NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE TWENTY-THREE SKIDOO!

[Rebels57]

I hate narratives, I hate cliches, I hate the way players from decades ago are worshipped and overrated, even when they're clearly nothing special relative to modern talents.

"Clarke is the best Flyer of all time!" No the f*** he isn't.

You know who else is painfully overrated? Spited Forward Wayne Gretzky.

He is not the best player of all time, he is not the most dominant player among the 4 major sports, he is not worthy of the praise he's given. Average, at best. Maybe a bottom six player in the current NHL, but only if he learns to fight.

Here's a list of 2023 players who would outscore Gretzky if they played back in the no-skill/no-athleticism/no-goaltending era, and would skate circles around him if he played in the current NHL.

McDavid
Draisaitl
Kucherov
M. Tkachuk
Pastrnak
MacKinnon
Robertson
RNH
Rantanen
Petterson
Karlsson
J. Hughes
Marner
Thompson
Point
Panarin
Crosby
Zibanejad
Stutzle
Keller
Nylander
Hyman
Malkin
Matthews
Stamkos
B. Tkachuk
Connor
Larkin
Hischier
Miller
Tavares
Skinner
Pavelski
Barkov
Ovechkin
Kaprizov
Tuch
Benn
Giroux
Hamilton
Q. Hughes
Kyrou
Toffoli
Nelson
Fiala
Dahlin
Kuzmenko
Guenzel
Gaudreau
Morrisey
Montour
Fox
Verhaeghe
Hintz
Bratt
Necas
Kopitar
Heiskanen
Horvat
Cozens
Zuccarello
McCann
Couture
Buchnevich
Makar
Meier
Aho
Eichel
Scheifele
Reinhart
DeBrincat
Schenn
Dunn
Suzuki
Lindholm
Marchand
Thomas
Stephenson
Trocheck
Boldy
Hagel
Dubois
Killorn
Eriksson Ek
Eberle
Kempe
Zegras
Hertl
Batherson
Strome
Sergachev
Josi
Rakell
Bergeron
Terry
Burns
Konecny
Marchessault
Beniers
Duchene
Player
Krejci
Mercer
Arvidsson
Svechnikov
Kane
Domi
Perron
Kadri
Schmaltz
Backlund
Boeser
Wheeler
Huberdeau
Barrie
Kuznetsov
Kreider
Danault
Zacha
Mittelstadt
Pietrangelo
Reilly Smith
Laine
Karlsson
Barzal
Lindholm
Compher
McAvoy
Lee
Lehkonen
Andersson
Doughty
Zucker
DeBrusk
Tarasenko
Bunting
Seguin
Barabanov
Faulk
Rust
Gourde
Maccelli
Hedman
Jenner
Chytil
Kubalik
Raymond
Crouse
Tatar
Nichushkin
Barbashev
Dobson
Roslovic
Cam Fowler
Sprong
Frost
Dube
Luostarinen
Coyle
Garland
Nurse
Toews
Forsberg
Bjorkstrand
Laughton
Hayton
Johansson
McTavish
Copp
Miller
Seider
Vilardi
Novak
Forsling
Chabot
Granlund
Theodore
Mangiapane
Bennett
Kotkaniemi
Johnson
Rielly
Schwartz
Vatrano
Beauvillier
Kakko
Lafrenière
Burakovsky
Haula
Letang
Hronek
Gustafsson
Olofsson
Niederreiter
Coleman
Stone
Dach
Pageau
... and many more

@Magua please proceed

I know its mostly schtick, but this shit is so stupid for so many different reasons lol

 

[BiggE]

Great actress, great write up, pick again as she is spoken for

Motherf***er

Ok how about a nice Canadian girl, welcome to Jacksonville, MARY PICKFORD!

Gladys Marie Smith (April 8, 1892 – May 29, 1979), known professionally as Mary Pickford, was a Canadian-American stage and screen actress and producer with a career that spanned five decades. A pioneer in the US film industry, she co-founded Pickford–Fairbanks Studios and United Artists, and was one of the 36 founders of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Pickford is considered to be one of the most recognisable women in history.

Known as "America's Sweetheart" during the silent film era, she is named on the list of the AFI's 100 Years...100 Stars as the 24th top female star from the Classical Hollywood Cinema era and the "girl with the curls".

Pickford was one of the Canadian pioneers in early Hollywood and a significant figure in the development of film acting. She was one of the earliest stars to be billed under her own name,and was one of the most popular actresses of the 1910s and 1920s, earning the nickname "Queen of the Movies". She is credited with having defined the ingénue type in cinema.

She was awarded the second Academy Award for Best Actress for her first sound film role in Coquette (1929). By the late 1920s Pickford's career went into decline. She received an Academy Honorary Award in 1976 in consideration of her contributions to American cinema.

 

[Striiker]

I know its mostly schtick, but this shit is so stupid for so many different reasons lol

 

[Rebels57]

 

[ajgoal]

I watched the original "Fist of Fury" (1972) last night. I was super happy to see that it held up to my expectations (I'm sure I've seen it before, but it has been forever). The fighting - and there was a shitload of it - was so good. Bruce Lee really was the best of them all by far. The one thing I had forgotten came from him was all the screaming and all the noise he made while fighting. You know how kids always make those sounds when they are playing kung fu? That shit really makes for a great Bruce Lee impersonation, because he was on it non-stop.

The other thing I was super gratified to see was that the Wing Chu style he used was basically exactly the way a mongoose fights a cobra - it is literally Mongoose Style. You probably expect me to justify that and explain how mongooses fight, but I'm not going to - when you know, you know. Mongooses even chirp when they fight, so you could say that Bruce Lee was doing a mongoose impersonation when he kicked ass. That is pretty f***ing sweet.

Proud Whaler

 

[Magua]

The Honolulu Ghibli throw into the baboon furnace our next Spite Player.......Keith Yandle (D)

Agree with this one, Kev? I have a higher tolerance than most for horrible players trying their best -- I can't get worked up to actually boo at anything, memes and shitposting aside. I don't detest trash players on a human level just because they suck. And they do suck, and I hate their suck. But they're trying their best, they didn't offer themselves a contract, yada yada. I'm an adult (vaguely) with empathy.

Keith Yandle is not one of those people. He was the poop cherry on top of the most miserable era of Flyers hockey. Imagine believing this schmuck was better than Gostisbehere, or that he'd contribute to Culture™. He was a selfish, hollow record chasing douche wanting to yuck it up with his BFF. Saying he phoned in his minutes would be giving him too much credit. It was one of the most shameless efforts I've ever seen. And then he had the audacity to have his chucklehead friends whine to the media about his asterisks streak ending. Quid pro quo, I guess, as he whined about Hayes' benchings this season. It's very easy to forget stop-gap bad players on bad teams. I won't forget this guy. F*** you and f*** your iron man streak that didn't even last 8 months.

 

[Lord Defect]

I guess I’m up

He said up
View attachment 683878

Another fine example of Methgators Nation, yay us. Moving right along, please welcome to Jacksonville, our most awesome classic actress: INGRID BERGMAN!
View attachment 683879
Ingrid Bergman 29 August 1915 – 29 August 1982) was a Swedish actress who starred in a variety of European and American films, television movies, and plays.With a career spanning five decades, she is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history.
According to the St. James Encyclopedia of Popular Culture, upon her arrival in the U.S. Bergman quickly became "the ideal of American womanhood" and a contender for Hollywood's greatest leading actress. David O. Selznickonce called her "the most completely conscientious actress" he had ever worked with. In 1999, the American Film Institute recognised Bergman as the fourth greatest female screen legend of Classic Hollywood Cinema.
She won numerous accolades, including three Academy Awards, two Primetime Emmy Awards, a Tony Award, four Golden Globe Awards, BAFTA Award and a Volpi Cup. She is one of only four actresses to have received at least three acting Academy Awards (only Katharine Hepburn has four).
Born in Stockholm to a Swedish father and a German mother, Bergman began her acting career in Swedish and German films. Her introduction to the U.S. audience came in the English-language remake of Intermezzo (1939). Known for her naturally luminous beauty, she starred in Casablanca (1942) as Ilsa Lund, her most famous role, opposite Humphrey Bogart.
View attachment 683880
Bergman's notable performances in the 1940s include the dramas For Whom the Bell Tolls(1943), Gaslight (1944), The Bells of St. Mary's(1945), and Joan of Arc (1948), all of which earned her nominations for the Academy Award for Best Actress; she won for Gaslight. She made three films with Alfred Hitchcock: Spellbound(1945), with Gregory Peck, Notorious (1946), opposite Cary Grant and Under Capricorn(1949), alongside Joseph Cotten.
In 1950, she starred in Roberto Rossellini's Stromboli, released after the revelation that she was having an affair with Rossellini; that and her pregnancy prior to their marriage created a scandal in the U.S. that prompted her to remain in Europe for several years. During this time she starred in Rossellini's Europa '51 and Journey to Italy (1954), now critically acclaimed, the former of which won her the Volpi Cup for Best Actress. She had a successful return to working for a Hollywood studio in Anastasia (1956), winning her second Academy Award for Best Actress. Soon after, she co-starred with Grant in the romance Indiscreet (1958). In 1969, she starred in the acclaimed and highly successful film Cactus Flower. In later years, Bergman won her third Academy Award, this one for Best Supporting Actress, for her role in Murder on the Orient Express (1974). In 1978, she starred in Ingmar Bergman's (no relation) Swedish Autumn Sonata receiving her sixth Best Actress nomination. Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.
In her final role, she portrayed the late Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir in the television miniseries A Woman Called Golda (1982) for which she posthumously won her second Emmy Award for Best Actress. In 1974, Bergman discovered she was suffering from breast cancer but continued to work until shortly before her death on her sixty-seventh birthday.

The Germans wore gray, @Striiker wore blue. Play it again, kid.

Wasn’t that hitlers wife? She’s got an awfully German name.

I hate narratives, I hate cliches, I hate the way players from decades ago are worshipped and overrated, even when they're clearly nothing special relative to modern talents.

"Clarke is the best Flyer of all time!" No the f*** he isn't.

You know who else is painfully overrated? Spited Forward Wayne Gretzky.

He is not the best player of all time, he is not the most dominant player among the 4 major sports, he is not worthy of the praise he's given. Average, at best. Maybe a bottom six player in the current NHL, but only if he learns to fight.

Here's a list of 2023 players who would outscore Gretzky if they played back in the no-skill/no-athleticism/no-goaltending era, and would skate circles around him if he played in the current NHL.

McDavid
Draisaitl
Kucherov
M. Tkachuk
Pastrnak
MacKinnon
Robertson
RNH
Rantanen
Petterson
Karlsson
J. Hughes
Marner
Thompson
Point
Panarin
Crosby
Zibanejad
Stutzle
Keller
Nylander
Hyman
Malkin
Matthews
Stamkos
B. Tkachuk
Connor
Larkin
Hischier
Miller
Tavares
Skinner
Pavelski
Barkov
Ovechkin
Kaprizov
Tuch
Benn
Giroux
Hamilton
Q. Hughes
Kyrou
Toffoli
Nelson
Fiala
Dahlin
Kuzmenko
Guenzel
Gaudreau
Morrisey
Montour
Fox
Verhaeghe
Hintz
Bratt
Necas
Kopitar
Heiskanen
Horvat
Cozens
Zuccarello
McCann
Couture
Buchnevich
Makar
Meier
Aho
Eichel
Scheifele
Reinhart
DeBrincat
Schenn
Dunn
Suzuki
Lindholm
Marchand
Thomas
Stephenson
Trocheck
Boldy
Hagel
Dubois
Killorn
Eriksson Ek
Eberle
Kempe
Zegras
Hertl
Batherson
Strome
Sergachev
Josi
Rakell
Bergeron
Terry
Burns
Konecny
Marchessault
Beniers
Duchene
Player
Krejci
Mercer
Arvidsson
Svechnikov
Kane
Domi
Perron
Kadri
Schmaltz
Backlund
Boeser
Wheeler
Huberdeau
Barrie
Kuznetsov
Kreider
Danault
Zacha
Mittelstadt
Pietrangelo
Reilly Smith
Laine
Karlsson
Barzal
Lindholm
Compher
McAvoy
Lee
Lehkonen
Andersson
Doughty
Zucker
DeBrusk
Tarasenko
Bunting
Seguin
Barabanov
Faulk
Rust
Gourde
Maccelli
Hedman
Jenner
Chytil
Kubalik
Raymond
Crouse
Tatar
Nichushkin
Barbashev
Dobson
Roslovic
Cam Fowler
Sprong
Frost
Dube
Luostarinen
Coyle
Garland
Nurse
Toews
Forsberg
Bjorkstrand
Laughton
Hayton
Johansson
McTavish
Copp
Miller
Seider
Vilardi
Novak
Forsling
Chabot
Granlund
Theodore
Mangiapane
Bennett
Kotkaniemi
Johnson
Rielly
Schwartz
Vatrano
Beauvillier
Kakko
Lafrenière
Burakovsky
Haula
Letang
Hronek
Gustafsson
Olofsson
Niederreiter
Coleman
Stone
Dach
Pageau
... and many more

@Magua please proceed

Why’s you gotta pick my guy? And how is Tim Thomas going to our score him?

 

[Rebels57]

Wasn’t that hitlers wife? She’s got an awfully German name.


Why’s you gotta pick my guy? And how is Tim Thomas going to our score him?

Lol ..jesus..no ..Ingrid Bergman was not Hitler's wife

 

[pit]

So apparently I'm doing this wrong by picking pure douchebags instead of players to handicap against. Well, I'm probably going to keep doing it wrong except this pick who can actually play hockey but is a giant whining suckbaby.

I'm building from the net out but I'm skipping a defender to lock down a generational bitc...centre.

Spite Player (centre) - Mario Lemieux

@GKJ , super pick, right?

 

[GKJ]

Spite goaltender - Dominik Hasek

Those 90's Buffalo Sabres, I did not like them.

@ajgoal

 

[mja]

Spite goaltender - Dominik Hasek

View attachment 684446

Those 90's Buffalo Sabres, I did not like them.

@ajgoal

f*** off. Will you kindly stop sniping me? Thanks in advance.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Motherf***er

Ok how about a nice Canadian girl, welcome to Jacksonville, MARY PICKFORD!
View attachment 683970
Gladys Marie Smith (April 8, 1892 – May 29, 1979), known professionally as Mary Pickford, was a Canadian-American stage and screen actress and producer with a career that spanned five decades. A pioneer in the US film industry, she co-founded Pickford–Fairbanks Studios and United Artists, and was one of the 36 founders of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Pickford is considered to be one of the most recognisable women in history.

Known as "America's Sweetheart" during the silent film era, she is named on the list of the AFI's 100 Years...100 Stars as the 24th top female star from the Classical Hollywood Cinema era and the "girl with the curls".

Pickford was one of the Canadian pioneers in early Hollywood and a significant figure in the development of film acting. She was one of the earliest stars to be billed under her own name,and was one of the most popular actresses of the 1910s and 1920s, earning the nickname "Queen of the Movies". She is credited with having defined the ingénue type in cinema.

She was awarded the second Academy Award for Best Actress for her first sound film role in Coquette (1929). By the late 1920s Pickford's career went into decline. She received an Academy Honorary Award in 1976 in consideration of her contributions to American cinema.

Didn't I draft her in a past round? Or did I just heavily consider it? I have no idea

 

[ajgoal]

Wasn’t that hitlers wife? She’s got an awfully German name.

You cease to amaze me.

 

[Asnito]

So apparently I'm doing this wrong by picking pure douchebags instead of players to handicap against. Well, I'm probably going to keep doing it wrong except this pick who can actually play hockey but is a giant whining suckbaby.

I'm building from the net out but I'm skipping a defender to lock down a generational bitc...centre.

Spite Player (centre) - Mario Lemieux
View attachment 684440

@GKJ , super pick, right?

Spite C
View attachment 682499
Mario Lemieux

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Looks like several people decided that Saturday was Bring Your Defect to the Quackverse Day.

I have ajgoal's pick, so after I post that we start the day with @Young Sandwich on the clock, @Asnito on deck, @Strawberry Fields on the lido deck, and mja on the lido afterdeck with a pair to send us back up the order. Rebel has to make up his pick, pit has to replace Stupor Mario, who was chosen by Asnito, and Milord has to wash out his brain with soap or acid or some f***ing thing.

I watched "SPL: Kill Zone" (2005) last night. It's another Donnie Yen joint, and let me tell you this - it is a prototypical badass Hong Kong police bashfest. It's textbook stuff for the top of that genre, and it rules so hard. Donnie kicks so much ass so hard. The legend Sammo Hung is all fat as can be, but you should see this motherf***er fight - it defies physics. And then there is another guy, like a knife assassin for the gang, who is an evil badass.

When I read about this movie, they called it "brutal" - it is that and then some. Totally unsentimental (except for the handful of cheesy moments without which it wouldn't be a Hong Kong thriller), and the ending is unbelievable. It is awesome.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@ajgoal's pick:

"Well, if we're just going to toss people in the musher...

Screw this guy, and all of the others he was with. Second worst "comedy" of the 90s after Seinfeld.

Spite Hockey Player #1: Matt Leblanc (D)"

@Young Sandwich

 

[pit]

View attachment 684557

Oh damn it, I was looking at the centre row for centres, which was obviously the wrong way to do it. Sorry.

I'll go back to my old pattern of just showering spite on the deserving.

Check out this bag of **cks.

Spite F; Dale Hunter

 

[Rebels57]

@ajgoal's pick:

"Well, if we're just going to toss people in the musher...

Screw this guy, and all of the others he was with. Second worst "comedy" of the 90s after Seinfeld.

Spite Hockey Player #1: Matt Leblanc (D)"

@Young Sandwich

Imagine not liking Seinfeld.

 

[Young Sandwich]

Pick coming shortly. Doing some zombie Jesus stuff.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Imagine not liking Seinfeld.

It's crazy. Almost as crazy as you refusing to make your pick.

 

[Young Sandwich]

Team Spite F - Sean Avery

Feel free to spit on him any time you want @Asnito

 

[Beef Invictus]

Friends and Scrubs are the two worst TV shows ever made, and that says a lot because most TV shows every made are garbage.

 

[Rebels57]

FOG Spite D - Bryan Marchment

One of the dirtiest players ever. He earned the nickname Mush because he turned opponents knees into mush.

Here is a clip of karmic justice.

 

[Lord Defect]

FOG Spite D - Bryan Marchment

View attachment 684618


One of the dirtiest players ever. He earned the nickname Mush because he turned opponents knees into mush.

Here is a clip of karmic justice.

What the f*** happened?

 

[Rebels57]

What the f*** happened?

When head first into the penalty box door frame while Guy Carbonneau was coming out of the box

Marchment must have done this hit below over 100 times