NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

BiggE

SELL THE DAMN TEAM
Jan 4, 2019
24,994
65,539
Somewhere, FL
Spite Vocalist: David Lee Roth

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I’m going to skip the writeup because some very nice people insist that Van Halen was a great band and I don’t want to attack their enjoyment in the name of this jerk.

*Edit* No canine naps were harmed in the making of this post. She woke up for dinner.

@Strawberry Fields
Pure shitgarbage, fine choice
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,576
201,323
Tokyo, JP
The red mist is real, friends.

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We start the day with @Lord Defect on the clock. He's often absent all day during the weekdays, so if he hasn't picked by 2 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, @Young Sandwich should step up from deck and go with his pick. @BiggE is on the lido deck, and pit is on the lido afterdeck.

You know how sports are stupid? One of my teams has the best coach in the world. All the rest of my teams need to fire their coaches. Badly.

I'm in a vile mood, as you can imagine. Just seething. But if there's one thing I know how to do, it is to remove myself from polite society when I am in this mood.

#RecluseLife

Have a great day until I cool off. I got halfway there by watching the finale of "Single's Inferno," but woke up on fire again. F***.

 

Lord Defect

Secretary of Blowtorching
Nov 13, 2013
18,782
34,818
Swear on my life.

The Eagles was my dads fault.
Bob Jovi was my moms.

When I hear the opening to Desperado or Hotel California I have a flashback to going down I95 at 4AM. In later years we ended up getting a portable DVD player installed and then we watched movies the whole way (great movies like Super Troopers, Shaun of the Dead, and Dumb and Dumber were always included on the way there and back)… but the damage was done.
Heading down the shore my parents and godfather would vacation together but drive separately. My parents were more 93.3 or 102.9 but my godfather was more oldies 98.
I rode with him more often than not.
It helped that he had a hole in his floorboards and my “cousins” and I would drop stuff in the hole, and scramble to watch it in the rear window.
 
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Lord Defect

Secretary of Blowtorching
Nov 13, 2013
18,782
34,818
Team spite band member
Do you see that cap.
Team spite band member
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this guy. Right here. Lin-Manuel Miranda

Dudes career seems to pop out of nowhere in 2008 with a reimagining on broadway, 7 years later he’s doing Hamilton and Moana. From there virtually anything with music this dudes been a part of. I’m so over this dude. The more work he purrs out the more it sounds the same.

I’ll give him credit where credit is due, he can write a f***ing ear worm.
Encanto sounded a hell of a lot like Vivo. Not the exact same but not too far off. Then there is the ending of encanto where they pulled it together that sounded eerily similar to the end(ish) of Hamilton.
I cannot wait for this dudes career to take a back burner for the next popular thing.

He will be playing the spoons for the stay Pufts, the spoons will be heavily rusted and we will not be providing healthcare.
@Young Sandwich we don’t talk about how I was on the clock since 9pm
 

Young Sandwich

Trout & Hockey
Sponsor
Dec 13, 2015
5,821
20,191
Outerspace
Our next band member is less of an actual piece of shit compared to our other members, but his ear poison is more than enough to make him a worthy selection. He was somehow nominated for 13 Grammy awards, taking home 8 of them. Someone must have played a goof on us there, those silly gooses.

I find it hard to even label his works as music. "Headache-inducing noise" is a much better descriptor in this case. Pressing play on your Macbook and gyrating around on stage should in no way be considered a great performance. His trademarked appearance can be best described as "the festering corpse of a wet spaghetti-haired emo version of Corey Feldman." Psychedelics should not be mandatory in order to enjoy someones "music".

His torture sessions will consist of him being forced to listen to his own shitty music on a loop while we all whale away and "drop" him when his classic "drops" drop. Ugh.


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(Soon to be) Mutilated Member - Skrillex (Playing the washboard)

I'm pretty sure I can smell what @BiggE is cooking right now.
 

BiggE

SELL THE DAMN TEAM
Jan 4, 2019
24,994
65,539
Somewhere, FL
This malodorous turd burger is a fine guitarist but he’s universally detested by every former band mate. He’s opinionated, arrogant and a thorough douchebag, so joining The Douchebag Daydreams on lead guitar, please welcome to Jacksonville, a true piece of shit, RITCHIE BLACKMORE
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This completes our band of spite and derision as my stomach and my ears can’t stand anymore.

@pit , come do this thingy thing
 

pit

5th Most Improved Poster
Jun 25, 2005
5,145
20,920
Toronto
There are two things I need to address here: my pick and the overall group.

First, my pick. This guy was initially selected because of the horror of his music as well as the numerous very public *ssholery incident he was known to be involved in, such as the previously mentioned sex tape involving Kid Rock, getting in a fistfight with members of RANCH (where both sides losing would have been a win), laying onstage for an entire show, and shooting up his house with machine guns.

Upon a deeper dive I've discovered that he has bipolar disorder, which caused addiction issues and much larger problems for him. He sought treatment and is now sober and leading a more normal life. So I won't be snatching him for his extra-curricular activities but solely the ear-bleeding faux-Christian music he played a role in.

Scott Stapp, lead singer of Creed, you're in the band.
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Whether it's Arms Wide Open, My Sacrifice, or Higher, this mewling quim never fails to deliver intense nausea.

Now, you may be look at my wretchedly vile picks of Fred Durst, Kid Rock and Scott Stapp and say "But all you have are (allegedly) vocalists. Where are the instruments? How is this a supergroup"

This is where it gets worse.

Ladies and gentlemen, we won't be despoiling rock music with this group. It's too great a form to have such a tremendous pall cast over it. Not a single musical instrument will be touched by this cadre of crap. We will instead be moving these heinous so-called musicians into one of the worst forms of music ever: a capella

Without any further ado, I give you the first three members of: The Brown Notes.

@mja , look away (but don't listen away).
 

Hurricane28

Angry Flyers STH/Weather Guy
Aug 22, 2012
9,217
9,189
South Jersey
Heartbreaking Sports Moments: Im gonna go a bit off the board. I'm not really a Man U fan but this one is an all timer. Soccer fans know what I'm talking about already but for those who don't know: Manchester City and Manchester United were tied going into the final day of the EPL season. Manchester United won their match against Sunderland and all they needed was a Man City tie or loss to clinch the title. Man City was down 2-1 to QPR going into stoppage time, before an improbable comeback. City scored two goals in the 92nd and 94th minute to snatch the title away from Man U. City won the title on goal differential in one of the craziest moments in sports that you will ever see.

Pure heartbreak for Manchester United. Pure Euphoria for City.



@GKJ
 

Hollywood Cannon

I'm Away From My Desk
Jul 17, 2007
88,078
160,033
South Jersey
Heartbreaking Sports Moments: Im gonna go a bit off the board. I'm not really a Man U fan but this one is an all timer. Soccer fans know what I'm talking about already but for those who don't know: Manchester City and Manchester United were tied going into the final day of the EPL season. Manchester United won their match against Sunderland and all they needed was a Man City tie or loss to clinch the title. Man City was down 2-1 to QPR going into stoppage time, before an improbable comeback. City scored two goals in the 92nd and 94th minute to snatch the title away from Man U. City won the title on goal differential in one of the craziest moments in sports that you will ever see.

Pure heartbreak for Manchester United. Pure Euphoria for City.



@GKJ

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Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,576
201,323
Tokyo, JP
Heartbreaking Sports Moments: Im gonna go a bit off the board. I'm not really a Man U fan but this one is an all timer. Soccer fans know what I'm talking about already but for those who don't know: Manchester City and Manchester United were tied going into the final day of the EPL season. Manchester United won their match against Sunderland and all they needed was a Man City tie or loss to clinch the title. Man City was down 2-1 to QPR going into stoppage time, before an improbable comeback. City scored two goals in the 92nd and 94th minute to snatch the title away from Man U. City won the title on goal differential in one of the craziest moments in sports that you will ever see.

Pure heartbreak for Manchester United. Pure Euphoria for City.



@GKJ


It's crushing that one of those shitbags had to win. It's crushing to Martin f***ing Tyler that it wasn't United. This game might have come up if we ever did a "Most Hilarious Last-Second Goal by a Gang of C***s Against a Gang of Bigger C***s," but it's off the board now.
 

Hurricane28

Angry Flyers STH/Weather Guy
Aug 22, 2012
9,217
9,189
South Jersey
It's crushing that one of those shitbags had to win. It's crushing to Martin f***ing Tyler that it wasn't United. This game might have come up if we ever did a "Most Hilarious Last-Second Goal by a Gang of C***s Against a Gang of Bigger C***s," but it's off the board now.

The 5-6 Philly Sports ones in my lifetime are all off the board so I had to reach. The only other one I considered was St. Joe's Elite 8 loss to Oklahoma State.

But I mainly took this one because if this happened to a team I was a die hard fan of, I would be despondent for weeks.
 

CanadianFlyer88

Knublin' PPs
Feb 12, 2004
43,757
53,301
Van City
Heartbreaking Sports Moments: Im gonna go a bit off the board. I'm not really a Man U fan but this one is an all timer. Soccer fans know what I'm talking about already but for those who don't know: Manchester City and Manchester United were tied going into the final day of the EPL season. Manchester United won their match against Sunderland and all they needed was a Man City tie or loss to clinch the title. Man City was down 2-1 to QPR going into stoppage time, before an improbable comeback. City scored two goals in the 92nd and 94th minute to snatch the title away from Man U. City won the title on goal differential in one of the craziest moments in sports that you will ever see.

Pure heartbreak for Manchester United. Pure Euphoria for City.



@GKJ

As a neutral fan, but leaning towards the Citeh side of the ledger for that match day, this was one of the craziest sporting events I ever saw. Had both games on and the astonished noise I made when Aguero scored woke up my wife who thought we were being robbed. :laugh:

Part of the craziness was that QPR, a relegation side, took the lead down a man, completely against the run of play.
 

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