NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!

[Young Sandwich]

In an effort to get the most out of our spite beatings, The Sexpos will be offering up the services of Rick Sanchez to the entire Quackverse. He has recently figured out a way to fully heal our victims after we mercilessly beat them within inches of their life. That bloody pulp you created on a Tuesday will be back to full health in time for next week's spite conference so you can do it all over again. I can't wait to cave this creep's face in on the regular.

(Soon to be) Mutilated Member - R. Kelly (he will be playing the kazoo)

Hey @BiggE , who are you adding to the list of victims?

 

[mja]

In an effort to get the most out of our spite beatings, The Sexpos will be offering up the services of Rick Sanchez to the entire Quackverse. He has recently figured out a way to fully heal our victims after we mercilessly beat them within inches of their life. That bloody pulp you created on a Tuesday will be back to full health in time for next week's spite conference so you can do it all over again. I can't wait to cave this creep's face in on the regular.

(Soon to be) Mutilated Member - R. Kelly (he will be playing the kazoo)

Hey @BiggE , who are you adding to the list of victims?

You keep sniping me.

Anyway, f***er, you believe you can fly? Let's test that theory out, shall we?

 

[Young Sandwich]

You keep sniping me.

Anyway, f***er, you believe you can fly? Let's test that theory out, shall we?

Don't fret, we're all winners when it comes to the spite members. We am become death.

 

[BiggE]

Spite is beautiful thing and I have an infinite amount for this “vocalist”. Not only does her voice make angels pull off their own wings and pour battery acid into their ears, but she also helped to break up the Beatles and all but destroy John Lennon.

So, on lead screaming, a true pile of shit, YOKO ONO

 

[BiggE]

@pit come do this twisted thing, like we twisted this thing last summer!

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Spite is beautiful thing and I have an infinite amount for this “vocalist”. Not only does her voice make angels pull off their own wings and pour battery acid into their ears, but she also helped to break up the Beatles and all but destroy John Lennon.

So, on lead screaming, a true pile of shit, YOKO ONO
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Tremendous spite. Great post.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

See you in the Summer, Justin.

 

[pit]

I wasn't in this thread yesterday and I came to it just now to make my pick and I was like "How did we gain 5 pages in this threa...

Let's see...

OK, then...

Team Actor Swap - Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson replaces The Bride in Kill Bill

@Captain Dave Poulin suck farts

@JojoTheWhale you're up

Oh.

Pick incoming.

 

[Rebels57]

I am very much with you in the camp of every musical act has value (except Avril) and I appreciate that you stick to that no matter how much flack you get for it.. It's exactly as you said, the weird popularity combined with his attitude.

I don't know that I've heard anything from In Rainbows, but I will give it a shot today.

In Rainbows does rule but it came out like 15 years ago and they haven't made a great record since.

 

[Rebels57]

Spite is beautiful thing and I have an infinite amount for this “vocalist”. Not only does her voice make angels pull off their own wings and pour battery acid into their ears, but she also helped to break up the Beatles and all but destroy John Lennon.

So, on lead screaming, a true pile of shit, YOKO ONO
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You should probably watch Get Back.

Yoko had very little to do with The Beatles break-up. They were just growing apart as artists and she was unfairly scapegoated.

That said, she deserves to be picked for how awful her singing is, so..Great Pick.. lol

 

[pit]

So I had some other options lined up for this pick, but after going back and seeing @Lord Defect 's effort to try and protect this all thumbs, blundering, bumbling, bulky, bungling, clownish, crude, gauche, gawky, graceless, ham-handed, heavy-handed, helpless, ill-shaped, inept, incompetent, inelegant, lubberly, lumbering, lumpish, maladroit, oafish, ponderous, stumbling, unable, unadept, uncouth, ungainly, unwieldy pile of crap, I am unequivocally claiming him for my spite group.

Coming in hot on the heels of Fred Durst, we select Robert James Ritchie. Known primarily as Kid Rock, I am selecting him by his birth name so that he doesn't try to hide behind his idiotic alter-ego Bobby Shazam. Oh, you've never heard of this sh*tfest?




If you need a refresher on how comically bad he is as Kid Rock, here is his latest song.



See, I don't even need to get into his personal life where he goes hunting cougars (literal ones, not older women) with Ted Nugent, having a sex tape shared with RANCH from REDACTED, refusing to renounce the Confederate flag, or his political views. His music is so utterly wretched that it earns him a place on its own. Everyone knows it except for defects and this guy:

@mja , keep the fields running with the blood of the deserving.

 

[mja]

For these spite picks, the primary qualification I have is whether or not said artist has ever assaulted my ears. They don't need to be terrible people necessarily, though that can't hurt, but they may well be just generic douchebags, or even perfectly nice people who have made bad music. The only torture I wish to inflict upon them is to force them to listen to their own music during our trip, namely their very worst song on an unending loop 24/7 played at high volume until their untimely departure from the [Ranch] into the cold reaches of deep space.

So, to kick these off for the NJFZ:

Dave Matthews, what would you say if I told you the only thing going to be crashing into you is an asteroid?

@Hurricane28

 

[pit]

For these spite picks, the primary qualification I have is whether or not said artist has ever assaulted my ears. They don't need to be terrible people necessarily, though that can't hurt, but they may well be just generic douchebags, or even perfectly nice people who have made bad music.

If it was just people who made bad music, I'd never be able to level it down. There was a version of this draft in my head that consisted solely of jam bands. So, if we can also nab douchebags in this net of bad musicians, well, as the kid says...

There are probably some where the music alone is so egregious that it may overcome the d-bag factor (Dave Matthews was on this list). We'll see how the board unfolds.

 

[ajgoal]

Spite is beautiful thing and I have an infinite amount for this “vocalist”. Not only does her voice make angels pull off their own wings and pour battery acid into their ears, but she also helped to break up the Beatles and all but destroy John Lennon.

So, on lead screaming, a true pile of shit, YOKO ONO
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The greatest part about this pick that you sniped from me, is that Lennon apparently did love her. So her being tortured will also torture him, which is possibly even a better outcome.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Holy crap, i'm never going to complain about not being at the top ever again.

 

[BiggE]

You should probably watch Get Back.

Yoko had very little to do with The Beatles break-up. They were just growing apart as artists and she was unfairly scapegoated.

That said, she deserves to be picked for how awful her singing is, so..Great Pick.. lol

She took up half of Lennon’s final album with her screeching. For that alone, I hate her. Also he never tried heroin til he hooked up with her as well. She is a toxic piece of utter garbage.

She’s basically a female Alain Vigneault

 

[mja]

If it was just people who made bad music, I'd never be able to level it down. There was a version of this draft in my head that consisted solely of jam bands. So, if we can also nab douchebags in this net of bad musicians, well, as the kid says...

There are probably some where the music alone is so egregious that it may overcome the d-bag factor (Dave Matthews was on this list). We'll see how the board unfolds.

I'm serving a great purpose then! We can't let those people escape unpunished just because they're not terrible people, because, well, they are terrible people for inflicting bad music on us.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

For these spite picks, the primary qualification I have is whether or not said artist has ever assaulted my ears. They don't need to be terrible people necessarily, though that can't hurt, but they may well be just generic douchebags, or even perfectly nice people who have made bad music. The only torture I wish to inflict upon them is to force them to listen to their own music during our trip, namely their very worst song on an unending loop 24/7 played at high volume until their untimely departure from the [Ranch] into the cold reaches of deep space.

So, to kick these off for the NJFZ:

Dave Matthews, what would you say if I told you the only thing going to be crashing into you is an asteroid?

Great pick. Full disclosure - I don't hate that song. But f*** all jam bands.

If it was just people who made bad music, I'd never be able to level it down. There was a version of this draft in my head that consisted solely of jam bands.

F*** ALL JAM BANDS! PREACHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

[ajgoal]

Jam bands are horrendous. Every. Single. One.

 

[mja]

Jam bands are horrendous. Every. Single. One.

They hardly even get any airplay, aside from DMB or GD's Touch of Grey, so people have to specifically seek that shit out. Just goes to show you how much damage drugs can really do.

 

[ajgoal]

They hardly even get any airplay, aside from DMB or GD's Touch of Grey, so people have to specifically seek that shit out. Just goes to show you how much damage drugs can really do.

"There's this great band playing at XXX tonight, wanna come?"

One 40 minute song later, and you're trying to slit your wrists with a cocktail napkin.

 

[DancingPanther]

It's funny because the Grateful Dead, perhaps the most often cited "jam band", was only a "jam band" in concert. Jamming during concerts isn't exactly rare.

Their studio stuff is pretty typical of 60s-70s music.

People don't really hate [REDACTED I THINK] but 3 of their 6 most famous records were more "jam" than the Dead in studio.

People love to hate it though. Is it the weed?

 

[DancingPanther]

Or is it the fact that people just want 5 minute songs because the typical attention span can't handle anything past American Pie or Hey Jude? You can thank radio culture for that

 

[BiggE]

Or is it the fact that people just want 5 minute songs because the typical attention span can't handle anything past American Pie or Hey Jude? You can thank radio culture for that

I’m a big prog fan and love long songs but bands can get carried away.
Case in point:
Yes: Tales from Topographic Oceans

As far as jam bands, I dig the Dead but can usually do without the overblown drums/space jams. Those were basically the time for a bathroom break and to grab snacks and another beer.

 

[BiggE]

It's funny because the Grateful Dead, perhaps the most often cited "jam band", was only a "jam band" in concert. Jamming during concerts isn't exactly rare.

Their studio stuff is pretty typical of 60s-70s music.

People don't really hate [REDACTED I THINK] but 3 of their 6 most famous records were more "jam" than the Dead in studio.

People love to hate it though. Is it the weed?

American Beauty, Workingman’s Dead and Mars Hotel are 3 excellent Dead albums and are full of great songs, not jams.