Yukon Joe
Registered User
So the biggest problem with “make it so they can’t say no” is that you need to play against better players to develop. If my kid played House League this year and absolutely demolished it, he wouldn’t learn anything about what’s expected of a AA player nor would he be on the ice 5 times a week for power skating.
These things get set in stone from a young age and then the kids play for years together. They do the same drills every week that will eventually show up in tryouts.
I feel like maybe guys like you and Slats don’t notice stuff like this as much, because you probably have had your kids in hockey since age 3 and play prominent roles in your respective organizations.
There’s a rival hockey club starting in our area that I find really intriguing. They claim to be anti politics and pro development. Thinking something like that wouldn’t exist if this wasn’t a shared experience. Too bad my kid hates the idea (doesn’t want to leave his friends).
So I'm going to agree, and disagree, with a few points.
First I disagree with "you need to play with better players". You need to play with comparable players. If you're playing at too high a level you won't touch the puck. If you play at too low a level then yes you won't develop and will learn bad habits.
I'll also disagree with "things get in stone from a young age". Things can start to get set - but not from a young age. Both of my kids were nowhere near the top at a young age, and some of those who were superstars at 7 have completely fallen off. But then yes - if you've played at a high level for a couple of years, you'll probably get the benefit of the doubt if everything else is equal
I am also not prominent in my organization. I assistant coach, I do some volunteering which gets me some credit, but I am not (and never have been) in any kind of director or other leadership role.
Ice time - ABSOLUTELY a concern. My 2012 kid didn't make a high level team last year. I was fine with that - but it meant only 2 ice times per week, whereas at higher levels would have been more. We sought out and put him in separate power skating to try and make up for it. I think it was definitely worthwhile, though we'll see how he does next week.
Rival hockey club - everyone says they are "anti politics". My extremely limited experience though with alternatives to "regular hockey" though is very much that money talks. If you can write a cheque your kid can make the team - and their skill level doesn't matter so much.
"Make it so they can't say no" is just a reflection that the world isn't perfect (it never will be), and that you should just control what is in your ability to control. Don't worry that they might evaluate you to be the 14th best forward, while you think you should be #10 - be the 5th best forward out there and remove any argument.
Always remember though - this is just one hockey dad's opinion, and I definitely don't have all the answers.