NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - FRESH DOWN THERE PHASE NINETEEN!

[Magua]

I had no idea what to do for this category until you picked Feldman.

At least your mind didn’t go to “serial killer.” Because I’m not at all concerned about people interpreting this category as bringing in serial killers to the Quackverse. Not one bit!

 

[BernieParent]

"Having completed this round's FutureHeads prospect selections, the owners of the Tampa Bay FireSticks were pleased to take on the more winsome enjoyment of making our non-hockey picks. We began with our selection of Team Trainer Mr. Miyagi, knowing that he would not last to our sixth round of drafting. We now continue with -- in our consideration -- the only draft choice at risk of being sniped for the category of Team Spokesperson.

"Ahead of making our pick, we tip our collective caps to @Beef Invictus, owner of the Mutineers, for previously selecting our first consensus option, Mel Blanc, in the category of Play-by-Play Announcer / Colour Analyst. While Mr. Blanc brings delightfully entertaining versatility in his vocal deliveries, we remain more than pleased to announce the joining to the FireSticks franchise of one of the most iconic voices in entertainment history, James Earl Jones.

"Within his 189 acting credits are a wealth of voice work, most notably for Darth Vader and Mufasa. He voiced Santa Claus in the cartoon Recess and worked on 3 episodes of The Simpsons. He also narrated the King James Bible. Remarkably, Mr. Jones accomplished this amazing career despite a lifelong affliction with stuttering.



"To paraphrase one of Mr. Jones' movie lines, @Beef Invictus: Believe in your draft picks and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you.”

 

[Lord Defect]

For our Team Creeper, we're going to dip into @BiggE's territory. No pun intended.

For 30 years, this man traveled the world creeping out fans on every continent except Antarctica. Someone somewhere thought it would be a good idea for him to start out his career as a good guy. It might be the most inexplicable decision ever made. Just take a look at Bulldog Brower.

@BernieParent I'm trying to imagine what your heel turn would look like. I've got nothing.

That is not the wrestler I thought would be taken and you are not the poster I thought would take a wrestler.

 

[BiggE]

That is not the wrestler I thought would be taken and you are not the poster I thought would take a wrestler.

The list of creepy rasslers is a long one.

 

[Beef Invictus]

The list of creepy rasslers is a long one.

I had to purposefully move away from wrestlers because I figured they'd be too popular. I had [redacted] as a finalist.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

That is not the wrestler I thought would be taken and you are not the poster I thought would take a wrestler.

The one you're thinking of might be my least favorite wrestler ever. I'll leave that to anyone else unless we get a spite category that fits. The eye roll thing is hilariously cringy.

I love wrestling. I was just never a WWE guy. We still go to non-WWE shows every once in a while -- 2nd row at MSG a couple of years ago, Arthur Ashe Stadium last year, going back this year, flew out to Chicago for a couple of shows, etc. We even did a Tokyo trip a few years back. Same group of people that went to the ECW arena when we convinced our parents it was safe.

 

[Lord Defect]

The one you're thinking of might be my least favorite wrestler ever. I'll leave that to anyone else unless we get a spite category that fits. The eye roll thing is hilariously cringy.

I love wrestling. I was just never a WWE guy. We still go to non-WWE shows every once in a while -- 2nd row at MSG a couple of years ago, Arthur Ashe Stadium last year, going back this year, flew out to Chicago for a couple of shows, etc. We even did a Tokyo trip a few years back. Same group of people that went to the ECW arena when we convinced our parents it was safe.

Much older school than that guy.
I’ve been to one lower end circuit show in a school gym, [Redacted] was there lol. Then one at the wildwood boardwalk convention center. Both as a young kid, probably under ten, fun but I don’t think I could watch it these days.

 

[pit]

At least your mind didn’t go to “serial killer.” Because I’m not at all concerned about people interpreting this category as bringing in serial killers to the Quackverse. Not one bit!

"this is the person you will bring along to creep people out."

It sounds like he's already reaping dividends!

 

[Magua]

"this is the person you will bring along to creep people out."

It sounds like he's already reaping dividends!

Creep, not murder!

I’ll just say that my team will not be staying at any lodging provided by the Chimpanzees.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Much older school than that guy.
I’ve been to one lower end circuit show in a school gym, [Redacted] was there lol. Then one at the wildwood boardwalk convention center. Both as a young kid, probably under ten, fun but I don’t think I could watch it these days.

I honestly don’t even understand how an American would get into it now. When I was a kid, it was always sports-adjacent. Now it’s just its own thing.

Look at it this way. It’s kind of like going to a midnight screening of a live action Rocky Horror. It’s performance art with participation elements.

 

[BiggE]

The one you're thinking of might be my least favorite wrestler ever. I'll leave that to anyone else unless we get a spite category that fits. The eye roll thing is hilariously cringy.

I love wrestling. I was just never a WWE guy. We still go to non-WWE shows every once in a while -- 2nd row at MSG a couple of years ago, Arthur Ashe Stadium last year, going back this year, flew out to Chicago for a couple of shows, etc. We even did a Tokyo trip a few years back. Same group of people that went to the ECW arena when we convinced our parents it was safe.

I’ve been enjoying the WWE since McMahon was forced out and HHH took over, and I dig AEW too, but my favorite era of wrestling was late 80s NWA. It doesn’t get any better than Flair vs Steamboat.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I’ve been enjoying the WWE since McMahon was forced out and HHH took over, and I dig AEW too, but my favorite era of wrestling was late 80s NWA. It doesn’t get any better than Flair vs Steamboat.

Late 80s NWA is what got me too.

My dad took me to Havoc ‘89 as a kid. That was the goofy electrified cage deal, but what it’s also famous for is the fans clearly and openly rooting for The Freebirds over that awful Dynamic Dudes gimmick. I will never forget lining up in front of the Civic Center before the show and having hundreds of lunatics chanting for their blood before the doors even opened.

That’s when I realized shitting on the show when it’s lame was a way of life. Those nutjobs scared the shit out of my dad, but they made me a lifelong fan that day.

 

[BiggE]

Late 80s NWA is what got me too.

My dad took me to Havoc ‘89 as a kid. That was the goofy electrified cage deal, but what it’s also famous for is the fans clearly and openly rooting for The Freebirds over that awful Dynamic Dudes gimmick. I will never forget lining up in front of the Civic Center before the show and having hundreds of lunatics chanting for their blood before the doors even opened.

That’s when I realized shitting on the show when it’s lame was a way of life. Those nutjobs scared the shit out of my dad, but they made me a lifelong fan that day.

My first show was a WWWF show at the Spectrum in 1976. Andre the Giant was on the card and the main event was Superstar Billy Graham vs Stan Hansen. Back then, WWWF was all you got in Philly. My uncle was a huge fan and he got me hooked back in the early 70s watching guys like Bruno Sammartino and Andre.

 

[Lord Defect]

I honestly don’t even understand how an American would get into it now. When I was a kid, it was always sports-adjacent. Now it’s just its own thing.

Look at it this way. It’s kind of like going to a midnight screening of a live action Rocky Horror. It’s performance art with participation elements.

I’ve been to the rhps at universal a few times. It’s a great time, but I don’t know if I’d go to a theater for one. I can see the comparison.

I regret not going to see original ecw

 

[Beef Invictus]

Rare Bernie! Gigantic Bernie! Absorbing Bernie!

At least I'm pretty sure I'm up, my brain hasn't been working so good and I've not been able to finalize anything for the two categories I'm pondering. Therefore, I must buy more time buy drafting a futurehead. And as everyone knows, Fumk Belcher once drafted Kaprizov in the 5th round. And so that is where all the true talent must lie.

I choose: VLADIMIR GRUDININ

Vlad is a defenseman. Vlado The Maddo was drafted by Carolina, so he's probably good. Vladbro Potato was ranked in the 40s/50s generally pre-draft and appears to have plummeted because Russia is intent on pulling another 1905. Here is his presumed visage:

@ajgoal is probably up now!? Diligent ajgoal! Curvy ajgoal! Quick ajgoal!

 

[Beef Invictus]

It has come to my attention that @Magua stole my pick already. He also sees the wisdom of the 5th Round. That's where Kaprizov was once drafted, you know. Youthful Magua! Melodic Magua! Deadpan Magua!

So let's amend that pick to someone available: Vsevolod Kamarov

Kamarov was drafted by Buffalo, which tends to be ominous. But he was drafted in the 5th round, which is very good. His skating is suspect and his ability to carry the puck doesn't exist, but he's a strong-ass playmaker with strong-ass ability to push play up ice with his passing. He's a BigBoi (tm) who can hit and crunch but also spring the rush so that he doesn't have to just endlessly defend. Fletcher would hate him.

I found an interesting portrait of him:

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I love trying to collect my thoughts right after Biff has posted one, not to mention two, of his perfectly normal portrait pics.

We start the day with @ajgoal on the clock, then me on deck, then @Magua on the lido deck, then we are going right to @Rebels57 on the lido afterdeck. Hurricane has been here almost as much as Starberry this phase, innit.

I had two more eps left in China than I thought, so that is cool. I got through the first one last night, and it was pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good. All of the couples chose to stay together, and then they went on a 24-hour trip. This series was filmed, or at least broadcast, just as Covid dropped trou on the Earth, but they haven't made any mention of it at all (not surprisingly). When they (the subtitlers) described the trip, they were talking about planes and going abroad, which I couldn't understand considering the circumstances, but it turns out they went to places in China that had, like, themes. Like there was a French-style castle, and a Japanese-style resort, etc. It didn't really make any difference, but it was weird.

Anyway, so the phony and the fairy princess went to the French castle. He's a sports agent, and he's completely full of shit. Can't stand him. He was saying all these cliched romantic things to her during the day, then they sat down to dinner and he continued. It was hard to watch. She is really great, though, and despite being VERY shy, she asked him hard questions. Like she asked him why he broke up with his former girlfriends, and what a girl could do to make a relationship intolerable. He just stumbled over his words, because he wasn't prepared to hear and answer honest questions - all he had in his arsenal was phony shit. She saw right through him. At the end of this trip, they go back and are supposed to decide whether they will continue as lovers or just be friends. I'm really, really hoping she chooses friends and then never sees him or hears from him again.

The couple which was the strongest all of a sudden had real problems - the girl with amazing legs got really serious and talked about her doubts, and the whole thing was very heavy. The adorable couple was mostly fine, but the panel thinks they are in trouble - may be a case of lost in translation for yours truly. The worst couple, the glutton and the dullard, got along famously, which was a real shock.

Either way, I am down to one episode, so there is about to be a huge hole in my life. F***. More about this later.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I'd have only needed to post one portrait if you had rejected Magua's pick for me. This is your own fault

 

[ajgoal]

There's nothing to be bitter about with this guy. Nothing at all. Not even @Striiker could get worked up over this guy.

Futurehead (2) #1: Artyom Duda

@Captain Dave Poulin don't take the whole Duda day to make your pick.

 

[Striiker]

There's nothing to be bitter about with this guy. Nothing at all. Not even @Striiker could get worked up over this guy.

Futurehead (2) #1: Artyom Duda

@Captain Dave Poulin don't take the whole Duda day to make your pick.

“Not even Striiker”???

What did I do???

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I am going about this Team Creeper business a bit differently, even though I am the one who wrote the description in the OP. Because this magnificent, beautiful, wonderful girl has crept from the studio in China right into my (literal) dreams like six out of the last seven nights. We get along famously, like you wouldn't even believe, so much so that it's almost reality that we are already together. It's just so f***ing REAL. I need her with me.

She is obviously spectacularly beautiful, but she also has the most adorable personality. Her voice is very girlish, and she is very funny and silly. I downloaded her film "The Game Changer" (2017) the other day, and while it was mostly stupid, she was so beautiful that it didn't matter.

The thing about my organization is that it is full of beauties, right. One of the many reasons for that is that I want them to cut and slice the shit out of the monsters and aliens we may (and definitely will) find out there in the dark reaches of the undercarriage of space - it's great fun to see beautiful girls who are also badasses. Another reason is that I just like to be surrounded by beautiful women, natch. Yet another is that I want to distract you silly f***ers. That is the real benefit of this pick. She is sure to creep into your eyesight and cause your minds to lose function. The pictures show some extent of it, but trust me - she is an absolute rocket, and she is perfectly wonderful. Good luck.

Team Creeper - Guli Nazha

@Magua

 

[ajgoal]

“Not even Striiker”???

What did I do???

Look at where he was picked.

 

[Beef Invictus]

That looks like a pretty Uighur name. Good thing for her she's famous I guess

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

That looks like a pretty Uighur name. Good thing for her she's famous I guess

Yosh, I thought the same.

 

[Magua]

The Ghibbles need to right a wrong in the Quackverse and bring in a (so far) neglected musical artist to get the boys and girls on the hype train. I hear sounds in my mind. Brand new sounds in my mind.

The Honolulu Ghibli pick as our Team Pre-Game Hype Song, "Green Light" by Lorde



****

@Rebels57 -- we can finish our picks before you go glug glug this weekend. I believe!