Useless Thread MDCCXCIII: Nothing to see here

[Tarantula]

Carry on...

Click to read more...

 

[JMCx4]

Next window, please ...

 

[John Price]

your first UT i am proud of you @Tarantula

 

[John Price]

i will have some whiskey to celebrate

 

[John Price]

lmao @PanthersPens62

Waiting Rooms Should Ban Cable News And Put Food Network On Instead

 

[Tarantula]

your first UT i am proud of you @Tarantula

I thought I qualified since I am at least as useless as anyone else here, just a question of seniority!

 

[Kairi Zaide]

The Great Schism

Beginning

The Great Schism began during the 2014 Olympics. Peter Hook, a legendary page two poster as well as the bass player for Joy Division and leading creative force behind New Order, was venturing to page one to cheer on his beloved Canadian National Women's Hockey Team. During their second match, a comprehensive clown pounding of Finland, Peter posted an image depicting an in progress clown pounding. A humourless Page One moderator (possible redundancy?), deleted his image and sent him a PM, calling it "offensive". Peter calmly and truthfully stated that the image is posted weekly on HFBoards without any problem, and told the moderator that in the event of another Canadian clown pounding, he'd be obligated to post it. Due to this post in the international hockey and the resulting PM conversation, Peter was banned from The Lounge because HF is run by a committee of humourless f***faces like [censored], who has held a grudge against Peter Hook for years as Peter has refused to apologize for [censored] banning him. [censored] was also likely upset with Peter because he realizes his life is a gigantic waste of f***ing time with no redeeming qualities, forcing him to use authority on a message board to get to sleep at night.

Ixcuincle Botches the Situation

At this point, Peter Hook turned to his close friend, ixcuincle, one of the humourless f***faces that runs HFBoards. He asked ixcuincle to explain to his fellow humourless f***faces, that the image Peter was in trouble for was a well known HF meme, used by moderators themselves. Since ixcuincle is a coward, afraid to lose the authority he has over an online community as it is literally the only reason he has to wake up in the morning, he refused. Later ixcuincle would claim to have not been in the chat when this happened, despite being phoned and responding to these requests from Peter.

The next morning, as word of Peter's Lounge ban reached the community, anarchy took over in the Useless Thread. ixcuincle, being the untrustable rat he is, took the unprecedented step of closing the Useless Thread. This did not sit well at all with the UT community. Due to this revolt, Peter Hook, who had not posted or sent any messages on over thirty six hours, was banned.

Aftermath

-The majority of the UT posters left to join the new forum "Hamsterdam"*, which was created by JeffMangum (formerly known as "BrianBoyle"). The only regulars left were ixcuincle and Propane Nightmares who due to their unpopularity were not allowed to join Hamsterdam, along with posters such as Shrimper and SoupyFin who didn't feel like joining the new forum and stayed loyal to the UT.

-A little while later, Hamsterdam got boring due to constant discussion about Pokemon, whining about ixcuincle, and copy pasting posts from the UT. One by one, former UTers such as Ceremony, Satan and RayP started to resume posting in the UT.

-ixcuincle has been seen alternating between begging to be allowed to talk with the community that despises him with pretending his social rejection has made the UT better.

-Despite the return of many valued posters and the arrival of new posters like MonahanForCalder, Ser Woof and Yubbers, the UT still takes longer to complete than prior to The Great Schism and is yet to return to its former glory.

-Peter Hook continues to tour with his group, Peter Hook and The Light.

-[censored] continues to be a humourless f***face who hopefully cried when Steven Gerrard slipped and cost his beloved Liverpool the league title.

-The Canadian women triumphed over the Americans, despite the USA sneaking Mike Richter in net under the name Jessie Vetter. No one was there to make sure the general public was kept aware of the in progress clown poundings they delivered.

*The name "Hamsterdam" was coined by legendary HF poster, JustGivingEr, in reference to the UT's favourite television show, The Wire.

 

[Pip]

ix why did you give up on playing chel wtb

 

[Bones Malone]

The Great Schism

Beginning

The Great Schism began during the 2014 Olympics. Peter Hook, a legendary page two poster as well as the bass player for Joy Division and leading creative force behind New Order, was venturing to page one to cheer on his beloved Canadian National Women's Hockey Team. During their second match, a comprehensive clown pounding of Finland, Peter posted an image depicting an in progress clown pounding. A humourless Page One moderator (possible redundancy?), deleted his image and sent him a PM, calling it "offensive". Peter calmly and truthfully stated that the image is posted weekly on HFBoards without any problem, and told the moderator that in the event of another Canadian clown pounding, he'd be obligated to post it. Due to this post in the international hockey and the resulting PM conversation, Peter was banned from The Lounge because HF is run by a committee of humourless f***faces like [censored], who has held a grudge against Peter Hook for years as Peter has refused to apologize for [censored] banning him. [censored] was also likely upset with Peter because he realizes his life is a gigantic waste of f***ing time with no redeeming qualities, forcing him to use authority on a message board to get to sleep at night.

Ixcuincle Botches the Situation

At this point, Peter Hook turned to his close friend, ixcuincle, one of the humourless f***faces that runs HFBoards. He asked ixcuincle to explain to his fellow humourless f***faces, that the image Peter was in trouble for was a well known HF meme, used by moderators themselves. Since ixcuincle is a coward, afraid to lose the authority he has over an online community as it is literally the only reason he has to wake up in the morning, he refused. Later ixcuincle would claim to have not been in the chat when this happened, despite being phoned and responding to these requests from Peter.

The next morning, as word of Peter's Lounge ban reached the community, anarchy took over in the Useless Thread. ixcuincle, being the untrustable rat he is, took the unprecedented step of closing the Useless Thread. This did not sit well at all with the UT community. Due to this revolt, Peter Hook, who had not posted or sent any messages on over thirty six hours, was banned.

Aftermath

-The majority of the UT posters left to join the new forum "Hamsterdam"*, which was created by JeffMangum (formerly known as "BrianBoyle"). The only regulars left were ixcuincle and Propane Nightmares who due to their unpopularity were not allowed to join Hamsterdam, along with posters such as Shrimper and SoupyFin who didn't feel like joining the new forum and stayed loyal to the UT.

-A little while later, Hamsterdam got boring due to constant discussion about Pokemon, whining about ixcuincle, and copy pasting posts from the UT. One by one, former UTers such as Ceremony, Satan and RayP started to resume posting in the UT.

-ixcuincle has been seen alternating between begging to be allowed to talk with the community that despises him with pretending his social rejection has made the UT better.

-Despite the return of many valued posters and the arrival of new posters like MonahanForCalder, Ser Woof and Yubbers, the UT still takes longer to complete than prior to The Great Schism and is yet to return to its former glory.

-Peter Hook continues to tour with his group, Peter Hook and The Light.

-[censored] continues to be a humourless f***face who hopefully cried when Steven Gerrard slipped and cost his beloved Liverpool the league title.

-The Canadian women triumphed over the Americans, despite the USA sneaking Mike Richter in net under the name Jessie Vetter. No one was there to make sure the general public was kept aware of the in progress clown poundings they delivered.

*The name "Hamsterdam" was coined by legendary HF poster, JustGivingEr, in reference to the UT's favourite television show, The Wire.

We need someone like @Siamese Dream to update this to present day

 

[Mantis]

ix why did you give up on playing chel wtb

We need more mic screaming and backhanders from the blueline!

 

[Mantis]

Also non-stop coughing. Ix always sounded like he was about to die on his headset

 

[RayP]

i will have some whiskey to celebrate

Gonna have more than a teaspoon this time to go with your entire can of soda?

 

[Pip]

Ray Piss

 

[Siamese Dream]

Absolute carnage on the path when I went out for a walk earlier, @RayP would have been raging

Parents and kids pootling along slowly on their bikes, dog walkers two-abreast taking up the whole path, and full-kit wankers who think they're doing the tour-de-France

All sharing the same path

 

[RayP]

Absolute carnage on the path when I went out for a walk earlier, @RayP would have been raging

Parents and kids pootling along slowly on their bikes, dog walkers two-abreast taking up the whole path, and full-kit wankers who think they're doing the tour-de-France

All sharing the same path

Multi use paths are the worst. F that.

 

[RayP]

Ray Piss

ButtPip

 

[JMCx4]

Absolute carnage on the path when I went out for a walk earlier, @RayP would have been raging

Parents and kids pootling along slowly on their bikes, dog walkers two-abreast taking up the whole path, and full-kit wankers who think they're doing the tour-de-France

All sharing the same path

Pootling is worse than piddling.

 

[John Price]

 

[John Price]

@Zaide Sinnoh sucks

nobody cares about gen 4

 

[John Price]

That being said I would still rather play Gen 4 than Genshin impact

 

[John Price]

hu tao

 

[John Price]

 

[John Price]

@Zaide do you even have a hu tao

you can't even unpack mona or any other 5* characters in your lootboxes

 

[John Price]

 

[John Price]

@RayP i rode earlier