OT: Thread About Nothing (part # who cares)

njdevils1982

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Sep 8, 2006
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28,419
North of Toronto
Andre Palot?

allo!

Screen Shot 2024-06-25 at 12.43.52 PM.png
 
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njdevils1982

Hell Toupée!!!
Sep 8, 2006
40,240
28,419
North of Toronto
f***ing amateur hour up here today

had a late breakfast and poured a triple then burned

only to realize im gonna run out of booze

and i aint driving no where now (f*** grammer)

looks like im gonna be rasta high all day instead.

this should be fun. 👌
 

Bleedred

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I have something bothering me lately.

About 6 months ago I GHOSTED someone who is mentally abusive. I didn't tell them I was ghosting them, as a matter of fact, I'm not even sure if they've even tried to contact me, as I blocked them about 4 or 5 days after we last communicated via text.

Most of me thinks it's better to end things the way they were, by telling this person to go f*** themselves without telling them to go f*** themselves. Which is what I did.

But man, I wanna tell them to GO f*** THEMSELF so f***in bad. But it won't make them feel any worse about the situation if I send a bunch of nasty messages. And believe me, I will send this person NASTY messages if I ever contact him again.

UNFORGIVABLY NASTY messages. Like ''Go f***in die, please get some kind of disease and die quickly but painfully, you f***in piece of shit, scumbag, motherf***er''.

So just leave it alone? Probably? I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, but it's nice to hear other's thoughts on how they would handle this situation.

It's been bothering me lately, though I'm not losing sleep over it or eating myself to death over it, like I have with other issues that REALLY BOTHER me.

Part of me is worried that this person just thinks I'm a coward for blocking them (if he's ever tried to reach out, he may not know, all he knows is that I haven't reached out), but then I realize that he probably thinks I'm a coward anyway. Blocking/ghosting/whatevering him or not.
 
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Bleedred

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I think ghosting is cowardly to an extent. This isn't about ghosting a girl I'm not interested in who deserves some sort of an explanation or someone who I was friends with and just don't feel like talking to anymore. I think in those situations you shouldn't ghost people.

But I believe it's absolutely okay to ghost abusive people. Especially people who don't really care what you have to say if you're gonna give them a goodbye speech. He was really asking for it with his behavior over the last several months we talked. As well as his behavior at assorted times over the last 40-something years.

And sometimes I'm not bothered by it anymore, but I also have sworn to myself this is the end. I've gotta prove a point, whether I'm mad or not. This person does not deserve to hear from me ever again for the rest of either of our lives. Not even by means of a mean, nasty messages telling him off.
 

Saugus

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^ If this is who we've talked about previously, then I think shutting him out completely is a perfectly reasonable way to save yourself further pain. He isn't going to change, and it isn't going to get better.

Sure, we'd all like to have good relationships with our relatives, but if that's not in the cards, then estrangement isn't the worst thing. All you can do is take care of yourself and be good to the people who actually want to be positive presences in your life.
 

Bleedred

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^ If this is who we've talked about previously, then I think shutting him out completely is a perfectly reasonable way to save yourself further pain. He isn't going to change, and it isn't going to get better.

Sure, we'd all like to have good relationships with our relatives, but if that's not in the cards, then estrangement isn't the worst thing. All you can do is take care of yourself and be good to the people who actually want to be positive presences in your life.
Let me make it clear, I don't want to salvage the relationship. I kind of just want to verbally beat up on him a bunch and let him know it's over forever. Last time we did this I wound up talking to him again 3.5 years later.

Actually, more recently than that, it happened another time, and that time I think I went 7 months without talking to him.

I have a slight bit of guilt for not telling him we are done, rather than ghosting him with no explanation. That's the only bit of guilt. But does he really need an explanation? I don't think he wants one.

And there's a big part of me that thinks I am being cowardly for not telling him how I really feel, and not telling him off before parting ways forever. But he's only gonna think I'm a coward anyway. Because I don't have the job he approves of, I don't like the kinds of women he approves of, I hang out with and have a gay best friend, Or that I cry over hockey (Devils) games because I ''Have it so easy in life and know nothing about it yet''.

There can't be much sense in sending a bunch of blast messages verbally assaulting him, especially after 6 months of no contact?
 
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Saugus

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Let me make it clear, I don't want to salvage the relationship. I kind of just want to verbally beat up on him a bunch and let him know it's over forever. Last time we did this I wound up talking to him again 3.5 years later.

Actually, more recently than that, it happened another time, and that time I think I went 7 months without talking to him.

I have a slight bit of guilt for not telling him we are done, rather than ghosting him with no explanation. That's the only bit of guilt. But does he really need an explanation? I don't think he wants one.

And there's a big part of me that thinks I am being cowardly for not telling him how I really feel, and not telling him off before parting ways forever. But he's only gonna think I'm a coward anyway. Because I don't have the job he approves of, I don't like the kinds of women he approves of, I hang out with and have a gay best friend, Or that I cry over hockey (Devils) games because I ''Have it so easy in life and know nothing about it yet''.

There can't be much sense in sending a bunch of blast messages verbally assaulting him, especially after 6 months of no contact?

Telling him off would only make you feel better for a little bit, but it would eat at you over time. Especially if you've done it before and it didn't stick.

And responding to verbal abuse with more verbal abuse is not the way to go. Being the bigger man and letting insults go unanswered is not cowardly. Better to end the cycle, even if he probably deserves it.

You may recall that I have a similar situation in my life. Whenever I am tempted to lose my cool at some provocation, I remember: We are not locked into being the person our upbringing starts us as; we have agency to make positive changes in our own lives. I choose not to react in a destructive way, and I am happier for it.
 

Bleedred

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Telling him off would only make you feel better for a little bit, but it would eat at you over time. Especially if you've done it before and it didn't stick.

And responding to verbal abuse with more verbal abuse is not the way to go. Being the bigger man and letting insults go unanswered is not cowardly. Better to end the cycle, even if he probably deserves it.

You may recall that I have a similar situation in my life. Whenever I am tempted to lose my cool at some provocation, I remember: We are not locked into being the person our upbringing starts us as; we have agency to make positive changes in our own lives. I choose not to react in a destructive way, and I am happier for it.
I haven’t told him off in quite the way I’m fantasizing about, but your point still taken.

I’m not completely against telling people off, but ultimately it’s probably not something I should do to someone that isn’t bothering me at all right now, who I don’t at all have to engage with in any way.

Now if he ever contacts me again, which he could, there’s ways around the block. Burner numbers. And I know he has a company phone he can always contact me on. I don’t have him blocked on that because I don’t know the number to block it.

So I’ll almost assuredly never contact him again for any reason. But if he ever contacts me again for any reason. I will respond with a lot of hostility and nasty language and it won’t go well for him.

But like I said, he isn’t bothering me right now. He’s not antagonizing me. He hasn’t at all tried to contact me through numbers I wouldn’t know to preemptively block. So I’m just gonna leave it alone. Like I have been for 6 months. But if he is contacting me, then he is bothering me and it’s open game.

But sometimes it’s tempting. Ultimately I’ll refrain.
 
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Bleedred

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what in the f*** happened to come to this?

also, feel no guilt for the betterment of ones' self
Just had a long conversation with my step brother and his wife about my dad and my relationship with him the last couple of days, which I severed 6 months ago, after he started his shit up with me after the umpteenth time over my lifetime and third time in the 9 years, where I had already spent a combined 4 years of not even in contact with.

He acts like an IRS agent and is creepily invasive. Wants to see pay stubs and proof that I work. If I told him I was on the internet at 2:00 PM reading something or that I got off work early to go hang out with some girl, he would accuse me of not working. This is stuff that was going on 20-30 years ago and as of the beginning of this year.

I was constantly given shit by him for living with my grandparents well into adulthood. He thinks he’s the ultimate American because he works a blue collar job and has no life, other than going to work and coming home and being a hermit. He’s very racist, very homophobic (I think he has homosexual tendencies and is insecurely in the closet. He tried to kiss me once when I was 17), I can’t have gay friends, I can’t have black or Hispanic friends. His world is ending because I have a gay Hispanic friend that’s practically at my house so often that the neighbors assuredly think I’m gay, which I couldn’t give two f***s.

He doesn’t like the girlfriends I have/had. They’re not good enough. He doesn’t like that I have complimented myself. The job I have either isn’t good enough or it just isn’t real at all. He’s very negative, very toxic. It’s unfair that he’s still alive. I will shed no tears when he isn’t.

Anyway, I can get into the very long list of faults of his, which includes having sex with minors and cashing his mother’s social security checks after she died (I’m not sure of the validity of that last one though, but so much for the real American working man if true?) and lots of other skeletons.

My step brother, nor his wife have ever met him. But we got to talking about our dads. His dad has his own faults, though a bit different from mine. Both are scumbags, though for different reasons. He still has a relationship with his dad. And I say that’s fine and his decision. I respect it. I don’t think his dad was as much of a negative to him as mine was to me.
 

My3Sons

Nobody told me there'd be days like these...
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Just had a long conversation with my step brother and his wife about my dad and my relationship with him the last couple of days, which I severed 6 months ago, after he started his shit up with me after the umpteenth time over my lifetime and third time in the 9 years, where I had already spent a combined 4 years of not even in contact with.

He acts like an IRS agent and is creepily invasive. Wants to see pay stubs and proof that I work. If I told him I was on the internet at 2:00 PM reading something or that I got off work early to go hang out with some girl, he would accuse me of not working. This is stuff that was going on 20-30 years ago and as of the beginning of this year.

I was constantly given shit by him for living with my grandparents well into adulthood. He thinks he’s the ultimate American because he works a blue collar job and has no life, other than going to work and coming home and being a hermit. He’s very racist, very homophobic (I think he has homosexual tendencies and is insecurely in the closet. He tried to kiss me once when I was 17), I can’t have gay friends, I can’t have black or Hispanic friends. His world is ending because I have a gay Hispanic friend that’s practically at my house so often that the neighbors assuredly think I’m gay, which I couldn’t give two f***s.

He doesn’t like the girlfriends I have/had. They’re not good enough. He doesn’t like that I have complimented myself. The job I have either isn’t good enough or it just isn’t real at all. He’s very negative, very toxic. It’s unfair that he’s still alive. I will shed no tears when he isn’t.

Anyway, I can get into the very long list of faults of his, which includes having sex with minors and cashing his mother’s social security checks after she died (I’m not sure of the validity of that last one though, but so much for the real American working man if true?) and lots of other skeletons.

My step brother, nor his wife have ever met him. But we got to talking about our dads. His dad has his own faults, though a bit different from mine. Both are scumbags, though for different reasons. He still has a relationship with his dad. And I say that’s fine and his decision. I respect it. I don’t think his dad was as much of a negative to him as mine was to me.
You deserve the love a child should get from a parent not whatever abuse your dad has decided to hand out. Period end of discussion. You do whatever you must to make your situation better. Just don’t do worse harm to yourself to rid yourself of his influence.
 

njdevils1982

Hell Toupée!!!
Sep 8, 2006
40,240
28,419
North of Toronto
Just had a long conversation with my step brother and his wife about my dad and my relationship with him the last couple of days, which I severed 6 months ago, after he started his shit up with me after the umpteenth time over my lifetime and third time in the 9 years, where I had already spent a combined 4 years of not even in contact with.

He acts like an IRS agent and is creepily invasive. Wants to see pay stubs and proof that I work. If I told him I was on the internet at 2:00 PM reading something or that I got off work early to go hang out with some girl, he would accuse me of not working. This is stuff that was going on 20-30 years ago and as of the beginning of this year.

I was constantly given shit by him for living with my grandparents well into adulthood. He thinks he’s the ultimate American because he works a blue collar job and has no life, other than going to work and coming home and being a hermit. He’s very racist, very homophobic (I think he has homosexual tendencies and is insecurely in the closet. He tried to kiss me once when I was 17), I can’t have gay friends, I can’t have black or Hispanic friends. His world is ending because I have a gay Hispanic friend that’s practically at my house so often that the neighbors assuredly think I’m gay, which I couldn’t give two f***s.

He doesn’t like the girlfriends I have/had. They’re not good enough. He doesn’t like that I have complimented myself. The job I have either isn’t good enough or it just isn’t real at all. He’s very negative, very toxic. It’s unfair that he’s still alive. I will shed no tears when he isn’t.

Anyway, I can get into the very long list of faults of his, which includes having sex with minors and cashing his mother’s social security checks after she died (I’m not sure of the validity of that last one though, but so much for the real American working man if true?) and lots of other skeletons.

My step brother, nor his wife have ever met him. But we got to talking about our dads. His dad has his own faults, though a bit different from mine. Both are scumbags, though for different reasons. He still has a relationship with his dad. And I say that’s fine and his decision. I respect it. I don’t think his dad was as much of a negative to him as mine was to me.

yikes
 
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njdevils1982

Hell Toupée!!!
Sep 8, 2006
40,240
28,419
North of Toronto
i made shrimp tacos tonight...

full on making the masa tortillia...the peeling of shrimp, the making of spice blend, the drinking of beer, shredding of cabbage, garden tomato chopped....

it was f***ing glorious.
 
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njdevils1982

Hell Toupée!!!
Sep 8, 2006
40,240
28,419
North of Toronto
happy f***ing midnight, enjoy the weekend. (ya ya , blah blah , thursday)_

if you dont take the weekend to enjoy there will be some jackass destroying it.

as what happens when life is funnelled into a "9 to 5" dolly parton tale much too real.


"long weekends" are hardly long. fight on fight of traffic......race to to the place!

this is escape of city! an illusion of the reality of actual free time alone somewhere.

and having to "beat the rush back" ...

what a life.

i am glad to never to fall for a sham like this again.

i know better now.

*this post was sponsered by booze and true clear minded sincerity*
 
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