Did you see how I jinxed the big baby?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
We start the day ... in exactly the same predicament that we started yesterday. Yesterday never started, or ended. So we continue the nightmare of National Brian Fellows Day ...
... with
@Rebels57 on the clock with a pair (phrasing),
@Beef Invictus on deck,
@CanadianFlyer88 on the lido deck, and Dancing Panther on the lido afterdeck.
You know how I feel about that fat bastard, so you know that yesterday was a real nightmare for me, but you don't know just how far the #DarkestTimeline dragged it out. Get this. I go to my room to go to bed, but I had to scoop the cat's litterbox first. So I'm sitting on the ground, scooping the loads, and all of a sudden a huge, ugly, evil f***ing spider crawled up from the cat sand. I shit you not. It was like the moment early in a science-fiction horror movie where the loser in the crew first encounters the alien monster. The motherf***er crawled UP FROM THE CAT SAND. F*** my life. I tried to kill it with the poop scooper, but some sand fell back over it, so I had to sift for a while to find it and make sure it was dead. Of course it wasn't, so I took the leading edge of the scooper and sliced it in half against the side of the litter box. Then I scooped the two halves out of the box and crushed them against the floor. Then I sliced it again. Then I crushed it again. Then I scooped it up and dumped it into the bag with the loads.
I thought for sure I was going to have a spider nightmare, where an extra huge, extra ugly, extra evil spider would attack me while I was trying to pee in a Korean dating house. But that's not what I dreamed. I dreamed about the hottest girl from "Transit Love" in REAL life. She came to me while I was covering a high-school baseball game and told me about her problems with her boyfriend. Then she hugged me, because she needed comfort. That was awesome. But then, of course, I had to pee, so without disengaging from her hug, I tried to walk her over to the concrete bunker at the ballpark which held the men's restroom. I took her in there and said "Hold on just for a second," and went to the urinal, where I began to pee. She came over and hugged me again. I tried to tell her "Let me just pull my pants up," but she wouldn't stop hugging me. I tried not to pee anymore, I really did, but after a couple of seconds, I rotated my lower half toward the urinal and continued to pee. While she was hugging me.
I mean, it's really not fair, when you think about it. There really isn't a good reason for me not to take all of this personally and not to become a supervillain.
