OT: Relationship Advice Thread

[SnowblindNYR]

Im really happy to hear she’s there for you and just wanted to wish ya the best with everything happening.

In the future If you need any help with immigration stuff send me a msg. Long story short I just married my wife (I’m a Canadian she’s from NYC) so we are going through the process of getting me a green card atm. It’s a pain but 100% do able Just takes a lot of time

Thank you! Although unfortunately I think there might be some additional difficulties for countries where people move to the US illegally commonly. Maybe I'm wrong but she's having difficulty just visiting.

 

[EdJovanovski]

Im really happy to hear she’s there for you and just wanted to wish ya the best with everything happening.

In the future If you need any help with immigration stuff send me a msg. Long story short I just married my wife (I’m a Canadian she’s from NYC) so we are going through the process of getting me a green card atm. It’s a pain but 100% do able Just takes a lot of time

I envy you

 

[EdJovanovski]

Thank you! Although unfortunately I think there might be some additional difficulties for countries where people move to the US illegally commonly. Maybe I'm wrong but she's having difficulty just visiting.

It's way easier to move to America from a third world country than from Canada, only way is to marry an American who's willing to sponsor you, get a high paying job offer in an extremely specific field that's willing to sponsor you; or invest over $500,000 into an American company.

Other countries can apply under so many other circumstances, claim asylum, have diversity visa lotteries, etc. or if you're on the Southern Border you can just stroll across lol.

 

[Taluss]

It's way easier to move to America from a third world country than from Canada, only way is to marry an American who's willing to sponsor you, get a high paying job offer in an extremely specific field that's willing to sponsor you; or invest over $500,000 into an American company.

Other countries can apply under so many other circumstances, claim asylum, have diversity visa lotteries, etc. or if you're on the Southern Border you can just stroll across lol.

This portion is only for a work visa. & to make it more clear you have to be educated in a job that no American in a reasonable distance from the company that sponsors you can fur fill.

If an American has your same skills and Is willing to work they take that job no questions asked. I’ve tried for years to get a work visa, this is what killed me on the attempts. Unfortunately there’s lots of skilled electricians lol.

Luckily I found the right woman and after 6 years of dating we decided to marry & the green card is simple (though takes a long time) that way

 

[EdJovanovski]

This portion is only for a work visa. & to make it more clear you have to be educated in a job that no American in a reasonable distance from the company that sponsors you can fur fill.

If an American has your same skills and Is willing to work they take that job no questions asked. I’ve tried for years to get a work visa, this is what killed me on the attempts. Unfortunately there’s lots of skilled electricians lol.

Luckily I found the right woman and after 6 years of dating we decided to marry & the green card is simple (though takes a long time) that way

So much red tape, if it weren't for desperately needing a green card I would be trying to find a wife in Colombia lol. But I need an American

 

[Kane One]

Speaking from experience, I've peed in the company pool more than a few times...none of them ended well. Not saying you shouldn't do it, but the company policy/sexual harassment stuff aside, it took my focus away from my work & it also got old being around the person I was dating ALL the time.

In today's culture, I'd very reluctant to entertain this at all. I said this to Snowblind & I'll repeat it to you....people are crazy these days. Someone may start off being extremely cool, but when emotion & relationships are involved, people (specifically women) become extremely irrational. Last thing you need is relationship drama overlapping at work. lf you really like your job, it's not worth it. It's way easier to find a different woman to ask out than it is to find a job you're happy with.


I'm doing the same in reverse. Italians & jews can be a great mix.

So as an update, she does not pee in the company pool, unfortunately.

I just asked her out for a drink and to cut off everything else not relevant, she said “I don’t think it’s a good idea to hang out with coworkers alone like that.”

feelsbadman.gif

 

[Boris Zubov]

So as an update, she does not pee in the company pool, unfortunately.

I just asked her out for a drink and to cut off everything else not relevant, she said “I don’t think it’s a good idea to hang out with coworkers alone like that.”

feelsbadman.gif

At least someone took my advice... it appears she reads this board. You didn't want to date someone from HFNYR, with whom you also work with.

Alas, I blew it for you... I owe you a beer at the next meet up!

 

[LokiDog]

At least someone took my advice... it appears she reads this board. You didn't want to date someone from HFNYR, who you also work with.

Alas, I blew it for you... I owe you a beer at the next meet up!

Imagine accidentally knowing someone from this board in real life without knowing they post here. You go through all the infatuation and early stages of dating, start getting serious and then find out “you’re @Loki Dog 74?? Jesus, you’re a miserable, insane asshole”.

 

[Boris Zubov]

Imagine accidentally knowing someone from this board in real life without knowing they post here. You go through all the infatuation and early stages of dating, start getting serious and then find out “you’re @Loki Dog 74?? Jesus, you’re a miserable, insane asshole”.

I would hope & pray that most of us in our day to day lives are nothing like our GDT personalities. I can speak for myself & say that I only lose my shit during playoff games. As soon as the game is over, it's like hockey never existed. When I was in my 20s however, a bad loss would ruin my weekend. Or in the case of the '92 playoffs...I might still harbor some resentment.

 

[DialUp]

I would hope & pray that most of us in our day to day lives are nothing like our GDT personalities. I can speak for myself & say that I only lose my shit during playoff games. As soon as the game is over, it's like hockey never existed. When I was in my 20s however, a bad loss would ruin my weekend. Or in the case of the '92 playoffs...I might still harbor some resentment.

I am far worse in the wild

 

[SnowblindNYR]

So as an update, she does not pee in the company pool, unfortunately.

I just asked her out for a drink and to cut off everything else not relevant, she said “I don’t think it’s a good idea to hang out with coworkers alone like that.”

feelsbadman.gif

Sorry to hear but that's better than not having the nerve to ask and always wondering.

Imagine accidentally knowing someone from this board in real life without knowing they post here. You go through all the infatuation and early stages of dating, start getting serious and then find out “you’re @Loki Dog 74?? Jesus, you’re a miserable, insane asshole”.

This is why I try to be as anonymous as possible on here. I'd never find a job if my employers knew what I post here.

 

[Kane One]

Sorry to hear but that's better than not having the nerve to ask and always wondering.

Yeah that’s really the only bright side. This is all pretty lame and honestly didn’t see it coming. But that’s life.

The worst part is that I wanted to quit at the holiday party, and then when we hit it off I was like “alright let me give this a shot.” So that kind of made the last month of work not horrible. Now I’m back to square one.

I also asked her out on Microsoft Teams, lol. I was looking online for tips on asking out coworkers in this modern age where some things that were intended to be innocent could be perceived as sexual harassment, and one place said to ask people out through text rather than in person.

So I followed that and now on Tuesday after the holiday, hopefully it’s not awkward between us or anything.

 

[kovazub94]

I would hope & pray that most of us in our day to day lives are nothing like our GDT personalities. I can speak for myself & say that I only lose my shit during playoff games. As soon as the game is over, it's like hockey never existed. When I was in my 20s however, a bad loss would ruin my weekend. Or in the case of the '92 playoffs...I might still harbor some resentment.

You’re actually onto something. When life is “normal” most of us act accordingly but GDT gives an insight into how folks react when things don’t go their way and how much or little of a trigger they need to go off.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Yeah that’s really the only bright side. This is all pretty lame and honestly didn’t see it coming. But that’s life.

The worst part is that I wanted to quit at the holiday party, and then when we hit it off I was like “alright let me give this a shot.” So that kind of made the last month of work not horrible. Now I’m back to square one.

I also asked her out on Microsoft Teams, lol. I was looking online for tips on asking out coworkers in this modern age where some things that were intended to be innocent could be perceived as sexual harassment, and one place said to ask people out through text rather than in person.

So I followed that and now on Tuesday after the holiday, hopefully it’s not awkward between us or anything.

You did the right thing for asking. In most cases the upside > downside.

 

[Leonardo87]

I would hope & pray that most of us in our day to day lives are nothing like our GDT personalities. I can speak for myself & say that I only lose my shit during playoff games. As soon as the game is over, it's like hockey never existed. When I was in my 20s however, a bad loss would ruin my weekend. Or in the case of the '92 playoffs...I might still harbor some resentment.

I’m pretty close to it. I’m pretty laid back, and try and get laughs out of folks, and try and get along, will try and find things to agree with you rather than get into a heated debate. Oh and @DialUp He‘s Craaaaazy… I kid. Cool dude, all the guys were cool to hang with at the meet up. Felt very comfortable. Wish you were able to meet up that night. Gotta try and plan another meet up in March or April.

 

[Boris Zubov]

I’m pretty close to it. I’m pretty laid back, and try and get laughs out of folks, and try and get along, will try and find things to agree with you rather than get into a heated debate. Oh and @DialUp He‘s Craaaaazy… I kid. Cool dude, all the guys were cool to hang with at the meet up. Felt very comfortable. Wish you were able to meet up that night. Gotta try and plan another meet up in March or April.

I'm in for the next one. Looking forward to it.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

I'm glad this thread is popping again. Good thing I bumped it.

You’re actually onto something. When life is “normal” most of us act accordingly but GDT gives an insight into how folks react when things don’t go their way and how much or little of a trigger they need to go off.

You know how when a toddler drops a pencil he/she starts hysterically crying for no reason. That's how a lot of us are about the Rangers. It doesn't make sense that we're so distraught over a group of millionaire strangers hitting the post and losing 3-2 rather than tying it.

 

[will1066]

So much red tape, if it weren't for desperately needing a green card I would be trying to find a wife in Colombia lol. But I need an American

They just need to know your Pizza Hut eating skills and ability to consume 1,000 calories in one sitting. No one within 500 miles can do that. Your continuous business to Pizza Hut may as well be a $500k investment.

 

[Kane One]

Just want to add that although I wouldn’t say asking out a coworker was a bad decision, forming a crush on one was definitely a mistake. But to be fair, no one chooses to form a crush on anyone; it just happens.

But at this point, it’s f***ing torture. And it’s crazy to think how much worse it would be if we were actually going out and eventually broke it off.

 

[Boris Zubov]

Just want to add that although I wouldn’t say asking out a coworker was a bad decision, forming a crush on one was definitely a mistake. But to be fair, no one chooses to form a crush on anyone; it just happens.

But at this point, it’s f***ing torture. And it’s crazy to think how much worse it would be if we were actually going out and eventually broke it off.

Yup....starting the relationship isn't the problem...it's when things go south when you realize how much it sucks. Working with someone who just dumped you...no bueno. Constant, in your face reminder of what you once had, but who no longer has feelings for you is next level torture.

On the flip side, working with someone you dumped is equally brutal...you either can't stand the person & you can't get away from them. Or you still admire & respect the person, but there's constant feelings of guilt & pity. Pick your poison...they both suck.

 

[EdJovanovski]

I’m pretty close to it. I’m pretty laid back, and try and get laughs out of folks, and try and get along, will try and find things to agree with you rather than get into a heated debate. Oh and @DialUp He‘s Craaaaazy… I kid. Cool dude, all the guys were cool to hang with at the meet up. Felt very comfortable. Wish you were able to meet up that night. Gotta try and plan another meet up in March or April.

We need to one day have a meetup where we play hockey & eat Pizza Hut

 

[Leonardo87]

We need to one day have a meetup where we play hockey & eat Pizza Hut

You come to NY, we will open your taste buds up to some NYC style pizza. You’ll never have Pizza Hut again, lol.

As per the hockey, we’ll let you and @Loki Dog 74 duke it up on the rink, lol.

 

[EdJovanovski]

You come to NY, we will open your taste buds up to some NYC style pizza. You’ll never have Pizza Hut again, lol.

As per the hockey, we’ll let you and @Loki Dog 74 duke it up in the rink, lol.

Loki & I will be team captains and draft our teams PE class style. If Team Loki wins we eat NYC style pizza after, if Team Jovo wins we eat Pizza Hut after.

Btw I have been to NYC and had their pizza, it was decent. I like Pizza Hut a lot better though

 

[Leonardo87]

Loki & I will be team captains and draft our teams PE class style. If Team Loki wins we eat NYC style pizza after, if Team Jovo wins we eat Pizza Hut after.

Btw I have been to NYC and had their pizza, it was decent. I like Pizza Hut a lot better though

Not all NYC pizza is good. You have to know where to go. Will lead you to the good stuff.

 

[RempireStateBuilding]

So my girlfriend and I recently-ish broke up after about 2.5 years together, and having moved in together last April. I had posted a few months back about my goings-on and was too depressed to even read through the responses. I appreciate the effort and time people did take to respond, I'll probably actually read through those one day when I'm in a little better space.

But anyway. A lot of our problems stemmed (consciously and subconsciously) from me not wanting/being indecisive about kids. The holidays were a little lonely. Separate Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years since we had essentially broke up at the beginning of December. Glad I had my family and some friends around to vent and provide some much needed company.

It's been a relatively quick turnaround for me thankfully. Definitely not what I expected since I'm usually doom and gloom. I've accepted things ending because I wasn't being truthful with myself 1) about how I really feel/felt about having children, and 2) knowing that, what it meant I probably should have done sooner regarding the relationship. I was holding on to hope that if I kept improving on the things she said were bothering her and we just stuck together and went through with having kids, that I wouldn't have a choice but to go forward and handle things. And I think things would have been fine all said and done, but again not truthful to myself and my own feelings.

While being back on dating apps has been slightly depressing, it has been surprisingly rejuvenating looking through a potential dating pool where one of the biggest deal-breakers is more or less decided on before even speaking.