NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread – HISTORIC PHASE TWENTY!

[Beef Invictus]

The glare is about to hit me, so I have to make this fast.

I left the order alone yesterday because I wanted to give Jojo a chance to not miss out on early rounds, but also because I am worried about him after the kerfuffle at the airport. He can still go with his picks whenever he is able to come back on, but we'll go back to the order now. We start the day with DancingPanther on the clock, and he is probably picking as I type this, or actually within the hour since he has to drive home and write the dang thing up. @CanadianFlyer88 is on deck, @Beef Invictus is on the lido deck, and @Rebels57 is on the lido afterdeck.

Every time I sit here writing these, something comes up on the TV to irritate me. Every single time. Today it was a commercial with that f***ing turd Nate Burleson. He's a f***ing fool, man. The thing is, every time I am sitting in front of the TV in general, something comes on to irritate me, because everything that comes on is irritating. Last night I was finishing up the first season of this French series called "Le Bureau des Legendes" on my laptop, so I had to find something to leave the TV on, and I chose TNT hockey. I didn't have to listen to their ridiculous panel much, but when I'd get up to go to the bathroom, or when I paused on my lappy to check posts on here, I'd catch some. You know that Liam f***er? That f***er is such a corporate stooge that if you cut him open, he would bleed spreadsheet cells. Seriously, he's basically not even human, like most of the drones you find in most of the offices in most of the places in this country, which is a shithole. And that's without even going into how useless Ass, Piss and Toch are. What a shitshow.

 

[DancingPanther]

We here at Providence are actually vehemently against the serial killer infatuation that is so in vogue nowadays. As a matter of fact, I believe it to be pretty icky. These people were disgustingly heinous, and I never have been and never will be interested in them. Imagine being the family of one of these monsters' victims and having to navigate these documentaries, docudramas, mini-series, docudramaseries....

The Plats do not agree with picking a team serial killer. Therfore, we recall Arnold and his friends needing to collect enough box tops to claim a telescope prize to see Sally's Comet, which passes once every 70 years. So they got to work....

The Plats are proud to select THE HEY ARNOLD GANG as our team cereal killer.

@CanadianFlyer88

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

We here at Providence are actually vehemently against the serial killer infatuation that is so in vogue nowadays. As a matter of fact, I believe it to be pretty icky. These people were disgustingly heinous, and I never have been and never will be interested in them. Imagine being the family of one of these monsters' victims and having to navigate these documentaries, docudramas, mini-series, docudramaseries....

The Plats do not agree with picking a team serial killer. Therfore, we recall Arnold and his friends needing to collect enough box tops to claim a telescope prize to see Sally's Comet, which passes once every 70 years. So they got to work....

The Plats are proud to select THE HEY ARNOLD GANG as our team cereal killer.

@CanadianFlyer88

I very much enjoy this loophole, but it has to be a singular person. is Arnold a good choice?

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

We here at Providence are actually vehemently against the serial killer infatuation that is so in vogue nowadays. As a matter of fact, I believe it to be pretty icky. These people were disgustingly heinous, and I never have been and never will be interested in them. Imagine being the family of one of these monsters' victims and having to navigate these documentaries, docudramas, mini-series, docudramaseries....

The Plats do not agree with picking a team serial killer. Therfore, we recall Arnold and his friends needing to collect enough box tops to claim a telescope prize to see Sally's Comet, which passes once every 70 years. So they got to work....

The Plats are proud to select THE HEY ARNOLD GANG as our team cereal killer.

@CanadianFlyer88

This is very much in line with what I was about to select, myself. However...

I very much enjoy this loophole, but it has to be a singular person. is Arnold a good choice?

This comment makes me think my selection may be no bueno. We'll see....

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

This is very much in line with what I was about to select, myself. However...

This comment makes me think my selection may be no bueno. We'll see....

Just make it singular - I have no problem at all with the loophole.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

The Seattle Sockeyes don't really want to bring a serial killer to the Quackverse, fictional or otherwise. So, as is our nature, we have gone loophole hunting.

Their website says: "Equipped with over 100 cereals from around the world, both dairy and non-dairy milk options and multiple toppings, our kitchen has something for everyone. We encourage you to use your imagination to build the perfect cereal bowl, cereal bun, waffle, ice cream, or milkshake of your dreams."

Seems like a perfect secondary market for our Murphy's smoked salmon ice cream, as well.

Currently with locations only in the Desert Ducks hotbeds of Vegas and Henderson, as well as a place I only just now learned existed called Goodyear, Arizona, we're thrilled to be able to expand its market in the PNW.

For our team serial killer, the Seattle Sockeyes are proud to select The Cereal Killerz Kitchen. The 'z' in place of the 's' lets you know they mean business.

Live look at @Beef Invictus taking the "cereal challenge" of attempting to consume 130 cereals in 60 minutes:

Leafy Onion! Static Onion! Cloudy Onion!

 

[Beef Invictus]

Thank you CF88! Auspicious CF88! Pastoral CF88! Joyous CF88!

For my pick, we select:

M41A Pulse Rifle

The M41 fires armor piercing explosive-tipped caseless ammunition. Fires an enormous 10mm round. It also comes with a pump-action grenade launcher. You can duct tape it to a flamethrower. It sounds cool as hell. It's iconic, and I spent many hours using one in a video game.

@Rebels57

Addicted Rebels! Latter Rebels! Awake (maybe) Rebels!

 

[Rebels57]

I have two goals in selecting Cover Song II for the FOG.

Goal #1 is to not pick a cover so obscure I do not have to search the spreadsheet because I have no easy way to do it that doesn't frustrate me. This is not the fault of the spreadsheet creators. This is my fault.

Goal #2 is to pick a great cover that i'm about 99.99% sure no one has ever heard. I love finding obscure cover songs tucked away on unheralded records I find in the wild.

I have about 5 covers I want to pick here that meet the above criteria, but i'm going to settle on this killer Cover/Medley of The Beatles hits DAY TRIPPER/WE CAN WORK IT OUT by obscure late 60's Garage Psych Rock band FEVER TREE. Most covers of Beatles songs fail, this one does not.

Enjoy.

 

[Lord Defect]

Thank you CF88! Auspicious CF88! Pastoral CF88! Joyous CF88!

For my pick, we select:

M41A Pulse Rifle

The M41 fires armor piercing explosive-tipped caseless ammunition. Fires an enormous 10mm round. It also comes with a pump-action grenade launcher. You can duct tape it to a flamethrower. It sounds cool as hell. It's iconic, and I spent many hours using one in a video game.

@Rebels57

Addicted Rebels! Latter Rebels! Awake (maybe) Rebels!

Please refrain from using the likeness of my team movie character.

It’s also not a laser gun.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Please refrain from using the likeness of my team movie character.

It’s also not a laser gun.

AHem

• Team Laser Gun - I have been gagging to do this one since the beginning. This is something where you can pick a laser gun from some franchise (not Star Wars or anything else which has already been chosen) or find a picture of one online and give it a name. So basically do a Google search and find one you like, unless there is one in a book or somewhere else you like. This is a HANDHELD laser gun, so a laser pistol or a laser rifle would be fine, but a laser cannon would be completely f***ed. It doesn’t necessarily have to be specifically a “laser” gun – if there is some sort of amped-up sci-fi pistol or rifle in a videogame or somewhere that you want, go for it. I think I have finally found a category which Striiker will like.

 

[Lord Defect]

AHem

• Team Laser Gun - I have been gagging to do this one since the beginning. This is something where you can pick a laser gun from some franchise (not Star Wars or anything else which has already been chosen) or find a picture of one online and give it a name. So basically do a Google search and find one you like, unless there is one in a book or somewhere else you like. This is a HANDHELD laser gun, so a laser pistol or a laser rifle would be fine, but a laser cannon would be completely f***ed. It doesn’t necessarily have to be specifically a “laser” gun – if there is some sort of amped-up sci-fi pistol or rifle in a videogame or somewhere that you want, go for it. I think I have finally found a category which Striiker will like.

Weak. Who reads those, honestly?
I would have picked something else. Damnit.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

The Seattle Sockeyes don't really want to bring a serial killer to the Quackverse, fictional or otherwise. So, as is our nature, we have gone loophole hunting.

Their website says: "Equipped with over 100 cereals from around the world, both dairy and non-dairy milk options and multiple toppings, our kitchen has something for everyone. We encourage you to use your imagination to build the perfect cereal bowl, cereal bun, waffle, ice cream, or milkshake of your dreams."

Seems like a perfect secondary market for our Murphy's smoked salmon ice cream, as well.

Currently with locations only in the Desert Ducks hotbeds of Vegas and Henderson, as well as a place I only just now learned existed called Goodyear, Arizona, we're thrilled to be able to expand its market in the PNW.

For our team serial killer, the Seattle Sockeyes are proud to select The Cereal Killerz Kitchen. The 'z' in place of the 's' lets you know they mean business.

Live look at @Beef Invictus taking the "cereal challenge" of attempting to consume 130 cereals in 60 minutes:

View attachment 591239

Leafy Onion! Static Onion! Cloudy Onion!

Look at that hipster douchelord What a tool. Great #Lore. Great pick.

 

[Rebels57]

I think I already chose Sriracha as my condiment but I can't remember...so for the FOG Team Hot Sauce, i'm bringing Tabasco Green Pepper Hot Sauce on board. I absolutely drown Burrito Bowls with this stuff any time I go to Chipotle (which is less and less each year but I digress). This stuff is awesome. Just enough hear to warm you up but make you eager for the next bite.

 

[Rebels57]

Densely Marbled Slab of Kobe @Beef Invictus you are back on the chopping block

 

[Young Sandwich]

I think I already chose Sriracha as my condiment but I can't remember...so for the FOG Team Hot Sauce, i'm bringing Tabasco Green Pepper Hot Sauce on board. I absolutely drown Burrito Bowls with this stuff any time I go to Chipotle (which is less and less each year but I digress). This stuff is awesome. Just enough hear to warm you up but make you eager for the next bite.

View attachment 591245

Tabasco sauce is horrific, and I say that as a hot sauce fan. This stuff is the only exception I've found so far. It's so good that it doesn't deserve to be lumped in with the shithole Tabasco family. Great pick.

 

[Rebels57]

Tabasco sauce is horrific, and I say that as a hot sauce fan. This stuff is the only exception I've found so far. It's so good that it doesn't deserve to be lumped in with the shithole Tabasco family. Great pick.

Yeah I don't like their regular hot sauce either. This is 10000X better.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I'm going to pick. Be prepared.

 

[ajgoal]

I'm going to pick. Be prepared.

Is that your team Disney song?

 

[DancingPanther]

I very much enjoy this loophole, but it has to be a singular person. is Arnold a good choice?

Arnold is the choice then!

 

[Lord Defect]

Arnold is the choice then!

Gerald was so much better

 

[Beef Invictus]

Thank you for picking your pick so that the pick that is next pick is my pick to be picked! Weary Rebels! Previous Rebels! Regular Rebels!

I now pick my Team Hot Sauce. I pick:

Catoctin Mountain Orchard's Three Pepper Lemon Hot Sauce

I do not have a picture. It is made in Thurmont MD. Supposedly. It may be re-labeled. Found it in the Gettysburg Battlefield gift store. Good. Very good. Would drink. You should drink. All things in bottles are beverages my friends. You need only the willpower and courage to make the dream real and achieve The Pleasure.

@CanadianFlyer88

Axiomatic CF88! Best CF88! Tricky CF88!

 

[ajgoal]

All things in bottles are beverages my friends.

You should try some of this 10M HCl I have in my basement.

 

[Beef Invictus]

You should try some of this 10M HCl I have in my basement.

I should. Sounds spicy.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

I almost picked this during our first round of cover songs and, truthfully, it is the first song I always think of when someone mentions covers. A friend of mine was a massive Oasis fan during their peak, which coincided with a period when music television stations actually played music videos.

For some reason this cover exists, notable for the fact that it came out during the success of the original. When we first saw it, we had no idea what we were watching. But it's hilarious. I taunted my Oasis-loving friend with recordings of this song for far longer than would ever be deemed appropriate. This song must be brought to the Quackverse and cover song II has given us the opportunity to do so.

The Seattle Sockeyes are thrilled to select Wonderwall by The Mike Flowers Pops.



After all, @DancingPanther, you're my Wonderwall.

 

[DancingPanther]

It's easy to stray from your roots after making so many selections, and the Plats are excited to use our TEAM TATTOO to return to some of our aborigine-inspired likeness. Though obviously not Aboriginal per se, the themes of a cohesive relationship between the spirit realm, humans, and nature is readily apparent in the lore behind our tattoo, making it a perfect choice.

Introducing the sigil of Raava from the Last Airbender universe:

Possession with this insignia catalyzes the convergence of the human and spiritual essences, the spirit of light and goodness, and the elements of nature. In this state the vessel is all powerful and altruistic.

The Plats use equipment made for the gods, smoke weed grown by the god of weed himself, are invincible, and now are capable of harnessing a god like state of being whenever they want. It's good to be a Plat.

@JojoTheWhale you're doing great and I support you