f***ing amateur hour up here today
had a late breakfast and poured a triple then burned
only to realize im gonna run out of booze
and i aint driving no where now (f*** grammer)
looks like im gonna be rasta high all day instead.
this should be fun.![]()
Let me make it clear, I don't want to salvage the relationship. I kind of just want to verbally beat up on him a bunch and let him know it's over forever. Last time we did this I wound up talking to him again 3.5 years later.^ If this is who we've talked about previously, then I think shutting him out completely is a perfectly reasonable way to save yourself further pain. He isn't going to change, and it isn't going to get better.
Sure, we'd all like to have good relationships with our relatives, but if that's not in the cards, then estrangement isn't the worst thing. All you can do is take care of yourself and be good to the people who actually want to be positive presences in your life.
Let me make it clear, I don't want to salvage the relationship. I kind of just want to verbally beat up on him a bunch and let him know it's over forever. Last time we did this I wound up talking to him again 3.5 years later.
Actually, more recently than that, it happened another time, and that time I think I went 7 months without talking to him.
I have a slight bit of guilt for not telling him we are done, rather than ghosting him with no explanation. That's the only bit of guilt. But does he really need an explanation? I don't think he wants one.
And there's a big part of me that thinks I am being cowardly for not telling him how I really feel, and not telling him off before parting ways forever. But he's only gonna think I'm a coward anyway. Because I don't have the job he approves of, I don't like the kinds of women he approves of, I hang out with and have a gay best friend, Or that I cry over hockey (Devils) games because I ''Have it so easy in life and know nothing about it yet''.
There can't be much sense in sending a bunch of blast messages verbally assaulting him, especially after 6 months of no contact?
I haven’t told him off in quite the way I’m fantasizing about, but your point still taken.Telling him off would only make you feel better for a little bit, but it would eat at you over time. Especially if you've done it before and it didn't stick.
And responding to verbal abuse with more verbal abuse is not the way to go. Being the bigger man and letting insults go unanswered is not cowardly. Better to end the cycle, even if he probably deserves it.
You may recall that I have a similar situation in my life. Whenever I am tempted to lose my cool at some provocation, I remember: We are not locked into being the person our upbringing starts us as; we have agency to make positive changes in our own lives. I choose not to react in a destructive way, and I am happier for it.
Just had a long conversation with my step brother and his wife about my dad and my relationship with him the last couple of days, which I severed 6 months ago, after he started his shit up with me after the umpteenth time over my lifetime and third time in the 9 years, where I had already spent a combined 4 years of not even in contact with.what in the f*** happened to come to this?
also, feel no guilt for the betterment of ones' self
You deserve the love a child should get from a parent not whatever abuse your dad has decided to hand out. Period end of discussion. You do whatever you must to make your situation better. Just don’t do worse harm to yourself to rid yourself of his influence.Just had a long conversation with my step brother and his wife about my dad and my relationship with him the last couple of days, which I severed 6 months ago, after he started his shit up with me after the umpteenth time over my lifetime and third time in the 9 years, where I had already spent a combined 4 years of not even in contact with.
He acts like an IRS agent and is creepily invasive. Wants to see pay stubs and proof that I work. If I told him I was on the internet at 2:00 PM reading something or that I got off work early to go hang out with some girl, he would accuse me of not working. This is stuff that was going on 20-30 years ago and as of the beginning of this year.
I was constantly given shit by him for living with my grandparents well into adulthood. He thinks he’s the ultimate American because he works a blue collar job and has no life, other than going to work and coming home and being a hermit. He’s very racist, very homophobic (I think he has homosexual tendencies and is insecurely in the closet. He tried to kiss me once when I was 17), I can’t have gay friends, I can’t have black or Hispanic friends. His world is ending because I have a gay Hispanic friend that’s practically at my house so often that the neighbors assuredly think I’m gay, which I couldn’t give two f***s.
He doesn’t like the girlfriends I have/had. They’re not good enough. He doesn’t like that I have complimented myself. The job I have either isn’t good enough or it just isn’t real at all. He’s very negative, very toxic. It’s unfair that he’s still alive. I will shed no tears when he isn’t.
Anyway, I can get into the very long list of faults of his, which includes having sex with minors and cashing his mother’s social security checks after she died (I’m not sure of the validity of that last one though, but so much for the real American working man if true?) and lots of other skeletons.
My step brother, nor his wife have ever met him. But we got to talking about our dads. His dad has his own faults, though a bit different from mine. Both are scumbags, though for different reasons. He still has a relationship with his dad. And I say that’s fine and his decision. I respect it. I don’t think his dad was as much of a negative to him as mine was to me.
Just had a long conversation with my step brother and his wife about my dad and my relationship with him the last couple of days, which I severed 6 months ago, after he started his shit up with me after the umpteenth time over my lifetime and third time in the 9 years, where I had already spent a combined 4 years of not even in contact with.
He acts like an IRS agent and is creepily invasive. Wants to see pay stubs and proof that I work. If I told him I was on the internet at 2:00 PM reading something or that I got off work early to go hang out with some girl, he would accuse me of not working. This is stuff that was going on 20-30 years ago and as of the beginning of this year.
I was constantly given shit by him for living with my grandparents well into adulthood. He thinks he’s the ultimate American because he works a blue collar job and has no life, other than going to work and coming home and being a hermit. He’s very racist, very homophobic (I think he has homosexual tendencies and is insecurely in the closet. He tried to kiss me once when I was 17), I can’t have gay friends, I can’t have black or Hispanic friends. His world is ending because I have a gay Hispanic friend that’s practically at my house so often that the neighbors assuredly think I’m gay, which I couldn’t give two f***s.
He doesn’t like the girlfriends I have/had. They’re not good enough. He doesn’t like that I have complimented myself. The job I have either isn’t good enough or it just isn’t real at all. He’s very negative, very toxic. It’s unfair that he’s still alive. I will shed no tears when he isn’t.
Anyway, I can get into the very long list of faults of his, which includes having sex with minors and cashing his mother’s social security checks after she died (I’m not sure of the validity of that last one though, but so much for the real American working man if true?) and lots of other skeletons.
My step brother, nor his wife have ever met him. But we got to talking about our dads. His dad has his own faults, though a bit different from mine. Both are scumbags, though for different reasons. He still has a relationship with his dad. And I say that’s fine and his decision. I respect it. I don’t think his dad was as much of a negative to him as mine was to me.