NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

[mja]

I know football isn’t something that interests many people here, but no matter what happens in the rest of my life, this will never be topped.

My favorite thing in football is the defensive side of the ball. Going into 1991, the Eagles had an absolutely incredible defense. I was of a perfect age to be as overly-invested as possible. We had season tickets. Unfortunately, the Eagles’ entire plan on offense was to hope Randall Cunningham could make a play. Cunningham was coming off of a streak in which finished 2nd in MVP voting twice in the last 3 seasons. They finally invested into the offensive line to help him. They drafted two more excellent defenders in the ‘91 draft. Everything was set up for this to be the year it finally came together. Then came the first play of the 2nd Quarter of the first game. Bryce Paup went low on Randall Cunningham, tore his ACL, and ended the season.

Heartbreaking Moment: **** Bryce Paup

I still haven’t seen that hit a second time. I’m not risking that to pull a clip.

The particularly cruel bit here that is key to the story is that the 1991 Eagles turned out to have the best single season by a defense in the modern history of the NFL. Lest you think this is an exaggeration, here’s a quote from the top tier football analytics site Football Outsiders:



As much fun as that season was as a fan of defense first, you could never quite enjoy it as much as you should because you knew none of it mattered. I’m not home to take a picture, but I have a 1991 Eagles defensive playbook hanging on the wall of my office. Short of the dogs, that’s the first thing I’m grabbing in case of a fire.

@Strawberry Fields Sports are bad. Why do we do this?

Was on my list. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I still remember watching that moment sitting on my living room floor, and I was just crushed by it. Completely numb.

That would have been the last year you had relatively clear sailing too, because the next year the Cowboys started their run. And [redacted], of course. What a shitty thing for you guys (not sarcasm).

Not joking around this time, but that last bit is a legit pick tip, and was also way up high on my list. I still remember where I was when I first heard the news - at my cousins' house, playing in the street. Just f***ing awful.

Both of these were core childhood sports traumas.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Was on my list. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I still remember watching that moment sitting on my living room floor, and I was just crushed by it. Completely numb.



Not joking around this time, but that last bit is a legit pick tip, and was also way up high on my list. I still remember where I was when I first heard the news - at my cousins' house, playing in the street. Just f***ing awful.

Both of these were core childhood sports traumas.

Sorry lol - for one thing, it's almost impossible to say anything without pick-tipping something at this point, and for another thing, your list is 2000 f***ing miles long and has everything on it, so anything anyone says is going to pick-tip you.

 

[ajgoal]

Who here hasn't downloaded a ton of .poo files?

I'll keep this shorter and sweeter. Team Hill to Die On: Golgotha.

@CanadianFlyer88

 

[ajgoal]

I know football isn’t something that interests many people here, but no matter what happens in the rest of my life, this will never be topped.

My favorite thing in football is the defensive side of the ball. Going into 1991, the Eagles had an absolutely incredible defense. I was of a perfect age to be as overly-invested as possible. We had season tickets. Unfortunately, the Eagles’ entire plan on offense was to hope Randall Cunningham could make a play. Cunningham was coming off of a streak in which finished 2nd in MVP voting twice in the last 3 seasons. They finally invested into the offensive line to help him. They drafted two more excellent defenders in the ‘91 draft. Everything was set up for this to be the year it finally came together. Then came the first play of the 2nd Quarter of the first game. Bryce Paup went low on Randall Cunningham, tore his ACL, and ended the season.

Heartbreaking Moment: **** Bryce Paup

I still haven’t seen that hit a second time. I’m not risking that to pull a clip.

The particularly cruel bit here that is key to the story is that the 1991 Eagles turned out to have the best single season by a defense in the modern history of the NFL. Lest you think this is an exaggeration, here’s a quote from the top tier football analytics site Football Outsiders:



As much fun as that season was as a fan of defense first, you could never quite enjoy it as much as you should because you knew none of it mattered. I’m not home to take a picture, but I have a 1991 Eagles defensive playbook hanging on the wall of my office. Short of the dogs, that’s the first thing I’m grabbing in case of a fire.

@Strawberry Fields Sports are bad. Why do we do this?

Yeah, this one hurt. He was my quarterback.

 

[ajgoal]

Was on my list. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I still remember watching that moment sitting on my living room floor, and I was just crushed by it. Completely numb.



Not joking around this time, but that last bit is a legit pick tip, and was also way up high on my list. I still remember where I was when I first heard the news - at my cousins' house, playing in the street. Just f***ing awful.

Both of these were core childhood sports traumas.

I was at pre-freshman football camp when we got the news. The lunch chatter just evaporated, and we had a hard time concentrating on drills in the afternoon.

 

[mja]

Sorry lol - for one thing, it's almost impossible to say anything without pick-tipping something at this point, and for another thing, your list is 2000 f***ing miles long and has everything on it, so anything anyone says is going to pick-tip you.

In my defense, I usually have about 3-5 things for a category, and only occasionally I'll have more than that come to mind, but the list for this particular category is quite literally 2,000 miles long. Why the hell was I born a Philadelphia sports fan?

 

[BernieParent]

This post was fun enough without a shred of context.

 

[Asnito]

I know football isn’t something that interests many people here, but no matter what happens in the rest of my life, this will never be topped.

My favorite thing in football is the defensive side of the ball. Going into 1991, the Eagles had an absolutely incredible defense. I was of a perfect age to be as overly-invested as possible. We had season tickets. Unfortunately, the Eagles’ entire plan on offense was to hope Randall Cunningham could make a play. Cunningham was coming off of a streak in which finished 2nd in MVP voting twice in the last 3 seasons. They finally invested into the offensive line to help him. They drafted two more excellent defenders in the ‘91 draft. Everything was set up for this to be the year it finally came together. Then came the first play of the 2nd Quarter of the first game. Bryce Paup went low on Randall Cunningham, tore his ACL, and ended the season.

Heartbreaking Moment: **** Bryce Paup

I still haven’t seen that hit a second time. I’m not risking that to pull a clip.

The particularly cruel bit here that is key to the story is that the 1991 Eagles turned out to have the best single season by a defense in the modern history of the NFL. Lest you think this is an exaggeration, here’s a quote from the top tier football analytics site Football Outsiders:



As much fun as that season was as a fan of defense first, you could never quite enjoy it as much as you should because you knew none of it mattered. I’m not home to take a picture, but I have a 1991 Eagles defensive playbook hanging on the wall of my office. Short of the dogs, that’s the first thing I’m grabbing in case of a fire.

@Strawberry Fields Sports are bad. Why do we do this?

I remember that season well. I loathed Buddy Ryan and told everyone that the defense would be better. First year under Bud Carson and they were lights out.

"They supplied the house we supplied the pain"

 

[Asnito]

That was also Gibbs’ last great Washington team and the random year Mark Rypien decided to go bananas, so it would have been tough. But possible. Possible is enough for me.

I know I don’t have to tell you how brutal that division was for multiple decades.

You had the Giants, Redskins, Cowboys and Eagles who would have been the favorite in any other division except the NFC West.

 

[Strawberry Fields]

@Lord Defect can go ahead. I'll pick over my lunch hour

 

[Lord Defect]

Thank you Fields.
The Pufts will be giving our rivals a bit of royalty for their fictional owner.
For a team called the Tijuana Toads, there was one person that immediately sprung to mind and we had to jump at the chance to deliver it.
Prince Naveen of Maldona (from the princess and the frog)

Hop to it @Young Sandwich

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

"There's got to be a morning after ... "

We start this next phase of our existence on Earth Prime with @Young Sandwich on the clock. He filled Compulsory Castration with so much bilge that it reminded me of Dave Scott trying to shove 10 pounds of wet shit into a five-pound bucket yesterday. We are all going to have to wear sanitary gloves when we punch f*** out of the likes of Logan Paul or we'll get shit all over our knuckles. Literal shit. Poop, if you will. I won't. Florida Man @BiggE is on deck. He filled Douchebag Daydreams with four stacks of shit and sealed it, which wasn't a terrible idea. @pit is on the lido deck after choosing his garbage for The Brown Notes extremely wisely. He's like that guy who goes to the junkyard and finds stuff that is valuable for something and then goes to sell it and makes a lot of money because he has an eye for trash. The f***ers he threw in there are going to get plenty of my attention on the ride out, know'msayin'? mja is on the lido deck with an endless list. I just hope he is an active recycler.

Speaking of which, how about yesterday? You know what today made me think of yesterday? Pills. Not just because the stench of tweaker at nate thompson 44's classlessness was still hanging in the air, but because of this.

At Chuck's mom and dad
At Dave Scott's mom and dad
At Lappy's mom and dad
At Yeobastank's bald mom and dad
At Nick Schultz's mom and dad
At Chris Stewart's homeless parents
At Lombo's mom and dad
At Flahrtulence's mom and dad
At f***ing Torchetti's deadbeat mom and dad
At Clarke's mom and dad
At Homer's mom and dad ...


F*** you.

 

[BiggE]

In 1917 God observed the creation of the National Hockey League. Looking back on this, God realized that he missed a perfect time to unleash another flood on planet earth.

 

[Young Sandwich]

The actor swap category is a very interesting one. It first got me thinking of Official Sexpos Team Cheerleader Chris Farley and the multitude of roles he would have knocked out of the park if he was still alive today. RIP big fella. Then I started thinking about movies that were pretty damn great except for that one shitty actor that just couldn't hang with the rest of the bunch and it hit me.

In quite possibly the worst casting choice in all of cinema history, someone decided it was chill to cast Cameron Diaz as Jenny Everdeane in the otherwise wonderfully casted Gangs of New York. Yeah the same Cameron Diaz that had the in her hair for a whole date that one night. What the f***? I assume Scorcese owed her a favor or something, because there's no way anyone could have expected that to work out.

Now that the problem was identified, we needed a solution. It didn't take long to come up with this name, as she is one of the most beautiful and talented actresses to grace the silver screen and just so happened to be entering her acting prime. She would have killed this part like she does every other.

Team Actress Swap - Cameron Diaz as Jenny Everdeane in Gangs of New York

Suplex the shit out of your next pick @BiggE

 

[BiggE]

Jacksonville, if you want Stone Cold Steve Austin to open a can of whoop ass on Vince McMahon, give me a HELL YEAH!!

DAMMIT AUSTIN, JUST READ

OK, now that the damn trash has been taken out, I’ll continue! Now as far as actors go, the one who needs to be removed from every damn movie is that piece of trash known as Dwayne the Rock Johnson!!

But that’s too damn easy, so UH-UH!! Now Stone Cold loves a good gangster movie, especially them Godfather pictures, but that 3rd one needs some fixin!! Much like Vince, the director decided to give his dipshit kid a job, big mistake!
So, say goodbye to that useless piece of trash Sofia Coppola

And hello to the very talented, Mira Sorvino!

AND THATS THE BOTTOM LINE CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!

 

[BiggE]

@pit , time to wake, bake and choose something to take

 

[pit]

Not being able to spite pick musicians still is quite deflating, but we will soldier on.

Most of my top lawyer picks flew off the board. There were some great choices for comedy, such as RANCH for ineffective deviousness and RANCH for being outrageous. However, as we feel it's not outside the realm of possibility that the actions of our GM do end us in legal trouble, we think we need competence and diligence. We need a legal animal who loves a knock-down drag-out fight and can deliver a closing argument with the best of them. A wheeler-dealer who gets results and never takes their eye off the prize.

The Chimpanzees select New York ADA (and later District Attorney) Jack McCoy from Law & Order.

(DUN DON)

@mja , you have the right to make a pick. Any pick you make can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

View attachment 502415
Jacksonville, if you want Stone Cold Steve Austin to open a can of whoop ass on Vince McMahon, give me a HELL YEAH!!
View attachment 502416
DAMMIT AUSTIN, JUST READ
View attachment 502417
OK, now that the damn trash has been taken out, I’ll continue! Now as far as actors go, the one who needs to be removed from every damn movie is that piece of trash known as Dwayne the Rock Johnson!!
View attachment 502418

View attachment 502419
But that’s too damn easy, so UH-UH!! Now Stone Cold loves a good gangster movie, especially them Godfather pictures, but that 3rd one needs some fixin!! Much like Vince, the director decided to give his dipshit kid a job, big mistake!
So, say goodbye to that useless piece of trash Sofia Coppola
View attachment 502420
And hello to the very talented, Mira Sorvino!
View attachment 502421
AND THATS THE BOTTOM LINE CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!
View attachment 502422

Holy shit, you took me on a roller-coaster there, bud. I was about to Oprah your ass for shit-talking my girl Sofia (who is beautiful and cool and did nothing wrong enough in that movie to get shit on the way she was), but I LOVE Mira Sorvino. There was something going on in Hollywood for her to have worked as little as she did after that initial period, because she was gorgeous, charismatic, an excellent actress, she dated QT, AND her father was a famous actor. I can probably find the rumors, but I don't remember anymore.

 

[BiggE]

Holy shit, you took me on a roller-coaster there, bud. I was about to Oprah your ass for shit-talking my girl Sofia (who is beautiful and cool and did nothing wrong enough in that movie to get shit on the way she was), but I LOVE Mira Sorvino. There was something going on in Hollywood for her to have worked as little as she did after that initial period, because she was gorgeous, charismatic, an excellent actress, she dated QT, AND her father was a famous actor. I can probably find the rumors, but I don't remember anymore.

I don’t really hate Sofia, she ended up being a fine director. But as an actress with nearly no experience, she was in over her head in GF3.

That being said, the suckage of that movie had little to do with her and everything to do with the ridiculous story and banal script.

 

[Rebels57]

Holy shit, you took me on a roller-coaster there, bud. I was about to Oprah your ass for shit-talking my girl Sofia (who is beautiful and cool and did nothing wrong enough in that movie to get shit on the way she was), but I LOVE Mira Sorvino. There was something going on in Hollywood for her to have worked as little as she did after that initial period, because she was gorgeous, charismatic, an excellent actress, she dated QT, AND her father was a famous actor. I can probably find the rumors, but I don't remember anymore.

Im pretty sure Weinstein had her blacklisted. Im also pretty sure she was one of his victims. I am also very sure I hope he burns in hell.

Peter Jackson: I blacklisted Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino under pressure from Weinstein

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Im pretty sure Weinstein had her blacklisted. Im also pretty sure she was one of his victims. I am also very sure I hope he burns in hell.

Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

 

[BiggE]

Im pretty sure Weinstein had her blacklisted. Im also pretty sure she was one of his victims. I am also very sure I hope he burns in hell.

Peter Jackson: I blacklisted Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino under pressure from Weinstein

Before that pig burns in hell, I hope he first gets repeatedly raped in prison.

 

[BiggE]

Up next, revealing our hill to die on will be the Nature Boy

 

[mja]

My (very lonely) Hill to Die On: The Last Jedi is not only a good movie, it's a top 5 Star Wars film.

Feel free to give me everything you've got.

@Hurricane28, how much snow can I expect this weekend?

 

[BiggE]

My (very lonely) Hill to Die On: The Last Jedi is not only a good movie, it's a top 5 Star Wars film.

Feel free to give me everything you've got.

@Hurricane28, how much snow can I expect this weekend?

There are only 3 really good SW films:
A New Hope
The Empire Strikes Back
Rogue One

The rest fall somewhere between mediocre and Chuck Fletcher