I Just called my MIL? IDK, My brother is a f***ing idiot not marrying his partner. It is a tragedy. She's one of the few good ones. Such a good kid.
Yeah, I've heard that too many times for my liking "suck it up". I'm not of that type, though. When I see injustice, I call it out because it very could be me. I know we as men are conditioned to be a certain way, but I don't think that should make the "way" be so inacessible and such an island. I wish for #1, we checked in on each other more. And that we would be more honest as well.
I hate having gone through the past 6 months responding "Haha, yeah, good" instead of "I'm scared no one knows how I feel". That's difficult to do, even more so happening to be born with a penis, which is all we really are. I'm not saying it is right or wrong, but I remember my eighth grade teacher saying the only person you can make fun of is a "straight white male, who has all capability." I think she was partially right, in that, that was socially acceptable. But, I'm a straight white male with all capability and no prospects. I AM Suffering. That doesn't seem like justice to me. I want justice for all. Brown, white, black, yellow, blue. All I've ever wanted is to live in a society that accepts us to our capabilities and not our history.
Y'know. All I've ever wanted to know is "Who are you?" and why are you that way? And can I make you feel better?
Truth is no one cares what about men's feelings.
and if you do open up to others, people often just make fun of ya.
"Suck it up princess, etc,"
It's no wonder men are 6 times more likely to kill themselves compared to women.
Usually I dont bother opening up even with my family, Im too used to being their "Shield" if you will. Society expects us men to be there for others (and honestly, I think we dont mind at all, we even get a sense of fulfillment from it) but very rarely we have times when we're feeling down as well yet we dont have a lot of people to talk to.
You know, I think this is really changing.
I'm a counsellor with a lot of male clients and I'm seeing the shift in awareness and consideration for men as being more than unfeeling automatons.
But some people's eco-systems and their own beliefs can shield them from this shift. I certainly still have clients who believe their only utility is that which they can provide materially.
But truthfully, there are a lot of relationships (using heterosexual example here, but can take any form) where there's a great distance because the female partner feels shut out, while the male partner feels like it's his responsibility to shut her out.
Most people want to be let in and allowed to be caring and supportive. Now, granted that if this runs against the grain of a 20 year relationship's dynamic, some conversations may need to happen to frontload this shift.
But at the end of the day, we are all still basically the children we were growing up. We mature and evolve, but we still have the same needs that were so apparent to us then. To belong, to matter, to be seen, to be treasured, etc.
Acknowledging that and moving towards that is actually strength.
I have had clients talk about how touchy feely people are now and how men didn't need to talk about their feelings back in the day. To which my response is, look how many of them were alcoholics, addicted to drugs, remote from their family, etc.
We all have trauma (many of us with a small t, some of us have capital T trauma), and we all need support.
hope that finds you well buddy. We all butt heads but we are just human trying to get the most out of this life.
