Social Media Septic Tank Thread

[Striiker]

I COULD LUCK INTO A HOME RUN

Oops, I accidentally hit Major League Pitching 330’.

I don’t think he even realizes that the problem isn’t just making contact with the ball (which he could accidentally do, but it’d be a miracle) but also that there’s no chance he has the strength to send the ball far enough even if he made perfect contact.

Honestly, he’s so stupid I’m surprised he doesn’t write for the Flyers.

 

[Striiker]

And the other funny thing about that tweet is the one thing he thinks he can’t do is the only one he actually could.

There’s no chance he’s scoring in the NFL, NBA, or MLB. Zero. None. Absolutely not.

He could hypothetically get a goal in the NHL if you just told him to stand in front of the net and bounced pucks off of him.

 

[Cody Webster]

 

[JojoTheWhale]

And the other funny thing about that tweet is the one thing he thinks he can’t do is the only one he actually could.

There’s no chance he’s scoring in the MLB, NBA, or NFL. Zero. None. Absolutely not.

He could hypothetically get a goal in the NHL if you just told him to stand in front of the net and bounced pucks off of him.

Yes. He’s not beating a Goalie cleanly ever. But he doesn’t have to do that to score.

He’s also the most confident at the hardest one to do. Maybe if you had dozens of tries at it, one time an Offensive Lineman could shove your carcass over the pile to gain a half of a Yard as pieces flew off of you like you were Mr. Potato Head. But there is no getting help from an actual athlete in the batter’s box. That’s all you.

 

[LegionOfDoom91]

I feel a lot of non-hockey watchers/players are very off put by the skating aspect. For a lot of these people it’s hard for them even to stand up straight & keep their balance on skates let alone actually move. So I feel that’s where a lot for he trepidation comes from.

 

[Magua]

I could absolutely score a touchdown. I could bomb a home run. I could drain a step back 3 in an NBA game. I could play hundreds of games of hockey for Tortorella and never, ever score a goal. It looks impossible.

 

[wankstifier]

I feel a lot of non-hockey watchers/players are very off put by the skating aspect. For a lot of these people it’s hard for them even to stand up straight & keep their balance on skates let alone actually move. So I feel that’s where a lot for he trepidation comes from.

Most of them, including me, can't consistently drive a golfball straight when it's teed up. Some of these unathletic halfwits expect to luck into squaring up major league pitching, though?

 

[Magua]

Most of them, including me, can't consistently drive a golfball straight when it's teed up. Some of these unathletic halfwits expect to luck into squaring up major league pitching, though?

I could go 450 feet off Yunior Marte.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I’m pretty sure that back in like 2020 they brought ESP to a baseball field and had someone (maybe Jack Fritz) pitch to him.

It wasn’t pretty.

 

[LegionOfDoom91]

I’m pretty sure that back in like 2020 they brought ESP to a baseball field and had someone (maybe Jack Fritz) pitch to him.

It wasn’t pretty.

I would have definitely had this guy pegged as an alpha.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I would have definitely had this guy pegged as an alpha.

 

[Rebels57]

I am 100% confident from my time in the batting cages that I could never in my life take a major league pitcher deep.

I would have definitely had this guy pegged as an alpha.

Emphasis on pegged

 

[Chicken N Raffls]

I feel a lot of non-hockey watchers/players are very off put by the skating aspect. For a lot of these people it’s hard for them even to stand up straight & keep their balance on skates let alone actually move. So I feel that’s where a lot for he trepidation comes from.

It's why I think, overall, hockey takes more skill than any sport. Hitting major league pitching is the hardest thing in sports. I can't imagine the vision, processing, and timing it takes to be an NFL quarterback (to say nothing of the physical talent). But overall, the skill it takes to puckhandle, shoot, pass and receive passes, deflect pucks....and all that while ice skating. I'd be curious to know if anyone ever made it to the NHL after picking up hockey/skating at say age 16. I'd be surprised if there were.

 

[Magua]

hockey takes more skill than any sport

 

[LegionOfDoom91]

It's why I think, overall, hockey takes more skill than any sport. Hitting major league pitching is the hardest thing in sports. I can't imagine the vision, processing, and timing it takes to be an NFL quarterback (to say nothing of the physical talent). But overall, the skill it takes to puckhandle, shoot, pass and receive passes, deflect pucks....and all that while ice skating. I'd be curious to know if anyone ever made it to the NHL after picking up hockey/skating at say age 16. I'd be surprised if there were.

Ed Jovanovski was 12 & Akim Aliu was 16 when they started playing hockey. Off the top of my head that’s some of the notable late starters.

 

[Striiker]

Well there’s bills first old movie tweet of the afternoon.

Here we go.

 

[Magua]

Well there’s bills first old movie tweet of the afternoon.

Here we go.

Naked Gun though….

 

[Striiker]

Naked Gun though….

No, we have to be stern here. It’s a gateway tweet.

You think “I can do a little Naked Gun. I won’t get addicted.” Next thing you know you’re sitting in your own filth, tweeting about some 80s wrestler nobody gives a shit about.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Flyers catching strays.

 

[Chicken N Raffls]

We need an Ewww emoji

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

 

[CutOnDime97]

Well there’s bills first old movie tweet of the afternoon.

Here we go.

Still beats "look at this emo band I like" tweets

 

[Chicken N Raffls]

This is the part where he talks about the Sixers being better run than the Phillies because a bunch of 2nd round exits

 

[LegionOfDoom91]

ESP somehow has ended up on my twitter suggested feed so I get his tweets even though I don’t follow him. Even beyond the dumb sports talk radio like attention seeking tweets I get this jackass’ training camp tweets where he’s like charting QB throws during drills which just makes me hate him even more.

 

[Chicken N Raffls]

ESP somehow has ended up on my twitter suggested feed so I get his tweets even though I don’t follow him. Even beyond the dumb sports talk radio like attention seeking tweets I get this jackass’ training camp tweets where he’s like charting QB throws during drills which just makes me hate him even more.