Sorry for the 6 year bump; a Finnish friend send me the original Reddit post and I died laughing, I hope some of you get some laughs out of the Québec French version (my English isn’t perfect and the French prepositions translate awkwardly into English, so apologies ahead of time)
Mario Lemieux-Mario the Best
Guillaume Latendresse-William the Tenderness
Landon Dupont-Landon from the Bridge
Patrick Roy (roi)-Patrick King
Patrice Bergeron (berger)-Patrick Shepherd
David Perron-Dave Porch that is in front of the front door of house
Joël l’Espérance-Joel the Hope
Adrian Aucoin-Adrian In the corner
Maxime Lapierre-Max thé Stone
Éric Desjardins-Eric from the Gardens
Vincent Lecavalier- Vince the Rider
Éliot Desnoyers-Eliott from near the Walnut Trees
Mathieu Olivier-Matthew Oliver
Thomas Bordeleau-Tom Water’s edge
Jakob Pelletier-Jake Person that makes animal pelts
Raphaël Lavoie-Raphael the Lane
François Beauchemin-Frank Scenic Trail
Pierre-Cédric Labrie (l’abrie)-Peter Cedric the Shelter
Pierre-Luc Dubois-Peter Luke from the Wood
Phillipe Boucher-Phil Butcher
David Desharnais-Dave Harnesses
Alexandre Daigle (d’aigle)-Alex from the Eagle
Francis Bouillon-Frank Broth
Todd Marchant-Todd Actively Walking
Brad Marchand-Brad Merchant
Guy Lafleur-Guy the Flower
John Leclair (L’éclair)-John the Lightning
Simon Després-Simon from the Meadows
Xavier Villeneuve-Xavier New City
Patrice Brisebois-Patrick Breaks Wood
Yvan Cournoyer (Yvan apparent has no English équivalent but comes from the Slavic Ivan, which is John in English)-John Walnut Tree Yard
Connor Bédard (after googling this is apparently an old adjective in royal France to describe someone with a bedaine)-Connor Someone with a Fat Stomach
Jacques Lemaire-Jack The Mayor
Kristopher Letang (L’étang)-Chris the Pond
Normand Rochefort-Person from Normandy region of France Strong Rock
Matt Duchene (du chêne)-Matt from the Oak
Jonathan Deschamps- Jonathan from the Fields
Charline Labonté (la bonté)-Charlene the Kindness
François Saint-Laurent-Frank St. Lawrence
Frédéric L’écuyer-Fred the Squire
Jean-Luc Grand-Pierre- John-Luke Big Peter
Sean Couturier-Sean Fashion Designer
Logan Couture-Logan Design Fashion
Mathieu Darche (d’arche)- Matt from the Arch
Alexandre Carrier-Alex someone who works in a quarry
Alexis Lafrenière (la frêne)- Alexis Someone who lives near Ash Trees
Rod brind’amour-Rod a small portion of love
Samuel Blais (phonetically sounds like blé)-Sam Wheat
Yves Racine (after googling, Yves apparently has no English equivalent, and derives from Yew Tree)-Yew Tree Root
Daniel Paillé-Dan Straw
Nicolas Deslauriers- Nick from the Laurels
Nathan Beaulieu-Nathan Nice Place
Nathan Gaucher-Nathan Left-handed (ironically he’s a right shot)