Salary Cap: Pens '24-'25 Salary Thread: The Crosbicles Volume XIX

[deakka]

There's just no way we will be able to out-suck the very worst teams. Im not sure its possible even on purpose tbh. SJ, CBJ, ANA, CHI are just too bad to beat in the lottery race.

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

There's just no way we will be able to out-suck the very worst teams. Im not sure its possible even on purpose tbh. SJ, CBJ, ANA, CHI are just too bad to beat in the lottery race.

I dunno man. This roster is really, really grim. Crosby not spinning turds into gold every night REALLY drags it all out into the light.

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

A lot of this rings true or at least likely.

But what dipshit jabroni morons consider a flippin' COACH as a franchise crown jewel and a legitimate reason to invest?

Boy I bet those Mike Sullivan jersey sales are just BURIN' up the card readers!

Yeah, I dunno man. Rich people are often dumb as absolute dogshit so who knows. Capitalism brainrot. And the part that sucks is teams don't just change owners regularly. So unless they decide they wanna cut bait and get outta this NHL stuff (that I'm still convinced they only got into so they could have More Things), then we're just stuck with FSG for like the next decade or more. Very cool.

There's just no way we will be able to out-suck the very worst teams. Im not sure its possible even on purpose tbh. SJ, CBJ, ANA, CHI are just too bad to beat in the lottery race.

I think this team's absolutely capable of settling into a top-5 pick if Sid doesn't find his game from last season. They're tied with the Sharks for the worst defensive team in the NHL as far as goals surrendered goes. They have no depth. Their goalie situation's a shitshow. Sullivan is still at the helm.

This team suuuuuuucks. It wouldn't surprise me if they clawed back into WC discussion but it also wouldn't surprise me if they're picking top-3 with a bit of lotto card luck.

 

[SEALBound]

I dunno man. This roster is really, really grim. Crosby not spinning turds into gold every night REALLY drags it all out into the light.

He's gonna go lights out the last quarter of the year to get us the #10ov pick.

 

[deakka]

Yeah, I dunno man. Rich people are often dumb as absolute dogshit so who knows. Capitalism brainrot. And the part that sucks is teams don't just change owners regularly. So unless they decide they wanna cut bait and get outta this NHL stuff (that I'm still convinced they only got into so they could have More Things), then we're just stuck with FSG for like the next decade or more. Very cool.

I think this team's absolutely capable of settling into a top-5 pick if Sid doesn't find his game from last season. They're tied with the Sharks for the worst defensive team in the NHL as far as goals surrendered goes. They have no depth. Their goalie situation's a shitshow. Sullivan is still at the helm.

This team suuuuuuucks. It wouldn't surprise me if they clawed back into WC discussion but it also wouldn't surprise me if they're picking top-3 with a bit of lotto card luck.

yeah. as of now we might be at the same level. But SJ has 0% even pushing for WC spot. I wouldnt be surprised if we go on a run at some poiunt. Will still miss PO ofc, but will pick around 8-12

 

[HandshakeLine]

Is that directed at me good sir?

My answer to that with DOC would be that this team is keeping Sidney Crosby around ergo still theoretically trying to make the playoffs again at some point in the remainder of his career. Given that goal, it's probably not the best idea to trade every single decent player they have. Plus, DOC is still young. Relatively anyhow.

If the return is there though or there's any concerns about being able to re-sign him, then might as well.

Nah, just a general question because we never seem to want to trade any young players, even mid ones like DOC. Plus, let’s be honest, he doesn’t really deserve to be here for this mess.

Haha he means Rust I think.

I don't see why everyone (Crosby evidently included) sees Rust as so essential. He's OK but he's JUST OK and seemingly either always injured or just coming off of one. Not his fault but it's a factor. Rust hasn't moved the needle for years. Hey look at it this way... if the team fails to keep a decent wing next to Sid then he and Malkin will have even more they can relate to each other about!

Or shit at this rate they'll BE each other's only decent player lol

I meant both, tbh. But I like Bob Errey way more than Rust because I hope Rust gets his dick pinched in the zipper every time he takes a piss (and dribbles on his shoes).

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

yeah. as of now we might be at the same level. But SJ has 0% even pushing for WC spot. I wouldnt be surprised if we go on a run at some poiunt. Will still miss PO ofc, but will pick around 8-12

I don't even know if I see this team in the WC discussion unless Sid sorts his shit out real quick. Their best hope is that the rest of the East's basement is also hot trash so someone has to rise to the top of the heap of shit.

 

[Dennis Reynolds]

I'm still not over the fact that they can just send Jarry down without waives.

I get that it's a conditioning stint, but I don't recall "because he sucks" as a valid reason in the past. It's always coming back from injury.

Wild.

 

[deakka]

I don't even know if I see this team in the WC discussion unless Sid sorts his shit out real quick. Their best hope is that the rest of the East's basement is also hot trash so someone has to rise to the top of the heap of shit.

Im not delusional thinking we ca either. But at least i feel we have "one more gear" if Sid starts going beast mode. The other bottom teams dont have a Sid underperforming, they are what they are. But the worst part is that we are alsoe what we are. Not good enough to make the playoffs, not bad enough for a top 3-5 pick

 

[Big Friggin Dummy]

Im not delusional thinking we ca either. But at least i feel we have "one more gear" if Sid starts going beast mode. The other bottom teams dont have a Sid underperforming, they are what they are. But the worst part is that we are alsoe what we are. Not good enough to make the playoffs, not bad enough for a top 3-5 pick

I think this team's closer to where they're at in the standings than not, tbh. I also don't think they're as bad as they seem, but I don't think they're much better at all. They were on their way to picking 7th last spring before an improbable hot streak. /shrug

 

[Jag68Sid87]

Agreed, there are guys here 100% because Sullivan wanted them here. I believe that's why we got Eller, Acciari, and Harkins year. Sullivan got the type of players he wanted to play the system/style/structure he wanted. And, to no ones surprise, it faultered. Hayes is here Sullivan liked him AND we got paid to take him. That was win-win.

How do we know about Gryz though? Is there something legit or is it a strung-out series of assumptions like "well he was on boston, sullivan is from Boston, his son-in-law was on Boston, thus, we signed him"? I wasn't a fan of the signing but it was only 1 year so whatever. I was legit pissed they let POJ go but that may have been more POJ overestimating his market value and maybe even his ability. He's the ideal 3LW for us IMHO and he could have done more potentially. He looked okay as Letang's partner several times (of course the with the occasional gaf here and there). How much of that plays into how much Sullivan did or did not like him? Would Sullivan put him there with Letang if he didn't "like" him? Given it was over Dumo, Petts, and Graves, I have my doubts.

Those other guys, who knows. I don't think Poulin, McGroarty or Pickering would any better or worse off. Poulin's issues are Poulin, not Sullivan. The others are two are debatable. Is your contention that, if a new coach came in, they would be nice to Jesse and Puusty and that would make them happy and play better on the 3rd or 4th line? Or are you saying a new coach would come in and play them over...Rakell? Rust? DOC? And that would make everything better? I think if either of them got top 6 linemates and top 6 playing time, we'd see the natural increase in production that comes with that. We might have to hope for injuries or trades on that front before hoping for a new coach.

I guess it's worth nothing that a significant amount of what is wrong with the team is Sullivan and that nothing changes unless they fire him. Everything else not solely focused on that is a discussion of secondary problems.

Good post. I was going on the assumption that because Matt Grzelcyk went to Boston U, and that is where both Sullivan and Quinn went, that was the main reason why he is here. Hayes went to BC, though. So who knows.

Grz and Beauvillier were one-year deals, so that is not a killer. But they are not playing well, likely reducing what little value they even had, and are not helping us at all. Hayes is now a fourth line winger that we are converting to second-line center again, which sounds like a terrible idea. But we got a pick for him so yay.

At the end of the day, we need real help for this team. We need a legitimate LD to play with either star. We need a legit top-six winger or second-line center, depending on what the plan is for Malkin going forward.

And of course, you guessed it...we still need to get younger.

 

[BlindWillyMcHurt]

Grz and Beauvillier were one-year deals, so that is not a killer. But they are not playing well, likely reducing what little value they even had, and are not helping us at all. Hayes is now a fourth line winger that we are converting to second-line center again, which sounds like a terrible idea. But we got a pick for him so yay.

I'll have you know it was a SECOND round pick, sir. The stuff franchises build their foundation upon, Jags.

 

[Jag68Sid87]

There's just no way we will be able to out-suck the very worst teams. Im not sure its possible even on purpose tbh. SJ, CBJ, ANA, CHI are just too bad to beat in the lottery race.

Furthermore, our division is trash. The Rangers are the only contender. Everybody else either sucks or is a pretender.

Therefore, more Blomqvist magic and Crosby playing more like Crosby (and less like Jeff Carter) and we are far closer to second place in this division than bottoming out to the league basement. And that is WITH all of our known problems.

 

[sauce66871]

A top 10 pick this year and a legitimate shot at McKenna or Björck next year… what the heck, why not?

 

[Andy99]

Omg…Dubas, get Marcus on the next bus outta here if that’s what Maatta goes for…lol

https://x.com/i/web/status/1851459937093718398

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Ryan Graves the new Michael Bunting that you are misreading per 60s on in a small sample?

Daily trolling. What a middle-age life choice.
You planning to continue trying to make people miserable every day until you die?

 

[TKalltheTime]

I’m still laughing my ass off at that Jarry contract, especially considering he’s in f***ing NEPA

 

[Luigi Lemieux]

Firing Sullivan, even if the roster sucks, will have the benefit of boosting trade values. Pettersson is a damn good dman that should fetch a first rounder, but this team's performance is going to tank his value.

 

[SomeDude]

Omg…Dubas, get Marcus on the next bus outta here if that’s what Maatta goes for…lol

Can’t wait until he only manages to get a 3rd and some already drafted in the mid-rounds prospect. You know, because we need these already drafted guys on account we’re gone turn a corner soon.

 

[Ryder71]

Omg…Dubas, get Marcus on the next bus outta here if that’s what Maatta goes for…lol

https://x.com/i/web/status/1851459937093718398

I'll pack his bags, no really!

Can’t wait until he only manages to get a 3rd and some already drafted in the mid-rounds prospect. You know, because we need these already drafted guys on account we’re gone turn a corner soon.

We don't move him unless it's for a 2hd and something else and someone WILL pay that price.