Lord Defect
Secretary of Blowtorching
- Nov 13, 2013
- 18,803
- 34,854
Balderdash. I’ve had worse. Better yet, I’ve had some that could be thought of as untrue.
It is true that 5 guys is highly overrated garbage.
NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!
- Thread starter Captain Dave Poulin
- Start date
It is true that 5 guys is highly overrated garbage.
Magua
Entirely Palatable Product
But this is still going to be a spite-informed pick.
Official Team Actor Swap: Leonardo DiCaprio for Anakin Skywalker
No, I don't, Hayden, you whiny emo bitch. Go get some sand stuck in your briefs and f*** off.
Darth Vadar was the iconic villain of my childhood, so I was super excited to learn more about his tragic downfall. What a disaster HC was in the role. He was ill-suited for it, and didn't have the acting chops needed to pull off Lucas' clunky dialogue. You know who was also up for the role and might have been able to pull it off? Yep, Leo DiCaprio. Bastard turned it down.
Who knows if it would have resulted in a better overall product, but if anyone could pull off Lucas' dialogue, you have to think it would be Leo.
@Hurricane28
Obviously, someone was going to nab this. I actually wrote down Cillian Murphy for Anakin.
Have you ever seen the movie Shattered Glass from 2003, with Hayden Christensen? It's a true story about a plagiarist at The New Republic magazine in the 90s. He was fantastic in it. I feel like he's a textbook case of a guy who got too big of a role that he was poorly suited for in too big of a franchise; hey, maybe it worked out for him, but I feel like it killed his career in films like this. It's a good watch.
This is so random! Her name is Ivana Baquero, and I never once thought she wasn't excellent in it. Millie Bobby Brown is so oversaturated these days, and you do realize Pan's Labyrinth is a Spanish movie, right?
DancingPanther
Foundational Titan
- Jun 19, 2018
- 33,804
- 72,062
I have seen pan's labyrinth (loved it) and I never said the girl was bad. She wasn'tObviously, someone was going to nab this. I actually wrote down Cillian Murphy for Anakin.
Have you ever seen the movie Shattered Glass from 2003, with Hayden Christensen? It's a true story about a plagiarist at The New Republic magazine in the 90s. He was fantastic in it. I feel like he's a textbook case of a guy who got too big of a role that he was poorly suited for in too big of a franchise; hey, maybe it worked out for him, but I feel like it killed his career in films like this. It's a good watch.
This is so random! Her name is Ivana Baquero, and I never once thought she wasn't excellent in it. Millie Bobby Brown is so oversaturated these days, and you do realize Pan's Labyrinth is a Spanish movie, right?
You're lucky I gave it any sort of serious thought and didn't choose a meme
Bad category is bad
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Starat327
Top .01% OnlyHands
Magua
Entirely Palatable Product
The Honolulu Ghibli welcome aboard to our team -- and to the dungeon level of the colony ship -- our latest Band of Horseshit member: Miley Cyrus (instrument: tongue percussion).
I feel like it's important to not have everyone kill each other in my spite group. I want to savor this. I already have two murderous bastards in Charles Manson and Sid Vicious, and they're not half as bad as Steve Vai. So, I need a glue musical artist to bring everyone together before they get killed in an official way.
I feel like Miley has that perfect lack of self-awareness to enjoy being in this band and with these people. I don't think she'd know she's imprisoned; she'd think it was an experimental documentary showcasing her talents, helping her industry image, etc. And really this is all about my own delight -- the nuclear-level dramatic irony would help power our ship. At least our kitchen appliances. At absolute minimum the toaster.
@Hollywood Couturier coming in like a ......
I feel like it's important to not have everyone kill each other in my spite group. I want to savor this. I already have two murderous bastards in Charles Manson and Sid Vicious, and they're not half as bad as Steve Vai. So, I need a glue musical artist to bring everyone together before they get killed in an official way.
I feel like Miley has that perfect lack of self-awareness to enjoy being in this band and with these people. I don't think she'd know she's imprisoned; she'd think it was an experimental documentary showcasing her talents, helping her industry image, etc. And really this is all about my own delight -- the nuclear-level dramatic irony would help power our ship. At least our kitchen appliances. At absolute minimum the toaster.
@Hollywood Couturier coming in like a ......
mja
Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt
Yes, Shattered Glass is great and HC is terrific in it, but he’s a shit Darth Vader / Anakin. Murphy is an interesting thought, though.
Are you trying to hurt me?
It wasn't my idea, but I feel what my sibling feels.
DancingPanther
Foundational Titan
- Jun 19, 2018
- 33,804
- 72,062
Even Wayne Gretzky turned the puck over every once in awhile. No sweat
Hollywood Cannon
I'm Away From My Desk
It’s not a bad category. You just lack vision.
I’m going to meme the shit out of it.
Speaking of picks, I will make mine in the morning.
DancingPanther
Foundational Titan
- Jun 19, 2018
- 33,804
- 72,062
I just thought of one lol. It isn't good, but it's better
Also I don't lack vision, I lack giving a single shit about movies
Hollywood Cannon
I'm Away From My Desk
So... I know I just said I was going to make my pick in the morning but then it came to me and well I just have to post it now.
This one is going to pain me but it’s full of #Levels and really that’s what this whole thing is about.
I never planned on this category being taken seriously as it was always a meme worthy category.
We’re following @mja’s approach and go into the world of Star Wars and it involves our favorite character in that universe and possibly the most meme worthy actor out there. One that made many appearances in the GDT last night.
We’re speaking of course of the great Danny DeVito but what character are we talking about? We’re talking of course about Jango Fett.
But wait, HC, your favorite character is Jango Fett? No, no he is not but his “son” is and his “son” is a clone of Jango.
But wait, there’s more! Not only is Boba Fett a clone well... all of the Republic’s clone troopers are clones of Jango Fett.
So in summary Danny DeVito will be on screen in the roles of Jango Fett, Boba Fett, and the Clones.
#Levels
It really pains me to remove Temuera Morrison from the universe but this one is too good to pass up.
Why this picture exists on the internet, I’m not really sure:
@Chuck Downie you’re up.
This one is going to pain me but it’s full of #Levels and really that’s what this whole thing is about.
I never planned on this category being taken seriously as it was always a meme worthy category.
We’re following @mja’s approach and go into the world of Star Wars and it involves our favorite character in that universe and possibly the most meme worthy actor out there. One that made many appearances in the GDT last night.
We’re speaking of course of the great Danny DeVito but what character are we talking about? We’re talking of course about Jango Fett.
But wait, HC, your favorite character is Jango Fett? No, no he is not but his “son” is and his “son” is a clone of Jango.
But wait, there’s more! Not only is Boba Fett a clone well... all of the Republic’s clone troopers are clones of Jango Fett.
So in summary Danny DeVito will be on screen in the roles of Jango Fett, Boba Fett, and the Clones.
#Levels
It really pains me to remove Temuera Morrison from the universe but this one is too good to pass up.
Why this picture exists on the internet, I’m not really sure:
@Chuck Downie you’re up.
Lord Defect
Secretary of Blowtorching
- Nov 13, 2013
- 18,803
- 34,854
You should take it seriously just like I did.
Chuck Downie
Cheese and olive
Chuck Downie
Cheese and olive
Sixth Spite Band Member is the useless and talentless
(On flute, recorder and clarinet)
Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton - Wikipedia
@Hollywood Couturier
(On flute, recorder and clarinet)
Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton - Wikipedia
@Hollywood Couturier
Sixth Spite Band Member is the useless and talentless
(On flute, recorder and clarinet)
Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton - Wikipedia
@Hollywood Couturier
Sorry Chuck, she's already a Sexpo. She centers a legend line with wingers Nico Boner and Corey Pecker.
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Chuck Downie
Cheese and olive
I will fix that
Chuck Downie
Cheese and olive
Replacement sixth Spite Band Member is the one trick pony
(On banjo)
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Wikipedia
(On banjo)
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Wikipedia
Replacement sixth Spite Band Member is the one trick pony
(On banjo)
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Wikipedia
Chuck, that song is f***ing horrific. Tremendous choice.
Chuck, I think you know this already, but if you have any trouble with Bette, my golfer would be happy to help.
We start the day with @Hollywood Couturier on the clock. My brother and I came up with very inspired picks in the same round, which is pretty cool if you ask me and also made our family very proud. So proud, in fact, that they have scheduled a roll dinner for this Sunday. I'm sure we'll have our dessert in the living room while we watch Quebec Lapins prospect Ozzy Wiesblatt game tape. My nephew loves him more than Barney. How could he not?
@Magua is on deck. He is a real night owl, so it will be a while. I used to be a night owl when I lived in the jungle and wasn't responsible for any chickens whatsoever. @ajgoal is on the lido deck, but he also has a make-up pick that he can make up any time he is ready. That leaves me on the lido afterdeck. I could go when I am ready if I just wrote into existence some loophole in the rules that says I don't have to wait my turn, but I wouldn't do that. Regardless, I am always ready. You know what I am ready for? I am ready to beat the living shit out of anyone and everyone who has ever uttered the nonsense gibberish "irregardless."
Speaking of unregardlessness, I just saw something hilarious on the television. The tiny, tiny, tiny clown of a club Everton were scored against, and one of their clown fans threw something at the Villa players who were celebrating the goal. Everton's chairman is named Bill Kenwright, and before the game a plane that one of the mongrels had paid for flew overhead with a banner that said "22 YEARS OF FAILURE, BILL." The reason this is so funny is that this club doesn't have enough money or class or support to be competing for anything. Money is ruining the league and that's not the least bit funny, but it is funny when a team that always plays like vicious yard dogs who go out there to injure the opposition because they can't hang with anyone else's talent or will to win is this misguided about who and what they are. Here is actual footage of Everton fans in the middle of a beating.
I am well aware that my NFL team has very similar memes making the rounds this week, but think about the Flyers for just a second, even here in this sanctuary thread. There's nothing holding the Flyers back financially - the salary cap and Comcast's pockets mean that we shouldn't have an Evertonian era of clownish uselessness, and yet we sit here on 11 YEARS OF FAILURE with no end in sight. In one sense that is morbidly funny, but mostly it is just justification for a jihad. Death to America.
We start the day with @Hollywood Couturier on the clock. My brother and I came up with very inspired picks in the same round, which is pretty cool if you ask me and also made our family very proud. So proud, in fact, that they have scheduled a roll dinner for this Sunday. I'm sure we'll have our dessert in the living room while we watch Quebec Lapins prospect Ozzy Wiesblatt game tape. My nephew loves him more than Barney. How could he not?
@Magua is on deck. He is a real night owl, so it will be a while. I used to be a night owl when I lived in the jungle and wasn't responsible for any chickens whatsoever. @ajgoal is on the lido deck, but he also has a make-up pick that he can make up any time he is ready. That leaves me on the lido afterdeck. I could go when I am ready if I just wrote into existence some loophole in the rules that says I don't have to wait my turn, but I wouldn't do that. Regardless, I am always ready. You know what I am ready for? I am ready to beat the living shit out of anyone and everyone who has ever uttered the nonsense gibberish "irregardless."
Speaking of unregardlessness, I just saw something hilarious on the television. The tiny, tiny, tiny clown of a club Everton were scored against, and one of their clown fans threw something at the Villa players who were celebrating the goal. Everton's chairman is named Bill Kenwright, and before the game a plane that one of the mongrels had paid for flew overhead with a banner that said "22 YEARS OF FAILURE, BILL." The reason this is so funny is that this club doesn't have enough money or class or support to be competing for anything. Money is ruining the league and that's not the least bit funny, but it is funny when a team that always plays like vicious yard dogs who go out there to injure the opposition because they can't hang with anyone else's talent or will to win is this misguided about who and what they are. Here is actual footage of Everton fans in the middle of a beating.
I am well aware that my NFL team has very similar memes making the rounds this week, but think about the Flyers for just a second, even here in this sanctuary thread. There's nothing holding the Flyers back financially - the salary cap and Comcast's pockets mean that we shouldn't have an Evertonian era of clownish uselessness, and yet we sit here on 11 YEARS OF FAILURE with no end in sight. In one sense that is morbidly funny, but mostly it is just justification for a jihad. Death to America.
Hollywood Cannon
I'm Away From My Desk
Magua
Entirely Palatable Product
The Honolulu Ghibli lovingly announce as our Team Rival Owner (@DancingPanther)…….the Crypt Keeper
The owner of the most legendary artifact known to man and ghoul: the Coffin. I want my favorite boy (or “boil,” as the Crypt Keeper would cackle) to have it in the next universe. This is my gift to you, co-signed by @landsbergfan.
The Crypt Keeper possesses just that right amount of cynicism, puns, sadomasochism, and rotted flesh to make the perfect sports owner. He’s like the Good Witch version of Eugene Melnyk. Probably. Anyway, he knows tales of horror, which makes his expertise in hockey unmatched. And death gives unto him that most important ownership quality: patience.
*****
@ajgoal — show me what you got
The owner of the most legendary artifact known to man and ghoul: the Coffin. I want my favorite boy (or “boil,” as the Crypt Keeper would cackle) to have it in the next universe. This is my gift to you, co-signed by @landsbergfan.
The Crypt Keeper possesses just that right amount of cynicism, puns, sadomasochism, and rotted flesh to make the perfect sports owner. He’s like the Good Witch version of Eugene Melnyk. Probably. Anyway, he knows tales of horror, which makes his expertise in hockey unmatched. And death gives unto him that most important ownership quality: patience.
*****
@ajgoal — show me what you got
DancingPanther
Foundational Titan
- Jun 19, 2018
- 33,804
- 72,062
I will fetch him the whitest of linensThe Honolulu Ghibli lovingly announce as our Team Rival Owner (@DancingPanther)…….the Crypt Keeper
The owner of the most legendary artifact known to man and ghoul: the Coffin. I want my favorite boy (or “boil,” as the Crypt Keeper would cackle) to have it in the next universe. This is my gift to you, co-signed by @landsbergfan.
The Crypt Keeper possesses just that right amount of cynicism, puns, sadomasochism, and rotted flesh to make the perfect sports owner. He’s like the Good Witch version of Eugene Melnyk. Probably. Anyway, he knows tales of horror, which makes his expertise in hockey unmatched. And death gives unto him that most important ownership quality: patience.
*****
@ajgoal — show me what you got
Tyvm bb
ajgoal
Almost always never serious
- Jun 29, 2015
- 9,854
- 28,601
Make-up pick:
He's a crappy bassist. He dated an underage girl (and then cheated on her). His (former) band found success once they were free of him. He's honestly just a deadbeat who's not grounded in reality. He didn't deserve to have a movie made about him.
Team band of diarrhea member #2: Scott Pilgrim (Sex Bob-omb), bass
Current pick:
Picking someone from this group was difficult, so we're going with the ringleader, since he got everyone together and wrote the music, and therefore, it's ALL HIS FAULT.
Team spite band Member #3: John Phillips (The Mamas and the Papas), vocals
@Captain Dave Poulin
He's a crappy bassist. He dated an underage girl (and then cheated on her). His (former) band found success once they were free of him. He's honestly just a deadbeat who's not grounded in reality. He didn't deserve to have a movie made about him.
Team band of diarrhea member #2: Scott Pilgrim (Sex Bob-omb), bass
Current pick:
Picking someone from this group was difficult, so we're going with the ringleader, since he got everyone together and wrote the music, and therefore, it's ALL HIS FAULT.
Team spite band Member #3: John Phillips (The Mamas and the Papas), vocals
@Captain Dave Poulin
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Badooba dip! Ba dop deep da doop da deeba dobba dobba deeba dobba derpa dong dop!
If you want to eat a hatchet
Then go ahead now
And if you want to swallow poison
Then go ahead now
And if you want me to crush your nuts with a frying pan
Then go ahead now
And if you want to be thrown out the hatch into deep space
Then go ahead now
Murder him or murder me
I couldn't care less as long as you let me be
He fell straight out of the biological monkey tree
This one, I said I want to throw you off my rocket
He will obviously be Sandakanto's dancer, lyricist and singer. This was the hilarious thing I was waiting for, but listening to that video for a second made me sick and I don't feel like laughing.
Team Member (literally) - Granola C*** - Vocals, Dancing, Tambourine, F*** Yourself
@DancingPanther
If you want to eat a hatchet
Then go ahead now
And if you want to swallow poison
Then go ahead now
And if you want me to crush your nuts with a frying pan
Then go ahead now
And if you want to be thrown out the hatch into deep space
Then go ahead now
Murder him or murder me
I couldn't care less as long as you let me be
He fell straight out of the biological monkey tree
This one, I said I want to throw you off my rocket
He will obviously be Sandakanto's dancer, lyricist and singer. This was the hilarious thing I was waiting for, but listening to that video for a second made me sick and I don't feel like laughing.
Team Member (literally) - Granola C*** - Vocals, Dancing, Tambourine, F*** Yourself
@DancingPanther
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