouragement, whether that's here or from my friends/on Facebook, but because something finally clicked for me and I wanted to be healthier.
One thing's for sure--I love being able to fit into smaller/better fitting clothes. I'm still buying in the Big & Tall section, but on the smaller end of it (like seriously--I think I'm one size in shirt and pants away from the bigger end of the Regular sections).
Dick for talking about your weight loss? Or just you in general?
But no I get it, comments from the internet seem silly but when you tell someone about something you're doing/going to do, there's that extra pressure to do it since you don't want to be like oh.. right, no I gave up on that. I can see how it could be something to keep you from deviating or giving up.
Plus it's always satisfying when you haven't seen someone in years and they don't recognize you at first.
SaltySkywalker
Bushes of Love
Happier, yes. Are there still people (who even post on this board) who would say I'm a dick? Absolutely (and for those people, it may be warranted *shrug*)
I guess you can say that with the loss of 90+ pounds of weight, I've also shed a lot of my previous mindset. I'm beginning to suspect that I just told myself I was happy because I had a fiancee and I thought we were moving towards marriage, getting a house, and having a life together. But as I look back, I think I can see that it was a facade. I was doing nothing but barreling to an early heart attack, and I apparently didn't care. I can only hope that I didn't put too much damage on my heart now, as I get healthier.
But in all seriousness--you and everyone should know that I genuinely appreciate the kind words an encouragement. I know it's somewhat vain to like them, but I do. Though I can honestly say I'm not doing this for the encouragement, whether that's here or from my friends/on Facebook, but because something finally clicked for me and I wanted to be healthier.
One thing's for sure--I love being able to fit into smaller/better fitting clothes. I'm still buying in the Big & Tall section, but on the smaller end of it (like seriously--I think I'm one size in shirt and pants away from the bigger end of the Regular sections).
Never too late to start my friend! I’m one of those people that always lives in retrospect wishing I had done things differently but it’s no way to live and I’m working on it. Can’t change the past, can only move forward on the right foot.
RockLobster
King in the North
Dick for talking about your weight loss? Or just you in general?
But no I get it, comments from the internet seem silly but when you tell someone about something you're doing/going to do, there's that extra pressure to do it since you don't want to be like oh.. right, no I gave up on that. I can see how it could be something to keep you from deviating or giving up.
Plus it's always satisfying when you haven't seen someone in years and they don't recognize you at first.
I think most would agree that some specific people on this board would say "nah, he's a dick in general", and I'm okay with that--because that person(s) would elicit the same reaction from me. So it's kind of a wash there right? Perhaps it's time to live and let live?
As far as not recognizing me...I played softball with my roommate and one of his competitive teams last Sunday, but this was in a Rec League and I know one of the players on his team. He came up to me in the 3rd inning, in the dugout and said "I honestly didn't recognize you when you came over to say hi earlier--you've lost a shit-ton of weight!", so crap like that, as superficial as it is, does make me feel good. Or when I visited a friend I hadn't seen in a few months the other day, he opened the door as I was walking up to his house and exclaimed "holy shit dude! You look like a completely different person!" Again, that crap, as superficial as it is, does feel good to hear. But even if I didn't hear it, it wouldn't stop me from doing this. Because my goal has always been to get in better shape, weight wise, so that I can just feel good about myself. And now it's a daily battle, against myself, to do the best I can do. When I hit slumps, and I feel like I've had about 3 of them now, there's no sitting around feeling sorry, it's "well, looks like I'm doing some 2-a-day's until I'm out of this bullshit" and I get up at 5:15am to get my morning workout, then come home and get my second one in before dinner.
- Jan 18, 2016
- 35,067
- 26,262
I think most would agree that some specific people on this board would say "nah, he's a dick in general", and I'm okay with that--because that person(s) would elicit the same reaction from me. So it's kind of a wash there right? Perhaps it's time to live and let live?
As far as not recognizing me...I played softball with my roommate and one of his competitive teams last Sunday, but this was in a Rec League and I know one of the players on his team. He came up to me in the 3rd inning, in the dugout and said "I honestly didn't recognize you when you came over to say hi earlier--you've lost a ****-ton of weight!", so crap like that, as superficial as it is, does make me feel good. Or when I visited a friend I hadn't seen in a few months the other day, he opened the door as I was walking up to his house and exclaimed "holy **** dude! You look like a completely different person!" Again, that crap, as superficial as it is, does feel good to hear. But even if I didn't hear it, it wouldn't stop me from doing this. Because my goal has always been to get in better shape, weight wise, so that I can just feel good about myself. And now it's a daily battle, against myself, to do the best I can do. When I hit slumps, and I feel like I've had about 3 of them now, there's no sitting around feeling sorry, it's "well, looks like I'm doing some 2-a-day's until I'm out of this bull****" and I get up at 5:15am to get my morning workout, then come home and get my second one in before dinner.
There’s nothing wrong with liking being complimented, I know we’re taught that it’s self centered and vain but a little boost to your self esteem is a good thing, as long as you don’t go out of your way and do things to make sure you get complimented.
UncleRisto
Not Great, Bob!
I did a student work experience thing at this one place the last couple of weeks and they complimented the hell out of my scientific writing. It was so god damn rewarding. Motivationally, it really helped with work.
- Jan 18, 2016
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- 26,262
Being complimented is amazing. I work in the service industry so I’m constantly dealing pointless bitching and complaining, but when I get a compliment it really makes work that much easier.
If you've already done sufficient research on what the average salary for your job in your state/province is for the given position and it's in the higher range of the expected salary, accept it. But if it's at the bottom end of the salary you'd be able to negotiate a little. When a company offers you a job, you're their first candidate and they want you. It depends if this is an entry/mid-level/executive position as well, but i'd imagine it's probably mid-level or higher where they wouldn't be offended if you negotiated. If the company completely pulls the offer off the table for attempting to negotiate a salary, that's a huge red flag (assuming the counter offer is reasonable).
- Dec 2, 2007
- 17,391
- 2,408
There's not enough likes for this post. We really need a positive culture change where we get rid of participation awards and just more frequently compliment people on their strengths and help them with their weaknesses honestly. I miss that part of being in Japan, everyone was so damn positive it was rubbing off.
- Jan 18, 2016
- 35,067
- 26,262
I just find it mind boggling that people nowadays can’t handle sort of constructive criticism without being offended. I mean someone in a management position is there to make sure everyone is doing their jobs and make sure if someone isn’t up to par that they fix what’s necessary. And hey compliments go a long way as well, just pointing out someone’s faults also isn’t the right way to work.
Difficult, I would probably not push it too hard right now, as long as you are doing one of hell of a job you will be in a good position for the future, I would probably take it. The biggest challenge will come later, you have to find motivation and prove you are one hell of a guy and everything will be fine.
I think most would agree that some specific people on this board would say "nah, he's a dick in general", and I'm okay with that--because that person(s) would elicit the same reaction from me. So it's kind of a wash there right? Perhaps it's time to live and let live?
As far as not recognizing me...I played softball with my roommate and one of his competitive teams last Sunday, but this was in a Rec League and I know one of the players on his team. He came up to me in the 3rd inning, in the dugout and said "I honestly didn't recognize you when you came over to say hi earlier--you've lost a ****-ton of weight!", so crap like that, as superficial as it is, does make me feel good. Or when I visited a friend I hadn't seen in a few months the other day, he opened the door as I was walking up to his house and exclaimed "holy **** dude! You look like a completely different person!" Again, that crap, as superficial as it is, does feel good to hear. But even if I didn't hear it, it wouldn't stop me from doing this. Because my goal has always been to get in better shape, weight wise, so that I can just feel good about myself. And now it's a daily battle, against myself, to do the best I can do. When I hit slumps, and I feel like I've had about 3 of them now, there's no sitting around feeling sorry, it's "well, looks like I'm doing some 2-a-day's until I'm out of this bull****" and I get up at 5:15am to get my morning workout, then come home and get my second one in before dinner.
Try to make some kind of long term plan, try to be mentally prepared.
You may get injured, you may probably hit more slumps but you need to find ways and motivation out of them as quickly as possible.
My problem is that I tend to make really, really ambitious plans and I follow them with an almost military discipline, I get great results (I love competing with myself and sometimes others) but after some time (it can be 3 months or 16 months) I start feeling a bit mentally and/or physical worn out (perhaps also getting an injury). The biggest challenge by far is to get out from the slumps and you will hit them, sooner or later.
Cousin Eddie
You Serious Clark?
- Nov 3, 2006
- 40,200
- 37,461
Thanks for the responses guys. I'm curious what industry standard is for vacation time? I'm being offered 2 weeks paid vacation. Seems low because I currently get 4 but after a bit of research it seems kind of normal. Would increase to 3 weeks after 4 years.
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