Ugh. That’s always tough. Substance abuse is at thr root of so many personal problems. Hopefully the person you are talking about will seek help at some point .
She has sought help. She goes to the methadone clinic every morning and gets her dose and goes home and calls up the dope man to see what he’s got today.
And yes, I realize the methadone is just part of the never ending regurgitation. I’m just not sure why she even bothers going when she’s gotta do the shit anyway.
I’m really hurt by all of this. She won’t even reply to my messages, probably because she’s high and nodding out and forgets they’re in there. And she never contacts me first. Probably because she’s high and nodding out and forgets I even exist.
I wanna enjoy the playoffs. I have her blocked until the Devils are out. This will ruin the playoffs for me if I don’t. And if she ever realizes she was blocked, which she probably won’t, I’ll make up some BS that I meant to block someone else that’s next to her in my contacts and it was on accident.
I don’t give a f*** how bad it makes me look, how childish it is. This is for MY mental health, this is for MY peace of mind.
If she really wants to contact me or needs me while she’s blocked (she won’t) she can try me on her mom’s number (she won’t) and get ahold of me. But she won’t.
I hope she feels like an asshole. But she won’t because she cares about her drugs more than anything.
I don’t even think I wanna see her when I potentially take a trip up to Jersey in November. I know I will have cooled down by then.
I’m just over this.
And I’ve been feeling way older than my age lately, particularly when I’m resting and not in motion. I’m falling apart and have convinced myself that I have serious health issues. It could just be mental health issues that are tricking me into thinking they’re physical health ailments.
Cutting out the things that trigger me and make me feel worse are needed right now. And that is absolutely one of them.