I am extremely disappointed in myself. I thought and thought about who I could possibly loathe enough to make my first pick here when the answer should have been obvious.
Spite: Gene Simmons
The only piece of Simmons media I'm willing to post is that picture of him after a face lift. With some people in this Spite subsection, I will be highlighting what it is that bothers me about them. In this case, there is not a positive to be found.
KISS's music is the the peak of artless excess for the sake of it, tacitly targeted to the tottering boars too dimwitted to think to find anything better. Somehow Simmons manages to take this limpid sheen of production and apply it to his personality. The man's life is devoted to being an asshole. Here's a tiny sampling:
- "For a putz 20-year-old kid to say, 'I'm depressed. I live in Seattle.' [Screw] you, then [end your life]. I never understand, because I always call them on their bluff. I'm the guy who says 'Jump' when there's a guy on top of a building who says, 'That's it, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to jump.' Are you kidding? Why are you announcing it? Shut ... up, have some dignity and jump! You've got the crowd."
- The man sold "Air Guitar Strings" at one point. Yes, bags of air.
- He claimed he invented the devil horns hand gesture and tried to trademark it.
- During off-nights on the upcoming Kiss tour, Simmons, who claims to be “the world’s biggest asshole,” will take over a club, where only true assholes will be admitted. “No fakers allowed,” says the fifty-four-year-old rocker. “And, of course, once you come in, you’ll be given a certificate which will certify that you’re a real asshole.” -- Rolling Stone 2004
My only two options were to keep this brief and rant for multiple pages.
@Striiker shouldn't have to wait for Gene ****ing Simmons.
