NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - FRESH DOWN THERE PHASE NINETEEN!

[ajgoal]

He has a good, strong name.

Futurehead take 2, #4: Vsevolod Komarov

@Beef Invictus

 

[Beef Invictus]

He has a good, strong name.

Futurehead take 2, #4: Vsevolod Komarov

@Beef Invictus

I already took him

You people need to get out of my Fifth Round

 

[ajgoal]

JFC. I searched like 15 names and he was the first one I didn't find.

Go ahead. I'm stuck here.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I wish ajgoal luck while he finds a pick that isn't from my own personal fifth round. Evasive ajgoal! Decorous ajgoal! Obeisant ajgoal!

It is now time to unveil my food truck. You have all been thinking small. While you've thought small, I've built big. The Mutineers' engineering and marketing teams have been hard at work, and now we unveil the truck we have worked hard on. It is named:

MEAT

MEAT is not built in a normal, feeble food truck body. To construct the feeding powerhouse that is MEAT, the Mutineers have purchased an 80-foot double tractor trailer and converted it into a food factory. You know, one of these:

MEAT serves meat. All kinds of meat. It is equipped with flat tops, charcoal grills, smokers, fryers, ovens, broilers. MEAT does not serve vegetables, except for the honorable potato. The potato is an honorary meat. Here is a quick rundown of the meats available at MEAT:

-Steaks of all varieties
-Burgers
-Smoked Brisket
-Fried Chicken/Chicken Wings
-Smoked turkey legs
-Pulled Pork, with sauces
-Burnt Ends
-Grilled lamb
-Smoked salmon
-Grilled shrimp
-Lobster and crab
-Long Pork Burgers
-Smoked meatloaf
-Pastrami
-Pork chops
-Grilled chicken, wide variety of flavors and marinades
-Meat flights (on a stick!)
-Sausages (Mild/Hot italian, chorizo, bratwurst, kielbasa, bangers, hot dogs, knackwurst)
-Free wagyu steak tartare (More on this in a moment)

Salad:
-Croutons and bacon bits soaked in Ken's Lite Caesar with shredded cheese

Dessert:
-Bacon
-Pipe smoking (only aromatics)

Beverages:
-Grog (Two pints of rum mixed with lime juice. It is healthy because it fights off scurvy. Served in complimentary recycled and organically sourced human skull)
-Malt Vinegar
-All sauces and condiments can also be dranken

Now, let's get into the experience of dining at MEAT. There is a squad of two dozen scantily clad musclebound Himbos and Bimbos who will wander around cheering people on as they eat their meats and drink their Grog. Massive speakers will pump out electronic dance music at disorienting volumes. Fog machines will pump out enough fog that diners can eat and grind on each other in comforting anonymity. With that much fog, you need lasers, so a high-powered laser show will blast through the fog in all directions. By holding their mouths open, they can occasionally catch steak tartare fired out of the meatcannon. The meatcannon is a salvaged naval 24 pounder on top of MEAT that is loaded with steak tartare and fired into the crowd; with proper drilling, staff should be able to fire every 90 seconds. I did look into mounting two cannons to fire at intervals reducing time between complimentary meat distribution, but my accountants assure me this isn't cost effective.

The drivetrain has been replaced with a 35MW gas turbine generously stolen from the US Navy. It can achieve a cruising speed of 300mph (That's 482.803 in Celsius) so that it can always make any away game. Mutineers fans will never be bereft of MEAT.

I tried hard to illustrate the experience but my Paint skills aren't up to snuff.

Fabulous @BernieParent ! Temporary BernieParent! Glistening BernieParent!

 

[BiggE]

I wish ajgoal luck while he finds a pick that isn't from my own personal fifth round. Evasive ajgoal! Decorous ajgoal! Obeisant ajgoal!

It is now time to unveil my food truck. You have all been thinking small. While you've thought small, I've built big. The Mutineers' engineering and marketing teams have been hard at work, and now we unveil the truck we have worked hard on. It is named:

MEAT

MEAT is not built in a normal, feeble food truck body. To construct the feeding powerhouse that is MEAT, the Mutineers have purchased an 80-foot double tractor trailer and converted it into a food factory. You know, one of these:

MEAT serves meat. All kinds of meat. It is equipped with flat tops, charcoal grills, smokers, fryers, ovens, broilers. MEAT does not serve vegetables, except for the honorable potato. The potato is an honorary meat. Here is a quick rundown of the meats available at MEAT:

-Steaks of all varieties
-Burgers
-Smoked Brisket
-Fried Chicken/Chicken Wings
-Smoked turkey legs
-Pulled Pork, with sauces
-Burnt Ends
-Grilled lamb
-Smoked salmon
-Grilled shrimp
-Lobster and crab
-Long Pork Burgers
-Smoked meatloaf
-Pastrami
-Pork chops
-Grilled chicken, wide variety of flavors and marinades
-Meat flights (on a stick!)
-Sausages (Mild/Hot italian, chorizo, bratwurst, kielbasa, bangers, hot dogs, knackwurst)
-Free wagyu steak tartare (More on this in a moment)

Salad:
-Croutons and bacon bits soaked in Ken's Lite Caesar with shredded cheese

Dessert:
-Bacon
-Pipe smoking (only aromatics)

Beverages:
-Grog (Two pints of rum mixed with lime juice. It is healthy because it fights off scurvy. Served in complimentary recycled and organically sourced human skull)
-Malt Vinegar
-All sauces and condiments can also be dranken

Now, let's get into the experience of dining at MEAT. There is a squad of two dozen scantily clad musclebound Himbos and Bimbos who will wander around cheering people on as they eat their meats and drink their Grog. Massive speakers will pump out electronic dance music at disorienting volumes. Fog machines will pump out enough fog that diners can eat and grind on each other in comforting anonymity. With that much fog, you need lasers, so a high-powered laser show will blast through the fog in all directions. By holding their mouths open, they can occasionally catch steak tartare fired out of the meatcannon. The meatcannon is a salvaged naval 24 pounder on top of MEAT that is loaded with steak tartare and fired into the crowd; with proper drilling, staff should be able to fire every 90 seconds. I did look into mounting two cannons to fire at intervals reducing time between complimentary meat distribution, but my accountants assure me this isn't cost effective.

The drivetrain has been replaced with a 35MW gas turbine generously stolen from the US Navy. It can achieve a cruising speed of 300mph (That's 482.803 in Celsius) so that it can always make any away game. Mutineers fans will never be bereft of MEAT.

I tried hard to illustrate the experience but my Paint skills aren't up to snuff.

Fabulous @BernieParent ! Temporary BernieParent! Glistening BernieParent!

 

[DancingPanther]

I wish ajgoal luck while he finds a pick that isn't from my own personal fifth round. Evasive ajgoal! Decorous ajgoal! Obeisant ajgoal!

It is now time to unveil my food truck. You have all been thinking small. While you've thought small, I've built big. The Mutineers' engineering and marketing teams have been hard at work, and now we unveil the truck we have worked hard on. It is named:

MEAT

MEAT is not built in a normal, feeble food truck body. To construct the feeding powerhouse that is MEAT, the Mutineers have purchased an 80-foot double tractor trailer and converted it into a food factory. You know, one of these:

MEAT serves meat. All kinds of meat. It is equipped with flat tops, charcoal grills, smokers, fryers, ovens, broilers. MEAT does not serve vegetables, except for the honorable potato. The potato is an honorary meat. Here is a quick rundown of the meats available at MEAT:

-Steaks of all varieties
-Burgers
-Smoked Brisket
-Fried Chicken/Chicken Wings
-Smoked turkey legs
-Pulled Pork, with sauces
-Burnt Ends
-Grilled lamb
-Smoked salmon
-Grilled shrimp
-Lobster and crab
-Long Pork Burgers
-Smoked meatloaf
-Pastrami
-Pork chops
-Grilled chicken, wide variety of flavors and marinades
-Meat flights (on a stick!)
-Sausages (Mild/Hot italian, chorizo, bratwurst, kielbasa, bangers, hot dogs, knackwurst)
-Free wagyu steak tartare (More on this in a moment)

Salad:
-Croutons and bacon bits soaked in Ken's Lite Caesar with shredded cheese

Dessert:
-Bacon
-Pipe smoking (only aromatics)

Beverages:
-Grog (Two pints of rum mixed with lime juice. It is healthy because it fights off scurvy. Served in complimentary recycled and organically sourced human skull)
-Malt Vinegar
-All sauces and condiments can also be dranken

Now, let's get into the experience of dining at MEAT. There is a squad of two dozen scantily clad musclebound Himbos and Bimbos who will wander around cheering people on as they eat their meats and drink their Grog. Massive speakers will pump out electronic dance music at disorienting volumes. Fog machines will pump out enough fog that diners can eat and grind on each other in comforting anonymity. With that much fog, you need lasers, so a high-powered laser show will blast through the fog in all directions. By holding their mouths open, they can occasionally catch steak tartare fired out of the meatcannon. The meatcannon is a salvaged naval 24 pounder on top of MEAT that is loaded with steak tartare and fired into the crowd; with proper drilling, staff should be able to fire every 90 seconds. I did look into mounting two cannons to fire at intervals reducing time between complimentary meat distribution, but my accountants assure me this isn't cost effective.

The drivetrain has been replaced with a 35MW gas turbine generously stolen from the US Navy. It can achieve a cruising speed of 300mph (That's 482.803 in Celsius) so that it can always make any away game. Mutineers fans will never be bereft of MEAT.

I tried hard to illustrate the experience but my Paint skills aren't up to snuff.

Fabulous @BernieParent ! Temporary BernieParent! Glistening BernieParent!

Amazing. Just amazing, bif

 

[DancingPanther]

I wish ajgoal luck while he finds a pick that isn't from my own personal fifth round. Evasive ajgoal! Decorous ajgoal! Obeisant ajgoal!

It is now time to unveil my food truck. You have all been thinking small. While you've thought small, I've built big. The Mutineers' engineering and marketing teams have been hard at work, and now we unveil the truck we have worked hard on. It is named:

MEAT

MEAT is not built in a normal, feeble food truck body. To construct the feeding powerhouse that is MEAT, the Mutineers have purchased an 80-foot double tractor trailer and converted it into a food factory. You know, one of these:

MEAT serves meat. All kinds of meat. It is equipped with flat tops, charcoal grills, smokers, fryers, ovens, broilers. MEAT does not serve vegetables, except for the honorable potato. The potato is an honorary meat. Here is a quick rundown of the meats available at MEAT:

-Steaks of all varieties
-Burgers
-Smoked Brisket
-Fried Chicken/Chicken Wings
-Smoked turkey legs
-Pulled Pork, with sauces
-Burnt Ends
-Grilled lamb
-Smoked salmon
-Grilled shrimp
-Lobster and crab
-Long Pork Burgers
-Smoked meatloaf
-Pastrami
-Pork chops
-Grilled chicken, wide variety of flavors and marinades
-Meat flights (on a stick!)
-Sausages (Mild/Hot italian, chorizo, bratwurst, kielbasa, bangers, hot dogs, knackwurst)
-Free wagyu steak tartare (More on this in a moment)

Salad:
-Croutons and bacon bits soaked in Ken's Lite Caesar with shredded cheese

Dessert:
-Bacon
-Pipe smoking (only aromatics)

Beverages:
-Grog (Two pints of rum mixed with lime juice. It is healthy because it fights off scurvy. Served in complimentary recycled and organically sourced human skull)
-Malt Vinegar
-All sauces and condiments can also be dranken

Now, let's get into the experience of dining at MEAT. There is a squad of two dozen scantily clad musclebound Himbos and Bimbos who will wander around cheering people on as they eat their meats and drink their Grog. Massive speakers will pump out electronic dance music at disorienting volumes. Fog machines will pump out enough fog that diners can eat and grind on each other in comforting anonymity. With that much fog, you need lasers, so a high-powered laser show will blast through the fog in all directions. By holding their mouths open, they can occasionally catch steak tartare fired out of the meatcannon. The meatcannon is a salvaged naval 24 pounder on top of MEAT that is loaded with steak tartare and fired into the crowd; with proper drilling, staff should be able to fire every 90 seconds. I did look into mounting two cannons to fire at intervals reducing time between complimentary meat distribution, but my accountants assure me this isn't cost effective.

The drivetrain has been replaced with a 35MW gas turbine generously stolen from the US Navy. It can achieve a cruising speed of 300mph (That's 482.803 in Celsius) so that it can always make any away game. Mutineers fans will never be bereft of MEAT.

I tried hard to illustrate the experience but my Paint skills aren't up to snuff.

Fabulous @BernieParent ! Temporary BernieParent! Glistening BernieParent!

Girl says "wow. That's good. What else would you expect from the man named beef Invictus, but meat"

 

[Striiker]

Girl says "wow. That's good. What else would you expect from the man named beef Invictus, but meat"

What's her take on the Giroux/Clarke/70's hockey topic?

 

[DancingPanther]

What's her take on the Giroux/Clarke/70's hockey topic?

She said yes!!

....Giroux is "way better than any "old guy. I mean, they're old"

 

[Striiker]

She said yes!!

....Giroux is "way better than any "old guy. I mean, they're old"

Surely she must have meant “way better than any old guy… except the venerable Ross Lonsberry”, right?

 

[Surrounded By Ahos]

-Long Pork Burgers

Are these locally sourced? Nothing worse than frozen long pork.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Are these locally sourced? Nothing worse than frozen long pork.

No, there's an international intern program for that. So imported, but not frozen.

 

[Magua]

It is now time to unveil my food truck. You have all been thinking small. While you've thought small, I've built big. The Mutineers' engineering and marketing teams have been hard at work, and now we unveil the truck we have worked hard on. It is named:

MEAT

MEAT is not built in a normal, feeble food truck body. To construct the feeding powerhouse that is MEAT, the Mutineers have purchased an 80-foot double tractor trailer and converted it into a food factory. You know, one of these:

MEAT serves meat. All kinds of meat. It is equipped with flat tops, charcoal grills, smokers, fryers, ovens, broilers. MEAT does not serve vegetables, except for the honorable potato. The potato is an honorary meat. Here is a quick rundown of the meats available at MEAT:

-Steaks of all varieties
-Burgers
-Smoked Brisket
-Fried Chicken/Chicken Wings
-Smoked turkey legs
-Pulled Pork, with sauces
-Burnt Ends
-Grilled lamb
-Smoked salmon
-Grilled shrimp
-Lobster and crab
-Long Pork Burgers
-Smoked meatloaf
-Pastrami
-Pork chops
-Grilled chicken, wide variety of flavors and marinades
-Meat flights (on a stick!)
-Sausages (Mild/Hot italian, chorizo, bratwurst, kielbasa, bangers, hot dogs, knackwurst)
-Free wagyu steak tartare (More on this in a moment)

Salad:
-Croutons and bacon bits soaked in Ken's Lite Caesar with shredded cheese

Dessert:
-Bacon
-Pipe smoking (only aromatics)

Beverages:
-Grog (Two pints of rum mixed with lime juice. It is healthy because it fights off scurvy. Served in complimentary recycled and organically sourced human skull)
-Malt Vinegar
-All sauces and condiments can also be dranken

Now, let's get into the experience of dining at MEAT. There is a squad of two dozen scantily clad musclebound Himbos and Bimbos who will wander around cheering people on as they eat their meats and drink their Grog. Massive speakers will pump out electronic dance music at disorienting volumes. Fog machines will pump out enough fog that diners can eat and grind on each other in comforting anonymity. With that much fog, you need lasers, so a high-powered laser show will blast through the fog in all directions. By holding their mouths open, they can occasionally catch steak tartare fired out of the meatcannon. The meatcannon is a salvaged naval 24 pounder on top of MEAT that is loaded with steak tartare and fired into the crowd; with proper drilling, staff should be able to fire every 90 seconds. I did look into mounting two cannons to fire at intervals reducing time between complimentary meat distribution, but my accountants assure me this isn't cost effective.

The drivetrain has been replaced with a 35MW gas turbine generously stolen from the US Navy. It can achieve a cruising speed of 300mph (That's 482.803 in Celsius) so that it can always make any away game. Mutineers fans will never be bereft of MEAT.

I tried hard to illustrate the experience but my Paint skills aren't up to snuff.

Fabulous @BernieParent ! Temporary BernieParent! Glistening BernieParent!

This was taken already.

 

[Lord Defect]

I wish ajgoal luck while he finds a pick that isn't from my own personal fifth round. Evasive ajgoal! Decorous ajgoal! Obeisant ajgoal!

It is now time to unveil my food truck. You have all been thinking small. While you've thought small, I've built big. The Mutineers' engineering and marketing teams have been hard at work, and now we unveil the truck we have worked hard on. It is named:

MEAT

MEAT is not built in a normal, feeble food truck body. To construct the feeding powerhouse that is MEAT, the Mutineers have purchased an 80-foot double tractor trailer and converted it into a food factory. You know, one of these:

MEAT serves meat. All kinds of meat. It is equipped with flat tops, charcoal grills, smokers, fryers, ovens, broilers. MEAT does not serve vegetables, except for the honorable potato. The potato is an honorary meat. Here is a quick rundown of the meats available at MEAT:

-Steaks of all varieties
-Burgers
-Smoked Brisket
-Fried Chicken/Chicken Wings
-Smoked turkey legs
-Pulled Pork, with sauces
-Burnt Ends
-Grilled lamb
-Smoked salmon
-Grilled shrimp
-Lobster and crab
-Long Pork Burgers
-Smoked meatloaf
-Pastrami
-Pork chops
-Grilled chicken, wide variety of flavors and marinades
-Meat flights (on a stick!)
-Sausages (Mild/Hot italian, chorizo, bratwurst, kielbasa, bangers, hot dogs, knackwurst)
-Free wagyu steak tartare (More on this in a moment)

Salad:
-Croutons and bacon bits soaked in Ken's Lite Caesar with shredded cheese

Dessert:
-Bacon
-Pipe smoking (only aromatics)

Beverages:
-Grog (Two pints of rum mixed with lime juice. It is healthy because it fights off scurvy. Served in complimentary recycled and organically sourced human skull)
-Malt Vinegar
-All sauces and condiments can also be dranken

Now, let's get into the experience of dining at MEAT. There is a squad of two dozen scantily clad musclebound Himbos and Bimbos who will wander around cheering people on as they eat their meats and drink their Grog. Massive speakers will pump out electronic dance music at disorienting volumes. Fog machines will pump out enough fog that diners can eat and grind on each other in comforting anonymity. With that much fog, you need lasers, so a high-powered laser show will blast through the fog in all directions. By holding their mouths open, they can occasionally catch steak tartare fired out of the meatcannon. The meatcannon is a salvaged naval 24 pounder on top of MEAT that is loaded with steak tartare and fired into the crowd; with proper drilling, staff should be able to fire every 90 seconds. I did look into mounting two cannons to fire at intervals reducing time between complimentary meat distribution, but my accountants assure me this isn't cost effective.

The drivetrain has been replaced with a 35MW gas turbine generously stolen from the US Navy. It can achieve a cruising speed of 300mph (That's 482.803 in Celsius) so that it can always make any away game. Mutineers fans will never be bereft of MEAT.

I tried hard to illustrate the experience but my Paint skills aren't up to snuff.

Fabulous @BernieParent ! Temporary BernieParent! Glistening BernieParent!

I’m living in your food truck when we get to the quackverse.

Girl says "wow. That's good. What else would you expect from the man named beef Invictus, but meat"

Does she know she’s “Girl” on here?

 

[BernieParent]

Apologies for making you all wait, especially to @JojoTheWhale.

"For Team Creeper, the owners of the Tampa Bay FireSticks were initially concerned about the connotations of such a designation. However, we remembered that we are the owners of MineCraft and, therefore, select an actual Creeper.

"In fact, we select a team of Creepers to assist with general maintenance and customer satisfaction tasks in and around our arena. Please treat them kindly as you enter and exit.

"We now cede drafting control to the only QuackVerse owner who knows your and your family's browsing history."

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Busy morning, innit.

We start the day with @JojoTheWhale on the clock, @Asnito on deck, Pervy Sando on the lido deck, and mja on the lido afterdeck. @ajgoal can make up his pick whenever he thinks of something.

In addition to being busy, my typing has gone all the way to shit. Also, every time I do something on here, I get "[the thing] is not responding" for a few seconds. I'm sure at least part of it is f***ing Adobe, that c***. Anyway, I'll be back in a while, Enjoy this smooth groove in the meantime.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Artificially limiting yourself is a mistake. Poutine shops limit themselves to fries. Food trucks limit themselves to land. The former is easy to fix. You just offer everything on fries, tots, baked potatoes, and every other form you can conceive. The latter I thought might be trickier. It turns out I was wrong and dumb, as usual.

The Boaterhome contains a full kitchen, a shower, and a king-size bed. This beast can do 100+ mph on the road and 40 mph in the water. Rather than coming back to land to get your taters, the Boaterhome simply comes to you.

I would argue the most important step in the creation of a food truck is the pithy name, so this is where I actually started. I give you the M.A.D. Cats' official mobile feeder, Starch of Darkness.

@Asnito We made it to the first Saturday. It gets harder every year.

 

[BiggE]

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought (no, not really, I’m just high and my mind is wandering) and here are some suggestions for future categories:

Team songwriter

Team animal mascot (must be an actual existing animal, you know like a dragon or unicorn)

Team liquor (specific brand)

Team explorer

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought (no, not really, I’m just high and my mind is wandering) and here are some suggestions for future categories:

Team songwriter

Team animal mascot (must be an actual existing animal, you know like a dragon or unicorn)

Team liquor (specific brand)

Team explorer

We’ve reached peak Quackverse when a new category suggestion is one we’ve already done.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Artificially limiting yourself is a mistake. Poutine shops limit themselves to fries. Food trucks limit themselves to land. The former is easy to fix. You just offer everything on fries, tots, baked potatoes, and every other form you can conceive. The latter I thought might be trickier. It turns out I was wrong and dumb, as usual.

The Boaterhome contains a full kitchen, a shower, and a king-size bed. This beast can do 100+ mph on the road and 40 mph in the water. Rather than coming back to land to get your taters, the Boaterhome simply comes to you.

I would argue the most important step in the creation of a food truck is the pithy name, so this is where I actually started. I give you the M.A.D. Cats' official mobile feeder, Starch of Darkness.

@Asnito We made it to the first Saturday. It gets harder every year.

See this is the kind of thinking we need

 

[ajgoal]

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought (no, not really, I’m just high and my mind is wandering) and here are some suggestions for future categories:

Team songwriter

Team animal mascot (must be an actual existing animal, you know like a dragon or unicorn)

Team liquor (specific brand)

Team explorer

Team reverse cover song: The original version of a popular cover song. The original may or may not have made the charts, but the cover must have. No picking a song like "Baba O'Riley" because you found some local band's cover version on youtube.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Team reverse cover song: The original version of a popular cover song. The original may or may not have made the charts, but the cover must have. No picking a song like "Baba O'Riley" because you found some local band's cover version on youtube.

I'll tell you why I am against this. Some joker is going to pick Leonard Cohen's original over Jeff Buckley's cover of "Hallelujah," and I am not going to be able to take that person seriously about anything ever again.

 

[ajgoal]

Sh. We're stealing this guy from our arch-rival's GM as our makeup pick:

Futurehead 2, electric boogaloo, Number 4: Alexander Pelevin

Somebody else is still up.

I'll tell you why I am against this. Some joker is going to pick Leonard Cohen's original over Jeff Buckley's cover of "Hallelujah," and I am not going to be able to take that person seriously about anything ever again.

At least then we'd know who they are.

 

[BiggE]

We’ve reached peak Quackverse when a new category suggestion is one we’ve already done.

Damn, f***ing weed strikes again!

 

[JojoTheWhale]

See this is the kind of thinking we need

MEAT and Starch of Darkness should park next to each other. All sides are potatoes in the New World.

I'll tell you why I am against this. Some joker is going to pick Leonard Cohen's original over Jeff Buckley's cover of "Hallelujah," and I am not going to be able to take that person seriously about anything ever again.

As always, I apologize in advance.