20-21 Season Tank Thread (MOD WARNING IN OP)

[Dab]

My favourite movie tank scene

 

[mouz135]

We did it, boys! The tank is back and roaring to go

 

[iceburg]

While I agree with your last statement, I think that's been the way they've tanked all along trying to be good and failing miserably at it, there's extra things they could do to further the tank.

Trading Sutter (before he can go on a garbage time streak.)
Trade Pearson.
Heck trade any upcoming ufa who doesn't factor into future plans.
Set yourself up for the expansion draft, ie trade a forward to a team with 4 great defensemen.
See what young guys are all about, ie Rathbone, Lind, etc.
Future focused moves that might just hurt the team in the standings.

So, in addition to getting a high draft pick, tank means take all possible steps to turn current assets into future assets provided they aren’t part of the future core...
I’m on board with that.

 

[M2Beezy]

The most depressing yet necessary thread. Disaster management needs to go but seems like the ownership is also a problem and not gonna hire someone who has long term vision. Sacrifice no playoffs in covid this year and next season to get rid of many of the crap contracts but be SUPER competitive for the 22-23 season. Trade Miller if need be but would prefer not to, esp not now

 

[Bojack Horvatman]

 

[Vancouver_2010]

Hopefully Edmonton can bring their A game tomorrow, and to add injury to our management team, i am hoping for a Kassian hat trick.

Another high scoring game where we lost would be ideal.

 

[Canucks LB]

You guys are going to be nice and not give too much work for us mods, right lol

 

[Pavel96]

 

[I am toxic]

You guys are going to be nice and not give too much work for us mods, right lol

 

[vanuck]

Just wanted to say that, as an OG member of #TeamTank since the beginning, it's good to see this thread being restored.

Once again, it's not about the draft pick for me - that's irrelevant and anything even close to a top 10 pick is simply icing on the cake. It's all about being so bad that ownership has no choice but to clean house and fire management, specifically Benning and Weisbrod.

Nice to see the tank pull through with a huge clutch L in the 3rd yesterday. Going to need more of those here, but it was a good start.

 

[SeawaterOnIce]

You guys are going to be nice and not give too much work for us mods, right lol

 

[VanJack]

51 points in 56 games is less than a 75 point pace over 82 games. That would have been a 27th place finish in 2018/19, or 26th in 2017/18. I could see the Canucks going on a hot streak and finishing a bit higher. It's hard to predict.

Unlike previous tank seasons, I think there's a chance the Canucks could seriously bottom out in this Canadian Division.

Think about it. During a normal 'tank season' you're inevitably going to play a certain number of teams who are just as bad as you are, and are in tank mode themselves.

But other than Ottawa, there isn't a single team above them in this Canadian Division that won't be desperate for points every night. And losing to the sad-sack Canucks won't be something they'll be able to afford or take lightly.

So the Canucks could actually play some decent hockey, but still be in full-on 'tank mode' implosion.

 

[Javaman]

The average p% of the 10th worst team over the last 5 seasons has been 0.509. To get to that we would need 39 points, or 97 point pace in an 82 game season. Going .500 down the stretch would bring us to a 0.455 which would normally be 4th or 5th last.

The Canucks would need a .575 points percentage simply to finish with a .500 hundred record. To put that into perspective, they finished last season with .565 points percentage. With a superior team.

Barring some cap miracles, the Canucks will probably ice a worse roster next year. I vote that this tank thread continue into next season until their playoff chances exceed 50% after 23 games.

 

[lawrence]

Tank is fine but I am outright against blown out on the score board. I love the players demko, horvat, Hughes to want them to get blown out. We can achieve the same result of tanking without the team destroying us. Either than that go oilers go.

 

[Didalee Hed]

Oh my god

this is such a funny joke between a particular friend of mine and me

saving this gif

 

[I am toxic]

TANK FAQ - Version 1, Draft

What is the PURPOSE of the TANK?
The purpose of the TANK is to get as GOOD as possible, as QUICKLY as possible, to be a CUP contender for as LONG as possible. It means the most amount of winning, and the least amount of losing. Like, the opposite of the last 7 years.

What is the WAY?
The way the TANK works is to harvest/acquire ASSETS that will peak in UTILITY throughout the longest WINDOW possible.

So WHAT?
So, that means the WINDOW must be identified accurately. For example, identifying last year as the WINDOW was MORONIC. (Moronic means stupid).

But WHAT really?
It means the OWNER should stay the EFF out of hockey ops. Hire the most competent President available and LET THEM DO THEIR JOB. Otherwise it would be MORONIC (see above - it means stupid).

But WHAT job is that?
The President hires a COMPETENT General Manager. If you look closely, you see that I capitalized COMPETENT. Because hiring an INcompetent GM is what we did 7 years ago, and it was, is, and will always be MORONIC (see above for detailed definition and pronunciation - it means stooopid).

But HOW does a COMPETENT General Manager harvest/acquire assets?
Well, to begin with, the League comes along and gives out DRAFT PICKS for FREE. Don't trade high draft picks away when it is not your WINDOW (and probably not even then either) because that would be MORONIC (see above - it means we traded a lottery pick and an 3rd round pick for JT Miller to save our INcompetent GM's sorry ass job for one more year of delay in any hope of having a WINDOW).

Is that IT?
No. Don't be MORONIC (see above - it means you haven't been paying attention). You can also harvest/acquire assets by trading with GM's who are MORONIC (see above - it may mean you have short term memory loss). For example, trading Sutter/High Cap Hit for BetterPlayerBonino/Lower Cap Hit/better pick is an example. It is. Also, just as there is a WINDOW to be a CUP contender, there is a WINDOW to SYNCHRONIZE the UTILITY of your ASSETS. For example, last season was a WINDOW to SYNCHRONIZE, in which case UFA's with value should be traded at the deadline. Marky, Tanev, Miller (because of the MORONIC trade that got him here). NOT TOFU. The OPPOSITE of TOFU. Giving up a 2nd and a prospect for TOFU is an example of MORONIC (see above - it means the GM screwed the future of the team to save his sorry ass job).

Is there MORE?
YES! The OWNER works hard at not being MORONIC (see above - it's up there, look a little harder) lets the most competent PRESIDENT hire the best people he can: GM, several of them or AGM's, Capologists, People Who Understand OPPORTUNITY COST (like that the OPPORTUNITY COST to acquire JT Miller was a lottery pick), Scouting Department (like BRACKETT), Coaches (like GALLANT), Goalie Coaches, Trainers.

Is that IT?
Of course not. The best COACH creates the best SYSTEM and INSTILS it in his PLAYERS. The Best COACH ensures that young PLAYERS are DEVELOPED and GIVEN ICE TIME. Older PLAYERS who are GOOD (TANEV, EDLER) can help SHELTER young PLAYERS (HUGHES) until the older PLAYERS are flipped at the deadline.

Can we CHEER at GAMES?
Once we have an OWNER who is not MORONIC (see above - I think I mentioned it) and the most Competent PRESIDENT and the best GM and COACH and all that good stuff, then YES, we can CHEER at GAMES!

For WINS? Can we CHEER for WINS?
NO! DON'T BE MORONIC! We are CHEERING for our young PLAYERS to DEVELOP well, and make beautiful plays and get goals and assists. WINS have nothing to do with our CHEERING while we are in a WINDOW to SYNCHRONIZE.

Do we need to CHEER for LOSSES?
Not in the GDT - you could do it here in this thread, but the beauty is, you DON'T NEED TO CHEER for LOSSES. Because trading away older players with value at the DEADLINE will ensure that we continue to harvest/acquire assets that will peak in UTILITY throughout the longest WINDOW possible, while pushing us down in the standings to ensure a good draft pick.

Will we ever be able to CHEER for WINS?
Not as long as your OWNER is MORONIC and hasn't hired the most competent PRESIDENT etc etc.
BUT once we have an OWNER who is not MORONIC (see above - it's up there thataway) and the most Competent PRESIDENT and the best GM and COACH and all that good stuff, and we enter our WINDOW to COMPETE to be a CUP CONTENDER, then YES, we can CHEER for WINS like we should have been doing years ago if we had had an owner who was not moronic and hired an incompetent GM who mortgaged the future to save his sorry ass job.

 

[Didalee Hed]

I wish I could say I was wrong about the Canucks still being garbage and killing last year’s tank thread being premature...

Anyway, whatever.

 

[Didalee Hed]

TANK FAQ - Version 1, Draft

What is the PURPOSE of the TANK?
The purpose of the TANK is to get as GOOD as possible, as QUICKLY as possible, to be a CUP contender for as LONG as possible. It means the most amount of winning, and the least amount of losing. Like, the opposite of the last 7 years.

What is the WAY?
The way the TANK works is to harvest/acquire ASSETS that will peak in UTILITY throughout the longest WINDOW possible.

So WHAT?
So, that means the WINDOW must be identified accurately. For example, identifying last year as the WINDOW was MORONIC. (Moronic means stupid).

But WHAT really?
It means the OWNER should stay the EFF out of hockey ops. Hire the most competent President available and LET THEM DO THEIR JOB. Otherwise it would be MORONIC (see above - it means stupid).

But WHAT job is that?
The President hires a COMPETENT General Manager. If you look closely, you see that I capitalized COMPETENT. Because hiring an INcompetent GM is what we did 7 years ago, and it was, is, and will always be MORONIC (see above for detailed definition and pronunciation - it means stooopid).

But HOW does a COMPETENT General Manager harvest/acquire assets?
Well, to begin with, the League comes along and gives out DRAFT PICKS for FREE. Don't trade high draft picks away when it is not your WINDOW (and probably not even then either) because that would be MORONIC (see above - it means we traded a lottery pick and an 3rd round pick for JT Miller to save our INcompetent GM's sorry ass job for one more year of delay in any hope of having a WINDOW).

Is that IT?
No. Don't be MORONIC (see above - it means you haven't been paying attention). You can also harvest/acquire assets by trading with GM's who are MORONIC (see above - it may mean you have short term memory loss). For example, trading Sutter/High Cap Hit for BetterPlayerBonino/Lower Cap Hit/better pick is an example. It is. Also, just as there is a WINDOW to be a CUP contender, there is a WINDOW to SYNCHRONIZE the UTILITY of your ASSETS. For example, last season was a WINDOW to SYNCHRONIZE, in which case UFA's with value should be traded at the deadline. Marky, Tanev, Miller (because of the MORONIC trade that got him here). NOT TOFU. The OPPOSITE of TOFU. Giving up a 2nd and a prospect for TOFU is an example of MORONIC (see above - it means the GM screwed the future of the team to save his sorry ass job).

Is there MORE?
YES! The OWNER works hard at not being MORONIC (see above - it's up there, look a little harder) lets the most competent PRESIDENT hire the best people he can: GM, several of them or AGM's, Capologists, People Who Understand OPPORTUNITY COST (like that the OPPORTUNITY COST to acquire JT Miller was a lottery pick), Scouting Department (like BRACKETT), Coaches (like GALLANT), Goalie Coaches, Trainers.

Is that IT?
Of course not. The best COACH creates the best SYSTEM and INSTILS it in his PLAYERS. The Best COACH ensures that young PLAYERS are DEVELOPED and GIVEN ICE TIME. Older PLAYERS who are GOOD (TANEV, EDLER) can help SHELTER young PLAYERS (HUGHES) until the older PLAYERS are flipped at the deadline.

Can we CHEER at GAMES?
Once we have an OWNER who is not MORONIC (see above - I think I mentioned it) and the most Competent PRESIDENT and the best GM and COACH and all that good stuff, then YES, we can CHEER at GAMES!

For WINS? Can we CHEER for WINS?
NO! DON'T BE MORONIC! We are CHEERING for our young PLAYERS to DEVELOP well, and make beautiful plays and get goals and assists. WINS have nothing to do with our CHEERING while we are in a WINDOW to SYNCHRONIZE.

Do we need to CHEER for LOSSES?
Not in the GDT - you could do it here in this thread, but the beauty is, you DON'T NEED TO CHEER for LOSSES. Because trading away older players with value at the DEADLINE will ensure that we continue to harvest/acquire assets that will peak in UTILITY throughout the longest WINDOW possible, while pushing us down in the standings to ensure a good draft pick.

Will we ever be able to CHEER for WINS?
Not as long as your OWNER is MORONIC and hasn't hired the most competent PRESIDENT etc etc.
BUT once we have an OWNER who is not MORONIC (see above - it's up there thataway) and the most Competent PRESIDENT and the best GM and COACH and all that good stuff, and we enter our WINDOW to COMPETE to be a CUP CONTENDER, then YES, we can CHEER for WINS like we should have been doing years ago if we had had an owner who was not moronic and hired an incompetent GM.

Nice work. Would read again.

 

[I am toxic]

Nice work. Would read again.

It's just a draft, gonna need to add in cap structure/cap space/weaponization of cap space/not signing crap UFA's to long contracts/not signing bottom pair D/bottom6 forwards to $ and term etc etc

 

[Didalee Hed]

It's just a draft, gonna need to add in cap structure/cap space/weaponization of cap space/not signing crap UFA's to long contracts/not signing bottom pair D/bottom6 forwards to $ and term etc etc

And will then read again ​

 

[Javaman]

So what are the odds Gord Miller is perusing this thread and asking for a mulligan?

 

[CpatainCanuck]

 

[rypper]

So what are the odds Gord Miller is perusing this thread and asking for a mulligan?

Hey Gord, Iain "Heavy lifting of rebuild is done in 2016" Macintyre, et al...

 

[ProstheticConscience]

So this is my first time in the tank thread...I have a question.

The term "tank" implies an intentional effort to lose games to increase draft position...is this correct?
I actually don't think that's a reasonable possibility for this team. They will very likely get a high pick. But it won't be through trying to lose. They'll just lose because they're bad.

See below:

Like others have said, it has absolutely nothing to do with the draft pick position (especially now that Brackett has been booted and Delorme/Weisbrod/Benning Jr. seemingly have a bigger hand in the draft), it's all about starting a a top to bottom organization gutting.

It's amazing how many times the tank concept needs to be explained to people, it really is. Waiting for some of the old reliable crowd to show up in here.

Ok people. Enough with the tank gifs. We get it. This is the tank thread.

Thanks.

Let's discuss the keys to tomorrows game. You think they lose big time? Will Roussel take more stupid penalties? Blown leads?

Gotcha!

Okay, I'm done.

 

[orcatown]

In this case, the tank is only partially about draft positions. We know the Canucks will be screwed over once the lottery balls start bouncing and the draft looks like a pin the tail on the donkey exercise with the prospects all over the may in terms of rankings. You might just as well get a winner at 10th as you are at the 1st choice given the situation..

The real purpose IMO is having the team look so bad that no one, not even Aqua man, can delude themselves about how dense and useless Canuck management is. Maybe then they will clean house and finally send all the over paid alumni packing. Faint hope but about all you got to cling to.