I missed the back half of this game. Glad they fought back.
Welcome to Phil Rizzuto's Devils season-to-date recap sponsored by RWJ Barnabas' Pediatrics; "The kids you help today, might one day help the Devils...in 15 hours...literally...help...seriously."
- Sharangovich: "The Shooter". Yegor, has one job--to hide his wife's Tik Tok password. Ok, he has two jobs--the password thing and scoring. YG has 10 goals on the season and ranks third among rookies with Eeli Tolvanien and he has two less goals than three rookies, Suter, Norris, and Robertson. Not bad. He is performing above expectations. 10-20 goals cannot be on the first line, but it's a start. He's doing his job and nobody should say bad things on a digital hockey board.
- Kuokk: "The Finnish Spitz". The Finnish Spitz is a dog bred for hunting and Kuokk's job is to hunt pucks. Retrieve them, protect them, pat them on the head and call them george...and then make a smart pass. Janne has 20 points and that puts him on level with Patrick Laine, Finland's "Least Finnish Man" of 2018, Pius Suter (a name fit for a pope), Calle Jarnkrok (the sound my knees and hips make when I skate), and Pierre-Luc Dubious (which is french for mercurial). Not only has he joined Lindy Ruff's "Real Men Have Facial Tics" club, but he's looking like a solid 2nd line player. Dobber Hockey will corroborate my guess:
Janne Kuokkanen - Fantasy Hockey Game Logs, Advanced Stats and more - Frozen Tools
- HUUUUUGHES: "Captain America......'s assistant". Jack's second year started electric and he was then drained of any super soldier serum, presumably by some Nazi scum. We know Nazis were running cloning experiments but we are just learning that there are soon to be 3 Hughes gems in the NHL. Presumably the Soul Hughes gem and the Reality Hughes gem are somewhere in the KHL. Once again, Dobber will tell you that Jack Hughes is 1st line/super star material. He's fun to watch AND he'll tell you exactly what's happening on Dawson's Creek any time you ask. Yes, he turns the puck over, but also generates chances like a broken slot machine. He has taken 1 penalty all year and scored 23 points as a 19 year old. 19. "Leave Britney Alone"
- Jesper Bratt: "InstaBratt". His IG skating videos make you want to give up hockey or quit or job and power skate until your tendons explode. I quit my job. He and Dr. Pavel are tied for 25 points and he was near a PPG pace before Trouba decided to hire Nancy Kerrigan to fix leg. 25 Points puts you just outside the top 100 NHL forwards. You're pretty awesome at hockey. Chris Lamoriello at one point had a plan to draft every Jesper in the Western Hemisphere to induce seizures in Dano but this one looks like a keeper. Once again, Dobber agrees with me labeling him as a "Tissue Soft, Floating Figure Skater Who Cuts the Crust Off His Bread". No, sorry, they list him as an "Effective Top Six, Offensive Minded Forward".
- Pavel Zacha: "Dr. Pavel". "Zacha Zacha Zahca Fozzy Bear". The Riddler as I call him. Build a hockey player: Speed (B), Hands (A), Vision/IQ (A), Passing (B), Shot (B+), Heart (C). Mix it together and what do you get? DEEPS B SAHDN A OISVNIIQ A PSSANGI B HTOS B REHTA C. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either. Zacha can and has gone on stretches of dominance. He SHOULDN'T be the top point getter on a good team. That's why he's #1 on the Devils, but he seems to have found a bit of consistency...even without benchings, which is good to see. He has 25 points and PP1 just before he got hurt, looked as good as it ever looked in years. His current whereabouts are unknown. There are rumors that he is wandering the Canadian arctic in a feral madness trying to understand his new found healing factor and adamantium bones. There's also a rumor that he's playing Fornite and chugging HoHo's because his season is over. Here's to further playing your A game. Pavel's his only limiting factor.