NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - FRESH DOWN THERE PHASE NINETEEN!

[Striiker]

Futurehead - Jani Nyman

@pit

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

The Las Vegas Desert Ducks turn their attention to the Team Pre-Game Hype Song category and while this song may not be one to get you all jazzed up like some of the others it is one that will stick in your head for all of eternity. It's the type of song that will sneak into your brain at the most random times and infect it.

It also fits the franchise and the Quackverse perfectly and if we do one thing right in this world it is #Levels.

So without further adieu, we are proud to select The Duck Song.



@Striiker you're up you pillaging scum.

That song f***ing rules. What a banger. Great pick.

 

[pit]

Connor McDavid: Oh, hey. I was just on my way out.

What, you want another pick? I thought it was 4 hockey players? 5?

Nicholas Moldenhauer, RW for the Chimps. He's a mystery box wrapped in an enigma.

@CanadianFlyer88 , I'm out and you're up.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

As our good friends at Murphy's know, nothing goes better with a fresh bowl of smoked salmon ice cream than a hot cup of futurehead Niklas Kokko. Wouldn't you agree, @mja?

 

[JojoTheWhale]

bowl of smoked salmon ice cream

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

This has been a running theme of mine since the ice cream category was introduced. Somehow I found my way to a company that has backers as being the best ice cream in Ireland... and the company coincidentally had tried a smoked salmon flavour that failed miserably. From that linked article: "The brothers admit that they aren’t perfect though and Kieran still regrets making a batch of smoked salmon ice cream."

They had a write up in their website, too, but I couldn't find it doing a quick search now... it said something like "smoked salmon ice cream was the worst decision we ever made". Seemed like a perfect ice cream choice, especially to serve to visiting franchises in their team box.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

This has been a running theme of mine since the ice cream category was introduced. Somehow I found my way to a.company that has backers as being the best ice cream in Ireland... and the company coincidentally had tried a smoked salmon flavour that failed miserably. From that linked article: "The brothers admit that they aren’t perfect though and Kieran still regrets making a batch of smoked salmon ice cream."

They had a write up in their website, too, but I couldn't find it doing a quick search now... it said something like "smoked salmon ice cream was the worst decision we ever made". Seemed like a perfect ice cream choice, especially to serve to visiting franchises in their team box.

Ok, to be fair, there can be some surprisingly good ones you would never guess. There was a place in Philadelphia that used to have an Early Grey Sriracha ice cream that was actually damn good for example.

 

[mja]

We're going to take a break on hockey picks.

Let's do Team Food Truck.

We already have Taco Trucks as our pre-game meal. We have the entirety of French cuisine covered with our last meal or whatever it was. We have a breakfast sandwich par excellence and a killer Chinese noodle dish. We have Korean fried chicken and donuts with our chain restaurant. In short, we've been doing ok with this whole food thing.

But we desperately need some Thai. Specifically, some flaming Thai-hot Thai. So we're going to create our own Thai-themed food truck, inspired both by a national Thai symbol and our own Team Lair: The Flaming Elephant.

The Flaming Elephant will have all of our favorite Thai dishes, served flaming hot.

@Young Sandwich

 

[Asnito]

We're going to take a break on hockey picks.

Let's do Team Food Truck.

We already have Taco Trucks as our pre-game meal. We have the entirety of French cuisine covered with our last meal or whatever it was. We have a breakfast sandwich par excellence and a killer Chinese noodle dish. We have Korean fried chicken and donuts with our chain restaurant. In short, we've been doing ok with this whole food thing.

But we desperately need some Thai. Specifically, some flaming Thai-hot Thai. So we're going to create our own Thai-themed food truck, inspired both by a national Thai symbol and our own Team Lair: The Flaming Elephant.

The Flaming Elephant will have all of our favorite Thai dishes, served flaming hot.

@Young Sandwich

Damn you sniped me, and probably Cap, bad

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Damn you sniped me, and probably Cap, bad

He didn't, but it's a very good choice. It's basically impossible to snipe someone on this unless they somehow pick the name you were going to use - we could have more than one Thai truck.

 

[Asnito]

He didn't, but it's a very good choice. It's basically impossible to snipe someone on this unless they somehow pick the name you were going to use - we could have more than one Thai truck.

I think by being general in his description he's trying to corner the market on Thai food.

No Thai food in the QV would force me to deploy my secret weapon

 

[mja]

I think by being general in his description he's trying to corner the market on Thai food.

No Thai food in the QV would force me to deploy my secret weapon
View attachment 577772

Do you ever actually read the category descriptions? You're as bad as Defect, worse maybe. Tell you what, we'll let you have a Thai food truck as well, on the condition that you call it The Flaming Idiot.

 

[Young Sandwich]

One final hockey player before we get into the meat and potatoes of this round. This guy has a name that just falls out of your mouth as soon as you start saying it. If the hockey thing doesn't work out, he definitely has a job in the smut industry with a name like that.

Futurehead - Cruz Lucius

@Asnito

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Stay fresh down there, but don't forget to stay fresh up yonder, too.

We start the day with @Young Sandwich on the clock, @Asnito on deck, @JojoTheWhale on the lido deck, and my bro Bernardo on the lido afterdeck.

I was just sitting here minding my own business, and someone liked one of my posts in the Goal Song thread from like last October. In case you have forgotten, that was the thread where the one guy lost his shit over country music, turned into a troll, and attacked Beef and HC for their terrible taste in music BEFORE they had expressed any taste in music beyond hating the Flyers' dumb choices for goal songs. I'm the last one to complain when someone shits on country music, as you well know, but this L'oranje orangutan just went batshit. And to be fair, Beef subsequently went and f***ing defended country music, for which there is no defense. But my point really is that going through a thread from last October is not fresh, so don't do that.

I was thinking about two three other things, also. First, I saw that the Lakers are retiring Pao Gasol's number. What? Not that it matters in the slightest - that league is even more bush and insubstantial than the f***ing NHL, so nothing matters, and the Lakers f***ing suck - but don't they have about a billion guys ahead of Pao in the queue? Every time I see his name, I think of the guy from "Step Brothers."

The second thing on my mind is that I think I have to change my avatar back to the original, because I am pretty sure I have cursed my football team. They have been hammered by a crazy number of injuries for week two of the new season, and it's probably my fault. F***.

The third thing is that the fifth girl came into the Chinese house, and holy f***. My eyes are so happy.

 

[Beef Invictus]

You've got a lot of explaining to do.

No, finally someone has listed an ice cream flavor that's worth a damn.

 

[Rebels57]

Stay fresh down there, but don't forget to stay fresh up yonder, too.

We start the day with @Young Sandwich on the clock, @Asnito on deck, @JojoTheWhale on the lido deck, and my bro Bernardo on the lido afterdeck.

I was just sitting here minding my own business, and someone liked one of my posts in the Goal Song thread from like last October. In case you have forgotten, that was the thread where the one guy lost his shit over country music, turned into a troll, and attacked Beef and HC for their terrible taste in music BEFORE they had expressed any taste in music beyond hating the Flyers' dumb choices for goal songs. I'm the last one to complain when someone shits on country music, as you well know, but this L'oranje orangutan just went batshit. And to be fair, Beef subsequently went and f***ing defended country music, for which there is no defense. But my point really is that going through a thread from last October is not fresh, so don't do that.

I was thinking about two three other things, also. First, I saw that the Lakers are retiring Pao Gasol's number. What? Not that it matters in the slightest - that league is even more bush and insubstantial than the f***ing NHL, so nothing matters, and the Lakers f***ing suck - but don't they have about a billion guys ahead of Pao in the queue? Every time I see his name, I think of the guy from "Step Brothers."

The second thing on my mind is that I think I have to change my avatar back to the original, because I am pretty sure I have cursed my football team. They have been hammered by a crazy number of injuries for week two of the new season, and it's probably my fault. F***.

The third thing is that the fifth girl came into the Chinese house, and holy f***. My eyes are so happy.

He only played 6 seasons for them and even though ranks top 10 in some categories, it's still completely absurd - almost as absurd as building a statue of Dustin Brown. What is in the water in LA? Actually nevermind, they no longer have water. Their brains are dehydrated.

 

[Asnito]

For our Team Creep we have

Do you ever actually read the category descriptions? You're as bad as Defect, worse maybe. Tell you what, we'll let you have a Thai food truck as well, on the condition that you call it The Flaming Idiot.

Actually I just get a general sense of what's required and wing it

 

[Asnito]

For our Team Creeper we wanted someone who was a next level creeper. Only one name came to mind.


@JojoTheWhale swallow that Jagged Little Pill and make a pick.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I want to learn more about the smoked salmon ice cream

 

[Asnito]

I want to learn more about the smoked salmon ice cream

Would you top it with malt vinegar?

 

[Beef Invictus]

Would you top it with malt vinegar?

Good idea

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Hockey will have to wait. I have had an idea that requires two picks, so I will have to vaguely threaten to shank a bitch if necessary. No one is taking it. I'm being dramatic.

What we want from our Team Spokesperson is slightly different from the example given, but we'll make it work. We need an iconic voice doing our produced PR. A sound unmistakable for anyone else. The perfect mixture of education, nostalgia, and Marlboro Reds. The only possible choice is of course John Facenda.

Don't let anyone tell you sports media has to be dumb. NFL Films was dubbing poetry over football clips decades ago.





@BernieParent Eventually I'm going to run out of duck pictures and have to start sending ones with arms. I apologize in advance.

 

[BernieParent]

Hockey will have to wait. I have had an idea that requires two picks, so I will have to vaguely threaten to shank a bitch if necessary. No one is taking it. I'm being dramatic.

What we want from our Team Spokesperson is slightly different from the example given, but we'll make it work. We need an iconic voice doing our produced PR. A sound unmistakable for anyone else. The perfect mixture of education, nostalgia, and Marlboro Reds. The only possible choice is of course John Facenda.

Don't let anyone tell you sports media has to be dumb. NFL Films was dubbing poetry over football clips decades ago.





@BernieParent Eventually I'm going to run out of duck pictures and have to start sending ones with arms. I apologize in advance.

Like this?

"But enough silliness, the owners of the Tampa Bay FireSticks take their QuackVerse drafting very seriously. And we are compelled to continue to select top-quality prospects for the FutureHeads portion before continuing with the more diverse topics. As such, we are pleased to select, from JYP of the Finnish Liiga, goaltender Topias Leinonen.

"Leinonen is a prototypical big goaltender (6'5" 234 lb) who plays big and is rarely beaten by a clean shot. His athleticism and quickness are assets, as are his hockey sense and anticipation."

"We now welcome @Beef Thesaurus to make his next selection."

 

[Beef Invictus]

Glamorous Bernie! Unkempt Bernie! Light Bernie!


I do the pick. The pick is Creeper. The Creeper is

MASON VERGER

I had a couple old-timey picks lined up that I think Magua would have approved of, but if I need to have a creeper around I need to know that they're easily containable. Mason is very containable, since he is not mobile. My other choices would be mobile and thus could be anywhere at any time, and that's unacceptable. As long as I stay out of the pig chamber in my arena's 4th basement, I'll be fine.

@ajgoal ! Cool ajgoal! Screeching ajgoal! ashamed ajgoal!

 

[Magua]

Glamorous Bernie! Unkempt Bernie! Light Bernie!


I do the pick. The pick is Creeper. The Creeper is

MASON VERGER

I had a couple old-timey picks lined up that I think Magua would have approved of, but if I need to have a creeper around I need to know that they're easily containable. Mason is very containable, since he is not mobile. My other choices would be mobile and thus could be anywhere at any time, and that's unacceptable. As long as I stay out of the pig chamber in my arena's 4th basement, I'll be fine.

@ajgoal ! Cool ajgoal! Screeching ajgoal! ashamed ajgoal!

I don’t see anything creepy with this pick. But you do you.