NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread – HISTORIC PHASE TWENTY!

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I really try not to be mean to anyone, but I’m in some nutty fanbases and I…can’t quite commit to avoiding it.

Like the time I said comparing DiMaggio and Schilling’s peaks out of context is a little misleading because DiMaggio lost peak time to WWII and I got a nutty screed back that started with the phrase “You sound like a Milennial (Born 1983-1996).” I think about that once every couple weeks. Why were the dates included? What does when I was born have to do with Joe DiMaggio? If I was born in 1982, could I claim victory? Anyway, I’m sorry you can’t have an Ignore list.

Oh wait, I forgot I killed Malcom Gladwell. Yeah, it’s justified.

I have so many questions, but the biggest is why were you called a Millennial for defending DiMaggo? It would be the opposite - they would have skipped my generation and called you a Boomer. People are f***ed.

 

[ajgoal]

You have a pet catfish, and I’m throwing it on the ice. Forget Carrie Underwood for a minute.

Why would you do that?

 

[Magua]

Why would you do that?

 

[ajgoal]

I have so many questions, but the biggest is why were you called a Millennial for defending DiMaggo? It would be the opposite - they would have skipped my generation and called you a Boomer. People are f***ed.

Better question is why would a millennial know about either of them?

kidding

OOOH!

Team Musical!

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I have so many questions, but the biggest is why were you called a Millennial for defending DiMaggo? It would be the opposite - they would have skipped my generation and called you a Boomer. People are f***ed.

The (batshit) answer here is that I was “awarding a participation trophy” by saying the guy fought in WWII instead of playing baseball. I’ll bet you didn’t see that one coming.

 

[ajgoal]

The (batshit) answer here is that I was “awarding a participation trophy” by saying the guy fought in WWII instead of playing baseball. I’ll bet you didn’t see that one coming.

Not really. He played baseball for Army teams in California and Hawaii.

He still missed time due to that commitment, though.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Not really. He played baseball for Army teams in California and Hawaii.

He still missed time due to that commitment, though.

Yeah, Feller was first by far of the biggest stars and did actually fight. Then DiMaggio joined in 44 and there was the whole scandal with Ted Williams. It was a weird time.

DiMaggio was also stationed in Atlantic City of all places.

 

[Lord Defect]

No one said kill. My serial killer would just have to sit in her box. But I'm pretty sure wives/family of players aren't what we meant as "fanbase." No one wants that box opened.

Phrasing

Why would you do that?

There’s a video of a carp online doing something that I’ve never seen Carrie underwood doing. I wish I could unsee it.

 

[Lord Defect]

Better question is why would a millennial know about either of them?

kidding


OOOH!

Team Musical!

I know what I’ll pick already.

 

[Young Sandwich]

There’s a video of a carp online doing something that I’ve never seen Carrie underwood doing. I wish I could unsee it.

Ugh, I've seen that too. f***ing brutal.

 

[BernieParent]

Pretty sure she's been selected twice.

Yup. For a band, and cloned.

I'm just bugging @Magua ... and the Cap'n. Ms. Underwood was my voice character for the mock draft. Nothing to do with the Quackverse, although I did create a clone of her.

 

[Lord Defect]

Ugh, I've seen that too. f***ing brutal.

Of all people you were the one I would have bet the house on having seen it lol

I'm just bugging @Magua ... and the Cap'n. Ms. Underwood was my voice character for the mock draft. Nothing to do with the Quackverse, although I did create a clone of her.

We did voice over characters?
Even if we did which I don’t think we did voice actors we should do it. I have my pick already. Wait. No. I just thought of three more great ones. Damn.

 

[BernieParent]

"For our Team Fan Base, the owners of the Tampa Bay FireSticks are pleased to take the lead of @JojoTheWhale and select the fanbase of the Harlem Globetrotters. Because who isn't a fan of them?

"We are not only bringing into our franchise community fans of amazing basketball shots, dribbling, and tricks, but fans of pure fun, laughter, and family entertainment."

You like family entertainment, don't you, @Hollywood Cannon?

We did voice over characters?

Something like that, for the sillier drafters.

 

[Lord Defect]

"For our Team Fan Base, the owners of the Tampa Bay FireSticks are pleased to take the lead of @JojoTheWhale and select the fanbase of the Harlem Globetrotters. Because who isn't a fan of them?

"We are not only bringing into our franchise community fans of amazing basketball shots, dribbling, and tricks, but fans of pure fun, laughter, and family entertainment."

You like family entertainment, don't you, @Hollywood Cannon?


Something like that, for the sillier drafters.

What the hell did I pick?

 

[Magua]

Team Voice Over Performer.

 

[Lord Defect]

Team Voice Over Performer.

That’s obviously me, behind the scenes. Wait, are we allowed to break the fourth wall?

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

We’re going to select as our Official Stadium Series Location, Hoover Dam. How will that be done? We’re not sure but everyone is invited to take the “Damn Dam Tour.”

@Strawberry Fields you’re up.

 

[Strawberry Fields]

Team tattoo- Where's Waldo? Players and personnel may choose to receive their small Waldo tattoo wherever on the body they would like.

Soccer team- Jamaica. Because if they can win in bobsledding, they can win in soccer, damn it.

Back to you @Hollywood Cannon

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

@BernieParent you can go. I’m too hyped.

 

[Magua]

@pit — Godspeed, Dietrich Mateschitz. The Quackverse awaits.

 

[pit]

Dietrich Mateschitz

RIP Chimps owner. May Red Bull give you wings.

 

[BernieParent]

"The owners of the Tampa Bay FireSticks are very proud to select as our International Football Team the Olympic gold medal-winning (Tokyo 2020) Canadian women's soccer team."

"We turn it back to @Young Sandwich for his next pick."

 

[Young Sandwich]

Forcing an entire organization to get a tattoo is a pretty bad look. We have a solution for that. The members (phrasing) of the Sexpos can get whatever they want, whenever they want, wherever they want.

Team Tattoo - Temporary Tattoo

You want a short-lived tattoo of a bong on your pubis @BiggE ? Go for it, no judgment here.

 

[BiggE]

I just don’t really get it man, why am I still doing this Methgators crap?

You’re the son of a son of a sailor ain’t ya?

Well, yeah..but

More importantly son, do you want Stone Cold to stomp a mud hole in your ass? Like this

Um, no

THEN READ THE DAMN CARD SON!

Yup, yessir, as a true Florida man and a proud Methgator who loves spending time on the water, the official body of water of the Jacksonville Methgators is Florida’s own Lake Okeechobee!


METHGATORS OFFICIAL BODY OF WATER: LAKE OKEECHOBEE

Lake Okeechobee (US: /oʊkiˈtʃoʊbi/),Lake Okeechobee (US: /oʊkiˈtʃoʊbi/),[1] also known as Florida's Inland Sea,[2] is the largest freshwater lake in the U.S. state of Florida.[3] It is the tenth largest natural freshwater lake among the 50 states of the United States and the second-largest natural freshwater lake contained entirely within the contiguous 48 states, after Lake Michigan.

Here it is from orbit

@Asnito , waketh, baketh and a pick you shall maketh

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I'm in no mood to be around people. The #RecluseLife was made for days like these.

We start the day with @BiggE on the clock, @Asnito on deck, @Magua on the lido deck, and myself on the lido afterdeck pondering the pervert's lame non-decision on tattoos. Actually, it's not as lame as I first thought. Initially I thought his degenerate ass would want his skanks and slags inked to f***, but then I realized that would be more on-brand for the Methgators' filthy contingent. Also, the Sexpos tend to pick really scrumptious picks, and it's just as well that they aren't covered in dirty, stupid tattoos. I just thought of a great pick for this category. Not for me - the only reason we have this category is so I could put the "X" on my nakama - but for someone, it would look extremely great. Someone remind me to share later.

I guess the Phillies have a horseshoe up their ass now, eh? I don't really care about either of the teams left in the National League, and I can't stand either of the pricks left in the American League, so you guys might as well go ahead and win. Being honest, I have always thought that Bryce is kind of a complete tool, but it's not a big deal. I understand why you guys would like him. One guy I do like is Schwarber. Well, "like" is the wrong word. I think I respected his ability more than you guys did before the postseason started. That's natural, because I don't watch him strike out all season long and only see him in the postseason, but I have seen him come through in October too many times to doubt him. He's just one of those guys who has big moments in his bat. That f***ing rocket he hit the other day was ridiculous.

Anyway, that's enough sports. I'm going to go back now to pretending that sports don't exist, because sports is a pack of c***s.