NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Mega-Mock Mini-Expansion Supplemental Mega-Draft!

Beef Invictus

Revolutionary Positivity
Dec 21, 2009
130,240
170,643
Armored Train
Legend LW Shane Doan UFA

I have never been a fan of Doan. He really epitomized the grinding futility of Winnipeg and Arizona. They should name a urinal for him in their YMCA arena or wherever they play. But he's good enough to be my 4LW. He shoots right so therefore he must be moved left to defeat role stereotypes. This move will help him blast dongs with one timers.

@Asnito

Shimmering Asnito! Mendacious Asnito! Translucent Asnito!


@mta I did those myself
 

pit

5th Most Improved Poster
Jun 25, 2005
5,150
20,934
Toronto
Current LW Owen Tippett UFA

He shoots right. Therefore he must be moved left so he can slam home rock-dong one timers. He sucks and has no future but drafting him will make me at least care more about the coming slopshow.

@BigToe

Sunken Toe! Foggy Toe! Skinned Toe!

You can trade him for a fortune to whoever has Frost (probably @Striiker ) because a 3.8 game sample last year proved Frost is only unlocked when given the greatness of Ginger Tippett Jesus.

i-lp8jmH_400x400.jpeg
 

Beef Invictus

Revolutionary Positivity
Dec 21, 2009
130,240
170,643
Armored Train
Current C Andrew Poturalski UFA

Oh yeah. Here comes the Pot. Pot boy Pol Pot. This dude may be 28, sure, and have made no impact in the NHL so far. But he is ripping the AHL up. I suspect maybe Carolina was just too hard a roster to crack, but now he's in Seattle and he's going to have a dong explosion. Or not.

His portrait?

exheelfkejm71.png


@BigToe

Pink Toe! Huge Toe! Scared Toe!
 

Beef Invictus

Revolutionary Positivity
Dec 21, 2009
130,240
170,643
Armored Train
Current RW Pierre-Edouard Bellemare UFA

Hi! We know PEB! His shot is decent. But for some reason, he is playing on the left side. This limits his one timer opportunities. It is small thinking. It is traditional role type thinking. We live to defeat tradition. To overthrow it. Now he is our RW.

A childhood photo:

stories-in-the-dark-illustration_1024x1024.jpg


@Asnito

Obvious Asnito! Quick Asnito! Waggish Asnito!
 

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