NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

[BiggE]

Badooba dip! Ba dop deep da doop da deeba dobba dobba deeba dobba derpa dong dop!

If you want to eat a hatchet
Then go ahead now
And if you want to swallow poison
Then go ahead now
And if you want me to crush your nuts with a frying pan
Then go ahead now
And if you want to be thrown out the hatch into deep space
Then go ahead now

Murder him or murder me
I couldn't care less as long as you let me be
He fell straight out of the biological monkey tree

This one, I said I want to throw you off my rocket



He will obviously be Sandakanto's dancer, lyricist and singer. This was the hilarious thing I was waiting for, but listening to that video for a second made me sick and I don't feel like laughing.

Team Member (literally) - Granola C*** - Vocals, Dancing, Tambourine, F*** Yourself

@DancingPanther

The Cuck Fletchbag of pop music, great pick!

 

[Young Sandwich]

Badooba dip! Ba dop deep da doop da deeba dobba dobba deeba dobba derpa dong dop!

If you want to eat a hatchet
Then go ahead now
And if you want to swallow poison
Then go ahead now
And if you want me to crush your nuts with a frying pan
Then go ahead now
And if you want to be thrown out the hatch into deep space
Then go ahead now

Murder him or murder me
I couldn't care less as long as you let me be
He fell straight out of the biological monkey tree

This one, I said I want to throw you off my rocket



He will obviously be Sandakanto's dancer, lyricist and singer. This was the hilarious thing I was waiting for, but listening to that video for a second made me sick and I don't feel like laughing.

Team Member (literally) - Granola C*** - Vocals, Dancing, Tambourine, F*** Yourself

@DancingPanther

He was supposed to round out Compulsory Castration, but alas it wasn't meant to be. I'll have to head on back to the landfill to find a replacement.

 

[pit]

Badooba dip! Ba dop deep da doop da deeba dobba dobba deeba dobba derpa dong dop!

If you want to eat a hatchet
Then go ahead now
And if you want to swallow poison
Then go ahead now
And if you want me to crush your nuts with a frying pan
Then go ahead now
And if you want to be thrown out the hatch into deep space
Then go ahead now

Murder him or murder me
I couldn't care less as long as you let me be
He fell straight out of the biological monkey tree

This one, I said I want to throw you off my rocket



He will obviously be Sandakanto's dancer, lyricist and singer. This was the hilarious thing I was waiting for, but listening to that video for a second made me sick and I don't feel like laughing.

Team Member (literally) - Granola C*** - Vocals, Dancing, Tambourine, F*** Yourself

@DancingPanther

Definitely on my list. I may have to do you a solid on my next pick and make a pick I'm pretty sure will give you an extra spite slot.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Definitely on my list. I may have to do you a solid on my next pick and make a pick I'm pretty sure will give you an extra spite slot.

I am happy to beat up anyone.

 

[mja]

Badooba dip! Ba dop deep da doop da deeba dobba dobba deeba dobba derpa dong dop!

If you want to eat a hatchet
Then go ahead now
And if you want to swallow poison
Then go ahead now
And if you want me to crush your nuts with a frying pan
Then go ahead now
And if you want to be thrown out the hatch into deep space
Then go ahead now

Murder him or murder me
I couldn't care less as long as you let me be
He fell straight out of the biological monkey tree

This one, I said I want to throw you off my rocket



He will obviously be Sandakanto's dancer, lyricist and singer. This was the hilarious thing I was waiting for, but listening to that video for a second made me sick and I don't feel like laughing.

Team Member (literally) - Granola C*** - Vocals, Dancing, Tambourine, F*** Yourself

@DancingPanther

He was supposed to round out Compulsory Castration, but alas it wasn't meant to be. I'll have to head on back to the landfill to find a replacement.

Definitely on my list. I may have to do you a solid on my next pick and make a pick I'm pretty sure will give you an extra spite slot.

Was on mine list as well.

 

[BiggE]

Do we have enough stuff? Can we finally leave earth prime? We need to get moving, this earth prime place sucks balls

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

22 YEARS OF FAILURE, CHUCK!

We start the day with @DancingPanther still on the clock. He works crazy hours, so let's give him until 1 p.m. your time, sound good? I don't care how it sounds. @GKJ is on deck. He has only picked two punching bags so far, so let's see where the seven-leafed weed leads him next. @Hurricane28 is on the lido deck having secured human shitbag John Mayer and ginger mingebag Ed f***ing Sheeran as well as Cardi B. for us to torture. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good. mja is on the lido afterdeck after I accidentally sniped the Granola C*** out from under him. Here's the good news. Anytime mja or anyone else wants to badooba deep badoop deep badeep badooba dooba dop beep beat the shit out of him, he can. I imagine that I will grab him by his stupid greasy dreadlocks and swing him around while the rest of you batter him with batteries and baseball bats. I cannot wait. And if you want to punch for hours, then just go ahead now.

While you ponder those glorious conditions, please enjoy this song.

 

[BiggE]

22 YEARS OF FAILURE, CHUCK!

We start the day with @DancingPanther still on the clock. He works crazy hours, so let's give him until 1 p.m. your time, sound good? I don't care how it sounds. @GKJ is on deck. He has only picked two punching bags so far, so let's see where the seven-leafed weed leads him next. @Hurricane28 is on the lido deck having secured human shitbag John Mayer and ginger mingebag Ed f***ing Sheeran as well as Cardi B. for us to torture. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good. mja is on the lido afterdeck after I accidentally sniped the Granola C*** out from under him. Here's the good news. Anytime mja or anyone else wants to badooba deep badoop deep badeep badooba dooba dop beep beat the shit out of him, he can. I imagine that I will grab him by his stupid greasy dreadlocks and swing him around while the rest of you batter him with batteries and baseball bats. I cannot wait. And if you want to punch for hours, then just go ahead now.

While you ponder those glorious conditions, please enjoy this song.

Can never go wrong with Bowie, he’s the anti-Fletcher

 

[DancingPanther]

f*** guys I didn't realize I was on, I'm sorry. Had a gig either way last night so wasn't on anyway

 

[DancingPanther]

See there's like a million hot girls out there, but most of them are hot because they're just hot. Which is cool and all, but kind of boring

I'm going to choose someone hot who can also sing, smoke weed, and play the piano: Lana Del Rey

 

[DancingPanther]

@GKJ

 

[GKJ]

I think I will make my fictional rival owner Roger Dorn from Major League 2, where he bought the Cleveland Indians, and lost so much money that he had to come out of retirement and sell the team back to Rachel Phelps. I would pick Rachel Phelps, but the team rallied to spite her. So I’ll pick Roger Dorn

@Hurricane28

 

[BiggE]

See there's like a million hot girls out there, but most of them are hot because they're just hot. Which is cool and all, but kind of boring

I'm going to choose someone hot who can also sing, smoke weed, and play the piano: Lana Del Rey

Great choice. When I used to play in a duo with a female vocalist we regularly covered “Video Games”

 

[BernieParent]

See there's like a million hot girls out there, but most of them are hot because they're just hot. Which is cool and all, but kind of boring

I'm going to choose someone hot who can also sing, smoke weed, and play the piano: Lana Del Rey

I was confused, thinking that you were choosing for your spite band, and waiting for the heel turn. Then I remembered the Babe category.

 

[Hurricane28]

I’ll catch up in a bit. @mja go ahead

 

[mja]

For our 5th Spite Band member, the NJFZ reluctantly choose Liz Ph...........f***, I can't do it.

Let's move onto our rival then, shall we? We very carefully reviewed binders full of characters to best represent our dastardly rival according to a very specific set of criteria - we even had a contest with the Flaming Zeppelin fanbase to help us narrow down our list - and I'm pleased to announce that we have a winner.

But first, here are the runners up:

Runner-up #1 - The boy who loves his hot dog sandwiches:

Runner-up #2 - L'enfant terrible:

Runner-up #3 - The cowardly bully:

Our winner - Sandy Duncan's Peter Pan:

Here is a scintillating if now problematic film clip of our rival in all of his glory:

 

[mja]

@Striiker, I think I really captured your essence.

@pit

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

For our 5th Spite Band member, the NJFZ reluctantly choose Liz Ph..........

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

f*** guys I didn't realize I was on, I'm sorry. Had a gig either way last night so wasn't on anyway

I still need your Supergroup name - you are the only one I am waiting on.

 

[Striiker]

For our 5th Spite Band member, the NJFZ reluctantly choose Liz Ph...........f***, I can't do it.

Let's move onto our rival then, shall we? We very carefully reviewed binders full of characters to best represent our dastardly rival according to a very specific set of criteria - we even had a contest with the Flaming Zeppelin fanbase to help us narrow down our list - and I'm pleased to announce that we have a winner.

But first, here are the runners up:

Runner-up #1 - The boy who loves his hot dog sandwiches:

Runner-up #2 - L'enfant terrible:

Runner-up #3 - The cowardly bully:

Our winner - Sandy Duncan's Peter Pan:

Here is a scintillating if now problematic film clip of our rival in all of his glory:

So I'm both a child and a woman now??????

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

So I'm both a child and a woman now??????

She's basically ginger, too, or at least ginger-adjacent.

 

[pit]

I am a man of my word and will still do a solid for @Captain Dave Poulin and free him up a spite slot by taking this next wastrel into our a capella torture crew.

Circling back to my hatred of mainstream music in the late 90s, we're talking a crown jewel with this choice. Once record labels had finished co-opting or destroying any decent group outside of their notice prior to the dawn of the decade, they decided they needed to manufacture the sound. Shockingly, the authenticity and originality that made so many prior groups truly excellent was wholly absent in these walking, talked faux-alternative crap machines.

To take this musical dickery even further, our pick also went and recorded vocals on one of the most overplayed songs of 1999, closing the century on one long, sordid brown note.

Rob Thomas, lead singer of Matchbox Twenty or Matchbox 20 or MB20 or whatever idiotic moniker you go by, saddle up f*cknut. But before we damn you to hell, describe your brain for us.

Exactly.

Sadly, this brings me to the end of Spite picking, which is a shame because much like Steve Rogers before taking steroids...

@BiggE , it's (almost) 3 PM you must be pickin'.

 

[Striiker]

She's basically ginger, too, or at least ginger-adjacent.

Me and my ownership of all lawyers in the universe are suing.

 

[ajgoal]

So I'm both a child and a woman now??????

With a glass eye.

 

[BiggE]

Alright, thank you so much!! The NWO is sooo happy to be here in Jacksonville, isn’t that right Scott?

Hey yo, if you’re here to see the NWO own the Methgators, make some noise. Hey yo, no one knows more about lawyers than me, right Big Kev?

Well ain’t that the sad sorry truth! The NWO has a whole team of lawyers at our beck and call but only one can represent the Jacksonville Methgators! Tell the people all about it, Hollywood.

WELL LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING BROTHER!!! Look dudes, the Methgators, like the New World Order, BROTHER! deserve the best lawyer of them all, DUDE, and that lawyer is, the man who never, ever loses, the boss of all bosses, the most devilish advocate of all BROTHER!! JOHN MILTON!!!!