OT: Relationship Advice Thread

[I Eat Crow]

I miss the early days of online dating. Before the novelty wore off and people raised their standards to absurd levels.

I got out right before Tinder was a thing. That was the beginning of the end. Okcupid/POF was the perfect balance of actually decent selection and for the lulz. After circa 2014, online dating became a cess pool.

 

[aufheben]

I got out right before Tinder was a thing. That was the beginning of the end. Okcupid/POF was the perfect balance of actually decent selection and for the lulz. After circa 2014, online dating became a cess pool.

Tinder became really sleazy but Hinge and Bumble are fine. The problem is no one wants to actually date.

 

[NickyFotiu]

Tinder became really sleazy but Hinge and Bumble are fine. The problem is no one wants to actually date.

I was going to mention that dating and kids have seemed to become less of a priority for some so its not only you.

 

[LokiDog]

Tinder became really sleazy but Hinge and Bumble are fine. The problem is no one wants to actually date.

Comparative paralysis. The quality of the connection usually doesn’t overcome the serotonin hit gained from swiping on new and even more interesting matches. Online dating, even when you get a connection, often doesn’t progress because these women have 40 men to sift through at any given moment. Then, if you’re over 30, the women who are still single and/or have been hurt have become a bit jaded and are often torn between wanting a family and maintaining the independent career woman lifestyle with lots of brunch dates with their girls. It isn’t necessarily that online dating - at least apps like Hinge - have become total cesspools, it’s just that everyone likes the chase and the flirt more than the settling down. Then again, since my wife and I split, I get about 5 matches per day too. And I ain’t settling down.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Comparative paralysis. The quality of the connection usually doesn’t overcome the serotonin hit gained from swiping on new and even more interesting matches. Online dating, even when you get a connection, often doesn’t progress because these women have 40 men to sift through at any given moment. Then, if you’re over 30, the women who are still single and/or have been hurt have become a bit jaded and are often torn between wanting a family and maintaining the independent career woman lifestyle with lots of brunch dates with their girls. It isn’t necessarily that online dating - at least apps like Hinge - have become total cesspools, it’s just that everyone likes the chase and the flirt more than the settling down. Then again, since my wife and I split, I get about 5 matches per day too. And I ain’t settling down.

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear!

 

[NickyFotiu]

Comparative paralysis. The quality of the connection usually doesn’t overcome the serotonin hit gained from swiping on new and even more interesting matches. Online dating, even when you get a connection, often doesn’t progress because these women have 40 men to sift through at any given moment. Then, if you’re over 30, the women who are still single and/or have been hurt have become a bit jaded and are often torn between wanting a family and maintaining the independent career woman lifestyle with lots of brunch dates with their girls. It isn’t necessarily that online dating - at least apps like Hinge - have become total cesspools, it’s just that everyone likes the chase and the flirt more than the settling down. Then again, since my wife and I split, I get about 5 matches per day too. And I ain’t settling down.

I didn't know you split. Sorry to hear that. Are you still in the same city?

 

[effen]

Yeah you met your girlfriend a pretty long time ago IIRC. It’s awful now. Like soul-destroying.

I’ve had Hinge for three months and one person has liked me.

I met my wife when she saw me on a Livestream on Twitch. I had zero idea who she was.

Shit just happens sometimes when you're looking the other way.

 

[RempireStateBuilding]

I miss the early days of online dating. Before the novelty wore off and people raised their standards to absurd levels.

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

 

[CTTribe73]

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

I sit on my ass watching the Rangers at least 50-60 times per year and the Yanks, Mets, Knicks and Giants another couple hundred combined. And the wife is right there with me. I also spend a lot of time reading as does she. So yeah, people do and more than you might think.

(example- I am presently watching the Yankees play a fake baseball game and will remain as such straight on through their prospect exhibition with the Blue Jays. So there’s a solid 4.5-5 hours).

Remember this useful chestnut:

Social media is all about creating the person you want others to believe you are, and carefully covering up the person you actually are.

 

[RempireStateBuilding]

I sit on my ass watching the Rangers at least 50-60 times per year and the Yanks, Mets, Knicks and Giants another couple hundred combined. And the wife is right there with me. I also spend a lot of time reading as does she. So yeah, people do and more than you might think.

(example- I am presently watching the Yankees play a fake baseball game and will remain as such straight on through their prospect exhibition with the Blue Jays. So there’s a solid 4.5-5 hours).

Remember this useful chestnut:

Social media is all about creating the person you want others to believe you are, and carefully covering up the person you actually are.

lmao the last line is why I can't stand social media. Everything shown is some BS'd version of itself. I have a hard time joining that whole song and dance because I don't see the point in effectively lying just to trick someone into being impressed or whatever. I'm glad I have a whole new career to focus on right now instead of chasing people.

 

[aufheben]

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

I feel you man.

Also I hate this rule that you can’t just say “Hi, how are you?”. Meanwhile on Bumble they just sent you the f***ing waving hand emoji.

 

[80s Kid]

I've all but given up on dating. Feels like I have nothing to offer when everyone is looking for these grandiose trips around the world and some ~super exciting~ event every single weekend and 30 mile hikes to "unwind" and white water kayaking and exploring NYC after work and 75 weddings a year for all of their ultra close massive friend group that have all known each other since birth.

Does anyone sit still for like 10 minutes anymore? Does everyone always have to be in a constant state of motion or constantly feel like what they're doing/where they're at is never enough and MUST be escaped at every turn? I understand wanting to go out and planning fun excursions every now and then, but like..f***ing shit. Being a homebody and intense introvert makes meeting anyone new unbearable.

This guy feels your pain...

 

[Ben Grimm]

When choosing a partner, sex, chemistry, looks, and $ aren't the only things that matter. Trust me, you need more.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

So I got married on Saturday. One of the two gifts I received as a gift from my wife was an Adam Fox jersey. Might be hard to believe but I've only had one in my life. It was a lady liberty I bought almost 25 years ago with no name on the back. So it's really cool for many reasons.

 

[will1066]

So I got married on Saturday. One of the two gifts I received as a gift from my wife was an Adam Fox jersey. Might be hard to believe but I've only had one in my life. It was a lady liberty I bought almost 25 years ago with no name on the back. So it's really cool for many reasons.

Coincidentally you also got her a Rangers jersey...

 

[SeanAveryTheGreatOne]

So I got married on Saturday. One of the two gifts I received as a gift from my wife was an Adam Fox jersey. Might be hard to believe but I've only had one in my life. It was a lady liberty I bought almost 25 years ago with no name on the back. So it's really cool for many reasons.

Beautiful! Many blessings to you and your family, Snowblind.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Beautiful! Many blessings to you and your family, Snowblind.

Thank you!

 

[RempireStateBuilding]

So I got married on Saturday. One of the two gifts I received as a gift from my wife was an Adam Fox jersey. Might be hard to believe but I've only had one in my life. It was a lady liberty I bought almost 25 years ago with no name on the back. So it's really cool for many reasons.

Congratulations! You've graduated from this thread.

 

[LokiDog]

Congratulations! You've graduated from this thread.

Student becomes the teacher…

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Picture with my new Rangers jersey in my hotel room before the wedding.

 

[Rangerfan4life90]

Tinder became really sleazy but Hinge and Bumble are fine. The problem is no one wants to actually date.

This. I met my girlfriend on Hinge a little over two years ago and the one I'm pretty sure I'll marry one day (we also moved in together this past March a few months ago). However, it is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, even on the better apps like Coffee Meets Bagel (another one I liked), Hinge, etc.

 

[LokiDog]

Dating apps are largely for hookups. Even the good ones, like Hinge, which I definitely feel has good potential for meeting serious people, is like a 50/50 chance of people still wanting to play the field. It’s decision paralysis. You have a nice first date with someone but the next morning you wake up to likes and messages from all these beautiful people putting their best selves on display - what if they’re better than the person I just went out with?? It creates a perpetual cycle of seeking perfect. And I find plenty of girls who pretend they’re looking for serious ONLY but still sleep with you on the very first night, even off of Hinge, Bumble, etc.

Meanwhile I asked my hairstylist out. The Craine Train does pretty well for himself. Loki taught his old man some new tricks.

 

[RempireStateBuilding]

Dating apps are largely for hookups. Even the good ones, like Hinge, which I definitely feel has good potential for meeting serious people, is like a 50/50 chance of people still wanting to play the field. It’s decision paralysis. You have a nice first date with someone but the next morning you wake up to likes and messages from all these beautiful people putting their best selves on display - what if they’re better than the person I just went out with?? It creates a perpetual cycle of seeking perfect. And I find plenty of girls who pretend they’re looking for serious ONLY still sleep with you on the very first night, even off of Hinge, Bumble, etc.

Meanwhile I asked my hairstylist out. The Craine Train does pretty well for himself. Loki taught his old man some new tricks.

"The Craine Train" f***ing killed me. Good on ya brother, glad things are starting to look up. You guys just look like you get on well together.

I broke my self-imposed restriction on dating after starting to talk to someone on Tinder early last week. I didn't even think she was a real person and just sent some generic-ish message as a shot on the dark and to my surprise, she actually had some depth to her responses. Ended up going out for drinks last Saturday and we hung out for nearly 6 hours, and the only reason the night ended was because I had to go to a friend's birthday celebration. Just saw her again last night for bar trivia, but I could tell she was uncomfortable about something so I told her we could leave and go for a walk, which we did. We were out until nearly 1am talking about some pretty intense shit. Despite both of us bringing up some pretty morbid topics, it was refreshing to hear someone with a non-cookie cutter perspective on things.

It's nice to actually being excited about being around someone again and wanting to hear their opinions/thoughts, instead of just trying to fight off this internal feeling of desperation to not be alone. I really think that feeling of trying to fill a romantic void in my life led me to think any pretty face that paid me any attention was a good match.

 

[SnowblindNYR]

Dating apps are largely for hookups. Even the good ones, like Hinge, which I definitely feel has good potential for meeting serious people, is like a 50/50 chance of people still wanting to play the field. It’s decision paralysis. You have a nice first date with someone but the next morning you wake up to likes and messages from all these beautiful people putting their best selves on display - what if they’re better than the person I just went out with?? It creates a perpetual cycle of seeking perfect. And I find plenty of girls who pretend they’re looking for serious ONLY but still sleep with you on the very first night, even off of Hinge, Bumble, etc.

Meanwhile I asked my hairstylist out. The Craine Train does pretty well for himself. Loki taught his old man some new tricks.


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Where was that first photo taken it has a DD/MM/YY date format?

 

[LokiDog]

Where was that first photo taken it has a DD/MM/YY date format?

A rooftop in Dallas, but it’s probably just some instagram filter.