NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread – HISTORIC PHASE TWENTY!

Beef Invictus

Revolutionary Positivity
Dec 21, 2009
130,491
171,207
Armored Train

BiggE

SELL THE DAMN TEAM
Jan 4, 2019
25,086
65,840
Somewhere, FL
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Well, how ya doin’ Jacksonville? I’ll wait til you put the bong down, morons. Jesus Christ, you dirt balls are even stupider than Snuka!!
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I’ll bet you never heard of Kazakhstan, and I know you’ve never heard of soap or deodorant! Anyway, the official international football team of the Methgators is, Kazakhstan! Can I get out of this shithole now?
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Official international football team: TEAM KAZAKHSTAN

Alright @Asnito , now you may go
 

Asnito

Blood Rival to a Briere Simp
Mar 2, 2017
6,965
15,604
For our team Serial Killer we are going to stay close to home. I live with a serial killer that terrorizes the local riff raff.

Over a decade ago I adopted a tiny little stray that was estimated to be about 5 years old. I do not like letting my pets outside unattended but it was obvious within a week that it was either let him out or take him back to the shelter.

I was very apprehensive about it because he was borderline feral, but with a lot of time and effort (several years) he's very happy and has even turned into a lap kitty.

A couple of my neighbors have gardens and he will leave a mess at times but they love him. They described it to me as walking into a scene from the Killing Fields with pieces of mice, moles, squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, snakes and birds strewn about.

The Tijuana Toads Serial Killer is Mr Whiskers.
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@Magua post a picture of your cute little guy and then make a pick
 

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Magua

Entirely Palatable Product
Apr 25, 2016
38,674
161,109
Huron of the Lakes
The Honolulu Ghibli dip back into one of our IPs to get sidekicky with it. We welcome into the fold our Team Sidekick: Alyx Vance

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Hands down my favorite video game companion -- and not only for the simp factor. I'm sure I don't have to explain the over-sexualized, cardboard cutout, juvenile nature of female characters in gaming. The level of detail in her characterization -- in advanced facial modeling, spectrum of emotion, dialogue/voice acting, personality -- was the absolute high bar when Half-Life 2 came out in 2004, along with the sequels. And without a second of cutscenes. She was complex, realistic, badass, integral, all without wandering into Mary Sue territory. She could lead her own game.....and did recently!

Alyx Vance is well versed in matters of weaponry, science, inter-dimensional evil, headcrabs (looking at you Sexpos), and so forth. Yes, she'll do nicely.

*********

@Captain Dave Poulin -- the right pick in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world, Mr. Poulin
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,601
201,357
Tokyo, JP
My sidekick is my favorite from all of the dating shows I have ever watched. Between her tiny ears, and her tiny eyes, and her tiny face, and her hair which would not stay together without straying, and her long slender fingers, and her long slender legs, and the way her whole face creased with dimples when she smiled, and the way she moved so gracefully, I was completely besotted. But it was everything else about her which really did me in. Her laugh, and her jokes, and her boldness, and her empathy, and above all her love for animals makes this veterinarian in real life the perfect sidekick and soulmate. I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a lot of animals. She would be perfectly willing to take care of Asnito's damned good kitty up there, as well as all of mine and all of yours.

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Team Sidekick - Lee Ga Huen (Heart Signal 3)

@ajgoal
 

Asnito

Blood Rival to a Briere Simp
Mar 2, 2017
6,965
15,604
My sidekick is my favorite from all of the dating shows I have ever watched. Between her tiny ears, and her tiny eyes, and her tiny face, and her hair which would not stay together without straying, and her long slender fingers, and her long slender legs, and the way her whole face creased with dimples when she smiled, and the way she moved so gracefully, I was completely besotted. But it was everything else about her which really did me in. Her laugh, and her jokes, and her boldness, and her empathy, and above all her love for animals makes this veterinarian in real life the perfect sidekick and soulmate. I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a lot of animals. She would be perfectly willing to take care of Asnito's damned good kitty up there, as well as all of mine and all of yours.

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Team Sidekick - Lee Ga Huen (Heart Signal 3)

@ajgoal
Wait were we doing sidekicks or soulmates:DD
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,601
201,357
Tokyo, JP
You know there are 72 more of them, right? I can't, really.

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We start the day with @ajgoal on the clock, @BigToe on deck, @Chuck Downie on the lido deck, and Striiker on the lido afterdeck. When Striiker's turn comes up, everyone should tag him one after another. I am pretty sure he is balls-deep in Call of Duty III or something, so we have to make an almighty racket to get his attention.

Since "Transit Love" finished, I headed to China, right, but here's the problem. The site where I found the episodes of "Yes, I Do" only have machine translated subtitles. There is no machine on this planet which can turn Chinese into English. I say "on this planet" because Chinese is basically an alien language to English speakers, and vice versa, so I wouldn't be surprised if aliens could build a machine or program to turn one into another. Not here, though - they are way too different. So I've been watching the first few episodes, and I barely know what is going on. There are a couple of very, VERY scrumptious girls on there, one of them in particular who is going to appear in my pee dreams at some point for sure, and that makes it really difficult (i.e. hard - phrasing) to pause it and hold off watching it until there are better subs (phrasing). But that's what I have done for now.

I found a show called "Shanghai Shared Living," which is sort of a Chinese "Terrace House." While that sounds like a dream, there are two guys on there who are just awful. The one guy is like trying to start his own clothing brand or something, but he is really lazy and useless and has a shitty attitude in general - he said out loud that he joined the show so he could live rent-free for three months. He sucks, basically, but he's nothing compared to the other one. He's a chef, so he's automatically a massive c*** - this is known. He has opened three restaurants, all of which have failed and gone bankrupt, but he is working at another place, or something. This bitch is like the boss of that place, right, and he joined the show to get away from living with all of his employees. On the first day he assigned everyone in the Share House chores and acted like the boss of everyone. He's such a c***. The good thing, though, is that they all already hate him and are ready to push back. I'm looking forward to seeing that.

If any of you can translate Chinese to English, please go do that for "Yes, I Do." I don't know when my patience will run out, and as you know, I will cut a bitch.
 

ajgoal

Almost always never serious
Jun 29, 2015
9,910
28,703
Dear HFboards, please put the reply box above the giant links to threads I don't care about.

Sincerely,

Me

PS, automerge is the worst development ever.

Now that we're past that, we are proud to select our team fanbase. I remember this group being pretty cool, and it includes many of the people I knew in the service as we trained nearby and adopted the college team.

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Bonus: We get Jennifer Lawrence.

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Team fandom: Louisville

@BigToe
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,601
201,357
Tokyo, JP
Dear HFboards, please put the reply box above the giant links to threads I don't care about.

Sincerely,

Me

PS, automerge is the worst development ever.

Now that we're past that, we are proud to select our team fanbase. I remember this group being pretty cool, and it includes many of the people I knew in the service as we trained nearby and adopted the college team.

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Bonus: We get Jennifer Lawrence.

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Team fandom: Louisville

@BigToe

I am a HUGE member of that fanbase in college basketball. Great pick.
 

Captain Dave Poulin

Imaginary Cat
Sponsor
Apr 30, 2015
68,601
201,357
Tokyo, JP
The theme song of "Shanghai Share House" is "Share House" by Hans.

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We start the day with @Striiker on the clock, @pit on deck, @mja on the lido deck, and speaking of drooling brainless weirdos off in his own world, Milord on the lido afterdeck eating guacamole off a maxi pad. Peace!

I'm very bored, but at least there is no glare. This Todd Frazier, who I don't remember as a player, is on ESPN. Did he suffer brain damage in a plate collision or something? Just wondering. It seems like he must have. The next segment on there is about Tampa's Big Baby Bitch - you know, the guy who "prioritizes his family" lmao - is he the first person to simultaneously be a toddler and a deadbeat dad? I think he might be. I wonder if Todd Frazier has any kids, and if he prioritizes them over icing his brain.

Oh, by the way, a f***ing Egyptian cobra escaped from a reptile show here. It wasn't very close to me, and probably hasn't had enough time to reach here yet, but I learned that people can apply for and receive a f***ing license to keep venomous snakes - I had always thought you had to do that illegally if you were that f***ing deranged, but apparently you can do it either way. So that happened.

If you don't hear from me for a while, assume that the c*** has arrived here to complete its mission.

#DarkestTimeline
 

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