Injury Report: Vol. II (Updates in First Post) | Fleury, Bortuzzo + Määttä Being Tested for Mumps

[LionelHutz*]

Beau has mumps now?

 

[Coastal Kev]

I predict at least 3 more cases of the mumps for this team.

To be followed by 5 cases of the Measles!!!

 

[IcedCapp]

And then be killed by a falling tree limb after he shanks the last zombie.

"I've made it! Now to find a woman and repopulate the e...

<crash>

Beau Bennett: The end of Mankind

 

[MeticulouslyDishevel]

Pittsburgh Penguins ‏@penguins
Jim Rutherford: “We have one player that has the symptoms for mumps. It is Beau Bennett. We don’t have the tests back yet."

Least surprising news ever.

It had to be Beau...

 

[IcedCapp]

Jim Rutherford: "We have one other player who is showing symptoms. This player hasn't been around another human in a month. In fact, he lives in a clean room. The first media member to correctly guess this player's identity gets a 15-minute interview. Rossi is disqualified."

 

[cassius]

Pretty sure over the past 3 years, I've spent more time monitoring the injury report than actually following the games.

This team's injuries troubles are more drama-packed than a soap opera on primetime

 

[WVP]

I definitely agree with that. I'd much prefer a top 4 of Martin-Letang, Despres-Ehrhoff, Harry/Dumo-Scuderi with Bortuzzo as the number 7 and rotating in. I'd like to say sit Scuds, but that's not going to happen. Anyway, my main point was IF we stay healthy, just go full out for one very good top 6 winger.

Trade Pouliot, 1st, Spaling, even overpay for that winger. I like Pouliot, but he's an asset to me. We should have drafted a winger in that spot anyway. We have a dynamic PP without him and plenty of depth on D. The reason I'd move him over the other guys is because he likely has the most value.

Another big factor - if we re-sign Ehrhoff, between him and Letang a puck moving D/PP specialist like Pouliot will be way, way down on this team's weaknesses through our prime contending years.

D core becomes Letang, Maatta, Ehrhoff, Despres, Scuderi + Harrington and Dumo. That's 7.

 

[CanadianPensFan1]

Jim Rutherford: "We have one other player who is showing symptoms. This player hasn't been around another human in a month. In fact, he lives in a clean room. The first media member to correctly guess this player's identity gets a 15-minute interview. Rossi is disqualified."

LOL Well done, GMJR! Well done!!

 

[Fordy]

at least bennett's mumps and knee are overlapping

 

[ColePens]

Beau's tell-all book will be amazing.

 

[Koempel]

I wonder if BB is already in that phase where he reacts to bad news with hysterical laughter.

 

[ColePens]

On twitter, like 3 injuries/plagues ago, he said it was getting ridiculous. I cannot imagine what he thinks now.

 

[WheresRamziAbid]

at least bennett's mumps and knee are overlapping

Exactly if this were same old Beau the timeline would have been...

1. Come back from injury
2. Play 2 good games and get everyone excited
3. Cough in team salad bar
4. Get diagnosed with super mumps

 

[TheSniper26]

I'm assuming Rutherford wants to just treat this stuff with a healthy dose of paddlins and sodie pops. None of this new age hooey.

 

[Sideline]

I wonder if BB is already in that phase where he reacts to bad news with hysterical laughter.

I saw DK retweet the Penguins and I literally laughed out loud. I felt bad for doing it, but it's absurd. The kid just cannot catch a break. Scratch that; he breaks many bones. Wait don't scratch that, Beau! It might get infected...

 

[Winger for Hire]

I'm assuming Rutherford wants to just treat this stuff with a healthy dose of paddlins and sodie pops. None of this new age hooey.

He has the team on high alert for Smallpox and Polio...

 

[Fordy]

btw that's two players who got vaccinated for the olympics getting mumps

this strain is obviously different than what they were focusing on then. it's open season

 

[billybudd]

@DarrenDreger

According to information from CDC, roughly 15 out of 100 adults with mumps develop meningitis. Mumps can be very dangerous for adults.

https://twitter.com/DarrenDreger/status/544549284050644992

 

[penguins2946*]

https://twitter.com/DarrenDreger/status/544549284050644992

Welp, bye Bennett. That seems just like the stuff that would happen to him.

 

[Captain Hook]

Pittsburgh Penguins ‏@penguins
Jim Rutherford: “We have one player that has the symptoms for mumps. It is Beau Bennett. We don’t have the tests back yet."

Least surprising news ever.

Hilarious.

I can't believe that kid's luck. He'll probably return to the lineup and spontaneously combust on the bench or something.

 

[Allie Kitsune]

When Beau finally comes back, a horde of locusts is going to burst out from beneath the CEC ice and put him through every last one of the biblical plagues...

 

[RehnX]

If we do anything significant in the playoffs; this entire team just deserves the Masterson.

I'm past the point of shock, now I'm just floating by and marveling stupidly. This is truly phenomenal.

 

[T1K]

Not much you can do about the mumps when there's a league-wide epidemic. Hopefully Sid and Beau are the only guys. It's pretty hilarious that of all the players that could've contracted it, Beau was the other one. All jokes aside I really feel bad for the guy.

 

[Winger for Hire]

https://twitter.com/DarrenDreger/status/544549284050644992

So we can just go ahead and assume Bennett will also contract meningitis

 

[Sidney the Kidney]

At this point, I'm more surprised when good things actually happen to Bennett.

I hope none of his teammates ever walk near him during a thunder and lightning storm. With Beau's luck, he'll get struck by lightning, then his ambulance gets into a car accident as it speeds toward the hospital. Then he chokes on the Jell-o they serve him during recovery.