NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE TWENTY-THREE SKIDOO!

[ajgoal]

You sir, get double what Voynov gets. You didn't want her to suffer, after all, it was your doing to begin with. You deserve all the pain we can heap on you.

Spite Hockey Player 4: Clayton Whittemore (F)

@GKJ

 

[GKJ]

Spite Forward - Chris Gratton

Anyone who grew up in the 90's knows about this one, whether it be the arduous process it was to get him, the poor handling of him while he was here, or him mailing it in after the contract Clarke gave him. And then we traded him back to Tampa, who eventually moved him to the Sabres - who I do not like - and then torched us some in the 2002 playoffs.

Clarke managed to make 2 great trades though, to which that tree is still running here.

@pit

 

[pit]

I have had a pretty good string of giant d**kholes on my spite team, but this last pick is for me.

I don't think it needs any introduction or rationale. You all suffered through his time here as well.

Spite D - Dave Hakstol

@Magua

 

[Beef Invictus]

I have had a pretty good string of giant d**kholes on my spite team, but this last pick is for me.

I don't think it needs any introduction or rationale. You all suffered through his time here as well.

Spite D - Dave Hakstol

@Magua

I'm watching his Kraken decide a one goal lead against the Avalanche is good enough as they sit back in their shell and only have one forechecker when not on the rush.

Yeah, good luck with that in a seven game series.

 

[Magua]

I'm too deep into this theme to stop now.

The Honolulu Ghibli dump bullet ants on our next Team Spite Player: Ian Laperriere (F)

This blockhead turned a single season and single blocked shot into an 11 year (and counting!) job with the Earth Prime Flyers. Director of Player Development.....NHL PK coach......AHL head coach. He's had the Midas Poop Touch with every area of this organization to which he's failed upwards. The fact he's still floating in this dirty toilet bowl while on his FOURTH general manager shows what a roach motel that shithole is.

He can get hit in the face with as many pucks as he wants in the Quackverse. It won't even get him out of the dungeon.

*****

@Striiker -- do me proud, kid

 

[Striiker]

Classic Actor - John Cleese

@BiggE

 

[BiggE]

Spite goalie: KEN DRYDEN

What a pompous douchenozzle this clown is! First off, he is ridiculously overrated. The guy played behind 3 hall of fame Dmen and a supremely deep and talented group of fowards. He was rarely, if ever screened, and if he saw 2 quality shots in a game it was a lot. He was also chickenshit as he quit the game in his prime because he knew the team in front of him was aging and he’d actually have to start working for a living. Sorry, but any average NHL goalie of that era could have won Cups behind those Habs squads.

But you know what’s worse? His holier than thou whining and criticisms! WAAUGH, Scotty Bowman was mean, WAAUGH, the fans in Montreal were too critical, WAAUGH, the Flyers played too rough. FFS, this twat whines about everything. Oh, and he loves to remind people that he went to Cornell. Hey Ken, big f***ing deal! Cuck Fletcher went to Harvard and he’s a moron so FU and your Ivy League education! Lastly, he’s a f***ing lawyer and politician, stone cold proof that he’s an massive gaping asshole.

I hope he enjoys playing goal at the bottom of some random methane gas ocean in the furthest reaches of the Quackverse!

@Rebels57 , wake, bake and find a spited asshole to take.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

So many picks! F***'s sake!

We start the day with @Rebels57 on the clock, @CanadianFlyer88 on deck, @Chuck Downie on the lido deck, and we are already back to Milord's dumb ass on the lido afterdeck.

That is an almost unprecedented number of picks since I last checked, but there are some great ones in there. That piglet pigboy MacandCheeseAvoy, that supercreep uberc*** Ulf - one of many pricks this stupid organization welcomed into the fold after he f***ed with us endlessly - douchelord Dan Hakstok. Almost no one is choosing the "weaken your rivals" route, but that's fine. The important thing is the expression of spite and the implementation of punishment.

I have to go log all these logs, so that's what I am going to do.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Spite goalie: KEN DRYDEN
View attachment 691669
What a pompous douchenozzle this clown is! First off, he is ridiculously overrated. The guy played behind 3 hall of fame Dmen and a supremely deep and talented group of fowards. He was rarely, if ever screened, and if he saw 2 quality shots in a game it was a lot. He was also chickenshit as he quit the game in his prime because he knew the team in front of him was aging and he’d actually have to start working for a living. Sorry, but any average NHL goalie of that era could have won Cups behind those Habs squads.

But you know what’s worse? His holier than thou whining and criticisms! WAAUGH, Scotty Bowman was mean, WAAUGH, the fans in Montreal were too critical, WAAUGH, the Flyers played too rough. FFS, this twat whines about everything. Oh, and he loves to remind people that he went to Cornell. Hey Ken, big f***ing deal! Cuck Fletcher went to Harvard and he’s a moron so FU and your Ivy League education! Lastly, he’s a f***ing lawyer and politician, stone cold proof that he’s an massive gaping asshole.

I hope he enjoys playing goal at the bottom of some random methane gas ocean in the furthest reaches of the Quackverse!

@Rebels57 , wake, bake and find a spited asshole to take.

This is the stuff

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I'm watching his Kraken decide a one goal lead against the Avalanche is good enough as they sit back in their shell and only have one forechecker when not on the rush.

Yeah, good luck with that in a seven game series.

Maximum Pain ™

 

[Rebels57]

Spite D

Charlie McAvoy

He has an annoying face, plus he's actually good so it'll be a benefit to have his stats nerfed in my arena.
View attachment 691035

@Asnito

Look at this fat f***

 

[Rebels57]

FOG Spite F #2 - JOE THORNTON

My least favorite star player ever.

After continually coming up small in big moments in the playoffs in his prime, he then bounced around from Toronto to Florida hoping he could slither his name onto the Cup off of the backs of others hard work.

Additionally, his f***ing beard is grotesque, and the fact that he only did it because of the attention Burns' beard was garnering in San Jose makes it even more annoying.

Oh and the whole "If I scored 4 goals I would be whipping out my cock and stroking it" joke he made after Hertl's 4 goals game? It wasn't funny. It was f***ing weird.

@CanadianFlyer88 you are up good sir

 

[DancingPanther]

 

[Beef Invictus]

Maximum Pain ™

Look at that point right after the halfway break in the second. I'm positive that's when I posted in the Misc Thread about how the center back as a third dman in the OZ signals the Hakshell is in effect. That's when they lost control of the game and Grubabdbabauar saved them.

He's still more aggressive than he once was. Which on further reflection, I'm pretty sure is because the team was pushing him to be even more safe than he already is. This is a team that tried to make Lavi and AV into defense-first coaches before finally just hiring the embodiment of that shit. There's just no way they haven't been banging their coach's heads demanding more defense for years. It's all the same people of the same mind over and over running the show.

I'm pretty sure Seattle is a team Trotz could do things with.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

View attachment 691752

Look at that point right after the halfway break in the second. I'm positive that's when I posted in the Misc Thread about how the center back as a third dman in the OZ signals the Hakshell is in effect. That's when they lost control of the game and Grubabdbabauar saved them.

He's still more aggressive than he once was. Which on further reflection, I'm pretty sure is because the team was pushing him to be even more safe than he already is. This is a team that tried to make Lavi and AV into defense-first coaches before finally just hiring the embodiment of that shit. There's just no way they haven't been banging their coach's heads demanding more defense for years. It's all the same people of the same mind over and over running the show.

Sir, this is the Quackverse and the first tenant of the Quackverse is that Hockey Is Stupid.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Sir, this is the Quackverse and the first tenant of the Quackverse is that Hockey Is Stupid.

I'm trying to explain that hockey is stupid

What can be stupider than switching from a Thing That Works to a Thing That Doesn't and putting all your faith in the sturdiness of Grubabebaydhrbaboghaker?

 

[JojoTheWhale]

What can be stupider than switching from a Thing That Works to a Thing That Doesn't and putting all your faith in the sturdiness of Grubabebaydhrbaboghaker?

There’s only one answer here and it’s College Football Superfans. I saw a post this morning from a Clemson fan saying Dabo doesn’t get kids from Catholic Schools because the Pope recruits for Notre Dame. Every day, there’s a joy this nutty. I love it so much.

 

[Beef Invictus]

There’s only one answer here and it’s College Football Superfans. I saw a post this morning from a Clemson fan saying Dabo doesn’t get kids from Catholic Schools because the Pope recruits for Notre Dame. Every day, there’s a joy this nutty. I love it so much.

I had to leave CFB discussion. It was too stupid.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I had to leave CFB discussion. It was too stupid.

Army is moving to the Shotgun, Beef. The world is about to end and you weren’t even aware.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Army is moving to the Shotgun, Beef. The world is about to end and you weren’t even aware.

I believe that about as much as if you told me the Flyers value offense.

 

[Striiker]

Reading any sports fans opinion on twitter:

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

Spite forward #1: this guy is as milquetoast a star as there could be in the league. A former first overall pick, he has put together what will likely be a hall of fame career without ever dominating NHL like he was tipped to do as one of the few Canadian junior players to be granted exceptional status to join the OHL as an underager.

What bothers me most about him is that he's not only likely to get into the Hall, but he is almost certainly going to get in on the first ballot... despite having an arguably less impressive career than Claude Giroux, who I am not convinced will be voted into the Hall while absolutely deserving it.

I will never not link these two players together and it really grinds my gears that G doesn't get the respect that this boring ass "superstar" gets.

The Seattle Sockeyes are thrilled to spite John Tavares, who isn't even the best athlete named John Tavares in his own family.

@Chuck Downie

 

[Striiker]

Spite forward #1: this guy is as milquetoast a star as there could be in the league. A former first overall pick, he has put together what will likely be a hall of fame career without ever dominating NHL like he was tipped to do as one of the few Canadian junior players to be granted exceptional status to join the OHL as an underager.

What bothers me most about him is that he's not only likely to get into the Hall, but he is almost certainly going to get in on the first ballot... despite having an arguably less impressive career than Claude Giroux, who I am not convinced will be voted into the Hall despite absolutely deserving it.

I will never not link these two players together and it really grinds my gears that G doesn't get the respect that this boring ass "superstar" gets.

The Seattle Sockeyes are thrilled to spite John Tavares, who isn't even the best athlete named John Tavares in his own family.

View attachment 691796

@Chuck Downie

Giroux > Patrick > Tavares

 

[Beef Invictus]

Spite forward #1: this guy is as milquetoast a star as there could be in the league. A former first overall pick, he has put together what will likely be a hall of fame career without ever dominating NHL like he was tipped to do as one of the few Canadian junior players to be granted exceptional status to join the OHL as an underager.

What bothers me most about him is that he's not only likely to get into the Hall, but he is almost certainly going to get in on the first ballot... despite having an arguably less impressive career than Claude Giroux, who I am not convinced will be voted into the Hall while absolutely deserving it.

I will never not link these two players together and it really grinds my gears that G doesn't get the respect that this boring ass "superstar" gets.

The Seattle Sockeyes are thrilled to spite John Tavares, who isn't even the best athlete named John Tavares in his own family.

View attachment 691796

@Chuck Downie

That obnoxious Toews tier of player that is paid way out of whack relative to comparable peers.

His cap hit is 11. McDavid's is 12.5. these creatures are not 1.5 mil apart.

 

[Chuck Downie]

Spite F

Wes Walz

@Lord Defect