I read back a few pages and from what I gather and I could be 1000% off base here is that there is a confidence, self esteem issue. I am by no means a psychologist, but I have been through the roller coaster of "WTF do I do now" relationships. Everyone is different, we each find solace in things differently then others do. My escape has always the gym and boxing training. I do this for many reasons and one being my overall heath and self esteem. However, I find that if I feel better about myself that also equates to my confidence. So find something that makes you happy whether its going to the gym, a run, playing sports, etc. It takes your mind off of the stress and it you feel good about yourself in the meantime.
In terms of the dating situation. Men, women, we all over think. We tend to put negative thoughts into our head and try to solve the problem immediately. Sometimes getting the solution works and sometimes it makes the situation worse. After many years of looking to find an immediate solution, I have over the last couple years taken a step back and thought about different ways to approach things and what the outcomes of each path would likely be. Allowing yourself to think clearly after you've taken a moment helps 100 fold. Like I said, I would always seek an immediate solution while I was angry or upset and 99% of the time it made matters worse. Patience and the ability of self control is not something that comes natural for most people and I have learned that. Step away, take a deep breath, occupy yourself with something else for a little while and then reevaluate how you'd like your approach to be. You will find more often then not that it's completely different then your original thought process.