This has hit me really hard. I was devastated when I got the notification on Friday and mentioned it to a coworker. We have some construction people in the building that overheard me mention it and one of them said something along the lines of “Who cares? There are kids that die every day that the media doesn’t talk about.”
Instead of saying what I wanted to in that moment, I walked away.
I was out for a run this morning, and I couldn’t help but think about how all it might take is one distracted driver, or the glare of the sun, or a hidden genetic defect and I could be gone in an instant.
I thought about what I’d leave behind. I know my wife and son would be loved and cared for. I thought about what I’ve done with my life so far. Not what I’ve accomplished, but the way I’ve lived my life and treated other people.
I don’t know why Johnny and Matthew had to go. It makes no sense. I don’t know why you and I are here instead and they’re gone. But it’s not my place to know or understand.
The bottom line is, I don’t want to go now, but if I died today I’d have zero regrets. I’m far from perfect, but I’ve tried to make others smile and laugh. I’ve done my best not just to learn knowledge or get a job that makes money, but to make the most of every day and every opportunity to show love through action.
I don’t feel like I’ve held anything back or left any cards unplayed.