NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

Hurricane28

Angry Flyers STH/Weather Guy
Aug 22, 2012
9,217
9,189
South Jersey
I think she has absolutely no talent. Her music sucks. I hate seeing her everywhere. Knew right away who I wanted to pick.

Cardi B for vocals

Im not gonna link any of her music because A. you already know it or B. You're lucky enough not to and I won't make you sit through vocal garbage.
 

Young Sandwich

Trout & Hockey
Sponsor
Dec 13, 2015
5,821
20,191
Outerspace
I think she has absolutely no talent. Her music sucks. I hate seeing her everywhere. Knew right away who I wanted to pick.

Cardi B for vocals

Im not gonna link any of her music because A. you already know it or B. You're lucky enough not to and I won't make you sit through vocal garbage.

CardiGif.gif
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,576
201,323
Tokyo, JP
Actually cap, can I PM you my spite picks for you to write up. I’m sure you will hate them as much as I do and will do they justice with your rage.

It's probably not a good idea, since there might be some overlap with who I want, but you don't have to do write-ups - you can just post your picks and I'll shit on them, same as always.
 

Hollywood Cannon

I'm Away From My Desk
Jul 17, 2007
88,057
159,996
South Jersey
I think she has absolutely no talent. Her music sucks. I hate seeing her everywhere. Knew right away who I wanted to pick.

Cardi B for vocals

Im not gonna link any of her music because A. you already know it or B. You're lucky enough not to and I won't make you sit through vocal garbage.
I’m still high from walking by her at the Super Bowl almost three years ago now. Imagine going out into public smelling like that and just being totally cool with it.
 

mja

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt
Jan 7, 2005
12,730
29,423
Lucy the Elephant's Belly
eric-lindros-scott-stevens-hit-concussionjpg.jpg


I could have easily picked [Ranch]. I was 10 and I cut my die-hard hockey fan teeth on that magical season. When it all ended, I was crushed, and I still remember standing outside my house, up on my neighbor's camper, with him holding a homemade sign up: "We love you anyway!" as passing cars honked their horns. But I was still young enough that I didn't realize that to be a Philadelphia sports fan is a curse. I still had hope.

That's why it's this exact moment above that truly crushed me. I was working nights, and in order to watch the game I had to bring a portable TV into work. The screen was smaller than on some phones today and the picture was in black and white. It was at this moment that I realized there would be no dynasty - as I was promised when we went out and got Lindros - that there wouldn't even be a cup. I went home that night after work and couldn't sleep, just replaying this moment over in my head again and again.

@pit
 

ajgoal

Almost always never serious
Jun 29, 2015
9,843
28,579
eric-lindros-scott-stevens-hit-concussionjpg.jpg


I could have easily picked [Ranch]. I was 10 and I cut my die-hard hockey fan teeth on that magical season. When it all ended, I was crushed, and I still remember standing outside my house, up on my neighbor's camper, with him holding a homemade sign up: "We love you anyway!" as passing cars honked their horns. But I was still young enough that I didn't realize that to be a Philadelphia sports fan is a curse. I still had hope.

That's why it's this exact moment above that truly crushed me. I was working nights, and in order to watch the game I had to bring a portable TV into work. The screen was smaller than on some phones today and the picture was in black and white. It was at this moment that I realized there would be no dynasty - as I was promised when we went out and got Lindros - that there wouldn't even be a cup. I went home that night after work and couldn't sleep, just replaying this moment over in my head again and again.

@pit

This was a close second for me. Terrible pick.
 

pit

5th Most Improved Poster
Jun 25, 2005
5,145
20,920
Toronto
While GM Doug isolated at home, it's time for me to personally step in. I can't hide behind a GM for the monstrosity I am about to unleash on the world. I have a plan, but the best part is there are so many options and permutations for how this anthropomorphic barrel of pig vomit could exist it's virtually impossible to snipe. Sure, it could become less caustic, but it will still be about as vile as being in charge of full body oiling up and massaging a naked Brent Flahr before servicing him (from underneath).

To start this monstrosity off, I give you what I would have considered a chalk pick for this kind of draft. Undoubtedly unavoidably one of the worst there is. And before you point to more recent examples, just know that 50 gallons of douchery in a 5 gallon bucket marred two excellent genres with his "musical" talent and spawned hordes of fitted ballcap asshat fans in the late 90s/early 2000s that stained our social fabric indelibly. In addition to the sonic assault he relentlessly waged, this waste of skin tried and failed to generate interest in his pathethic self by fake releasing a sex tape, taunted security guards trying to help fans during one of their shows (one of whom later died) and tried to get a Russian passport in 2015, stating Putin was "a great guy with clear moral principles and a nice person."

I don't know how I haven't chewed off my own fingers and voided through my bowels in disgust at typing this much about this jagoff.

The Chimpanzees are less than pleased to select Fred Durst.


1201f4360b6e40679bf9de9076f9325a_md.jpg




Spite member - Fred Durst

@BiggE , half of your team's fans probably still crank this spoogebasin's music, but I don't apologize for insulting them.
 

Young Sandwich

Trout & Hockey
Sponsor
Dec 13, 2015
5,821
20,191
Outerspace
While GM Doug isolated at home, it's time for me to personally step in. I can't hide behind a GM for the monstrosity I am about to unleash on the world. I have a plan, but the best part is there are so many options and permutations for how this anthropomorphic barrel of pig vomit could exist it's virtually impossible to snipe. Sure, it could become less caustic, but it will still be about as vile as being in charge of full body oiling up and massaging a naked Brent Flahr before servicing him (from underneath).

To start this monstrosity off, I give you what I would have considered a chalk pick for this kind of draft. Undoubtedly unavoidably one of the worst there is. And before you point to more recent examples, just know that 50 gallons of douchery in a 5 gallon bucket marred two excellent genres with his "musical" talent and spawned hordes of fitted ballcap asshat fans in the late 90s/early 2000s that stained our social fabric indelibly. In addition to the sonic assault he relentlessly waged, this waste of skin tried and failed to generate interest in his pathethic self by fake releasing a sex tape, taunted security guards trying to help fans during one of their shows (one of whom later died) and tried to get a Russian passport in 2015, stating Putin was "a great guy with clear moral principles and a nice person."

I don't know how I haven't chewed off my own fingers and voided through my bowels in disgust at typing this much about this jagoff.

The Chimpanzees are less than pleased to select Fred Durst.


1201f4360b6e40679bf9de9076f9325a_md.jpg




Spite member - Fred Durst

@BiggE , half of your team's fans probably still crank this spoogebasin's music, but I don't apologize for insulting them.

Dammit. At least he's getting tortured either way.
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,576
201,323
Tokyo, JP
Dammit. At least he's getting tortured either way.

We had this alternative station that started in St. Louis in like ... it was either 1994 or 1996. It was awesome and played all the right kinds of bands. And then in like 1999 or so, it suddenly started playing all that nü rock bullshit and I was like "Wut?" I had no idea what was happening. And it just kept going and going. Who the f*** would sit there and listen to f***ing [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]? F***ing weirdos.

 

DancingPanther

Foundational Titan
Jun 19, 2018
33,775
72,008
While GM Doug isolated at home, it's time for me to personally step in. I can't hide behind a GM for the monstrosity I am about to unleash on the world. I have a plan, but the best part is there are so many options and permutations for how this anthropomorphic barrel of pig vomit could exist it's virtually impossible to snipe. Sure, it could become less caustic, but it will still be about as vile as being in charge of full body oiling up and massaging a naked Brent Flahr before servicing him (from underneath).

To start this monstrosity off, I give you what I would have considered a chalk pick for this kind of draft. Undoubtedly unavoidably one of the worst there is. And before you point to more recent examples, just know that 50 gallons of douchery in a 5 gallon bucket marred two excellent genres with his "musical" talent and spawned hordes of fitted ballcap asshat fans in the late 90s/early 2000s that stained our social fabric indelibly. In addition to the sonic assault he relentlessly waged, this waste of skin tried and failed to generate interest in his pathethic self by fake releasing a sex tape, taunted security guards trying to help fans during one of their shows (one of whom later died) and tried to get a Russian passport in 2015, stating Putin was "a great guy with clear moral principles and a nice person."

I don't know how I haven't chewed off my own fingers and voided through my bowels in disgust at typing this much about this jagoff.

The Chimpanzees are less than pleased to select Fred Durst.


1201f4360b6e40679bf9de9076f9325a_md.jpg




Spite member - Fred Durst

@BiggE , half of your team's fans probably still crank this spoogebasin's music, but I don't apologize for insulting them.

You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear em argue over who she gave head to first
 

Young Sandwich

Trout & Hockey
Sponsor
Dec 13, 2015
5,821
20,191
Outerspace
We had this alternative station that started in St. Louis in like ... it was either 1994 or 1996. It was awesome and played all the right kind of bands. And then in like 1999 or so, it suddenly started playing all that nü rock bullshit and I was like "Wut?" I had no idea what was happening. And it just kept going and going. Who the f*** would sit there and listen to f***ing [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]? F***ing weirdos.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ü
There were stations all around the country pulling the same exact shit. It was a true crime against humanity. Like @pit said, it spawned a generation of douchebags that just didn't know any better. What a shame.
 

mja

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt
Jan 7, 2005
12,730
29,423
Lucy the Elephant's Belly
While GM Doug isolated at home, it's time for me to personally step in. I can't hide behind a GM for the monstrosity I am about to unleash on the world. I have a plan, but the best part is there are so many options and permutations for how this anthropomorphic barrel of pig vomit could exist it's virtually impossible to snipe. Sure, it could become less caustic, but it will still be about as vile as being in charge of full body oiling up and massaging a naked Brent Flahr before servicing him (from underneath).

To start this monstrosity off, I give you what I would have considered a chalk pick for this kind of draft. Undoubtedly unavoidably one of the worst there is. And before you point to more recent examples, just know that 50 gallons of douchery in a 5 gallon bucket marred two excellent genres with his "musical" talent and spawned hordes of fitted ballcap asshat fans in the late 90s/early 2000s that stained our social fabric indelibly. In addition to the sonic assault he relentlessly waged, this waste of skin tried and failed to generate interest in his pathethic self by fake releasing a sex tape, taunted security guards trying to help fans during one of their shows (one of whom later died) and tried to get a Russian passport in 2015, stating Putin was "a great guy with clear moral principles and a nice person."

I don't know how I haven't chewed off my own fingers and voided through my bowels in disgust at typing this much about this jagoff.

The Chimpanzees are less than pleased to select Fred Durst.


1201f4360b6e40679bf9de9076f9325a_md.jpg




Spite member - Fred Durst

@BiggE , half of your team's fans probably still crank this spoogebasin's music, but I don't apologize for insulting them.


I almost sniped you on this. It was either Lindros getting crushed or this asshole.
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,576
201,323
Tokyo, JP
There were stations all around the country pulling the same exact shit. It was a true crime against humanity. Like @pit said, it spawned a generation of douchebags that just didn't know any better. What a shame.

And it was right as the structure of the music industry was disintegrating, so it felt like the apocalypse.
 

Rebels57

HFBoards Sponsor
Sponsor
Sep 28, 2014
78,066
125,450
We had this alternative station that started in St. Louis in like ... it was either 1994 or 1996. It was awesome and played all the right kinds of bands. And then in like 1999 or so, it suddenly started playing all that nü rock bullshit and I was like "Wut?" I had no idea what was happening. And it just kept going and going. Who the f*** would sit there and listen to f***ing [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]? F***ing weirdos.

Yeah man, the late 90's garbage rock is what sent me towards underground Hip-Hop where I stayed almost exclusively until 2004 or so.
 

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