NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - FRESH DOWN THERE PHASE NINETEEN!

[pit]

With GM Doug running the show, our franchise is bound to have some bad years in the future.

Who better to get out in front of this than our Team Spokesman Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf.

Doesn't ring a bell? What if I tell you his better known nickname?

Team Spokesman: Baghdad Bob

@Striiker , my feelings, as usual, we will slaughter them all.

 

[Striiker]

OFFICIAL: After a global search process, we have hired Bluey for the newly created position of Vice President, Athlete Performance and Wellness. (Or “Team Trainer”… whatever. Same shit)

Warning: Naughty words


@Hollywood Cannon go

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

I’m hungover sitting here waiting for my flight that isn’t still for hours so you can skip me.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I was convinced this young woman was already taken, but my extensive searching says otherwise. She's cool as shit, beautiful, funny, badass, charismatic, influential, super charitable, and all around awesome. Oh yeah, and she's dating Spiderman too. She's the total package and exactly what the Sexpos are looking for in a spokesperson.

Team Spokesperson - Zendaya

Rip one off @mja

She rules hard. I almost picked her about a million times. Great pick.

 

[Striiker]

I’m hungover sitting here waiting for my flight that isn’t still for hours so you can skip me.

Drink a chocolate milk and eat some chicken nuggies/tendies and the hangover will disappear.

 

[BiggE]

Drink a chocolate milk and eat some chicken nuggies/tendies and the hangover will disappear.

So says the guy who doesn’t drink.

Now take it from the expert, the true hangover cure is: a large glass of water, 2 aspirin, some weed, a big breakfast and a Bloody Mary.

Make a note of it

 

[Striiker]

So says the guy who doesn’t drink.

Now take it from the expert, the true hangover cure is: a large glass of water, 2 aspirin, some weed, a big breakfast and a Bloody Mary.

Make a note of it

I drink choccy milk and eat nuggies every day and I’ve never had a hangover.

Can’t argue with those results. Flawless health.

 

[Asnito]

Uh @Striiker

 

[Striiker]

Uh @Striiker

Interesting choice of clothing…

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

We don’t support that homewrecker here in the Quackverse.

 

[Lord Defect]

Ah crap. I will pick tomorrow, sorry. It's my birthday and I'm being forced to celebrate.

@Asnito Gogo

Happy birthday dude!

NJFZ Team Spokesperson: Mayhem, AKA Dean Winters

@CanadianFlyer88

You win this phase

 

[Striiker]

We don’t support that homewrecker here in the Quackverse.

The nugget?

 

[DancingPanther]

So says the guy who doesn’t drink.

Now take it from the expert, the true hangover cure is: a large glass of water, 2 aspirin, some weed, a big breakfast and a Bloody Mary.

Make a note of it

Now take it from the doctor: the truest hangover cure is hangover prevention. 2 multivitamins before drinking and Gatorade on your nightstand. A nice big breakfast of weed and food and you're good to go

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

"Morning has broken like farted wi-i-i-i-nd - new moon is open like a bare butt." Fresh lyrics. Let's go.

We start the day with @Hollywood Cannon on the clock, but he'll pick as soon as the hungover pilot of his flight pulls the plane up to the door of his wife's sister's office. @Chuck Downie is on deck, Bigglesworth is on the lido deck, and Dancing Doogie Howser Pants M.D. is on the lido afterdeck. @JojoTheWhale can make up his pick whenever he has time.

There are no words for how much I dread the start of the hockey season. I know I am not alone in this. I'm not even looking forward to making fun of them. I'm not even looking forward to watching them fail into Bedard. I'm not looking forward to them overachieving just enough to f*** that up. It's just going to be a total slog no matter what happens. The only thing I can do is play around in Photoshop and figure out a fresh approach that sparks my interest so I don't die of boredom.

Meh. Let's just not think about that until we have to. Stay fresh, yo.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@Beef Invictus shop early, shop often.

Try Hard Garbage

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

@Chuck Downie

You can go.

 

[Lord Defect]

@Beef Invictus shop early, shop often.

Try Hard Garbage

I’m offended you didn’t use the Pufts as they are the dominate team of the league.

 

[BiggE]

 

[ajgoal]

I’m offended you didn’t use the Pufts as they are the dominate team of the league.

Too bad you'll never dominate a grammar test.

 

[Chuck Downie]

Les Comiques select Futurehead

Topi Ronni

@BiggE is up!

 

[BiggE]

And so it begins…

Idiot hockey player #1
Maksymilian Szuber D

At least hearing our fanbase mangle his name should be mildly amusing.

@DancingPanther , grab the weed and choose a need.

 

[DancingPanther]

Hello everybody, we here at Providence are thrilled to drop by for our monthly double shot of picks. Today, it's all about the music

For our team anthem/singer, we turn to our team golfers:

As they lead the Providence faithful in Swinging with the Alphabet


This of course will not be the solemn spouting of possibly misguided nationalism, it will be a fun sing-along as opposing fans soak the hilarity up in confused horror.

Secondly, I think fans of the NHL franchise will appreciate the hype this song brings. For years you would skip the EA sports intro, then hear this. The hype goes from 2 to 200. And you can't help but sing along


@BiggE we're back to you

CURRRRLY'S A DOPE.

 

[BiggE]

Idiot hockey player #2

Amadeus Lombardi C


Come save us from the stupidity of hockey @Chuck Downie !

 

[Chuck Downie]

Les Comiques select Futurehead

Tnias Mathurin

@Hollywood Cannon is up!

 

[Lord Defect]

Les Comiques select Futurehead

Tnias Mathurin

@Hollywood Cannon is up!

Did you leave letters out of his name?