Yeah, that's definitely a trap that's easy to fall into...
Some upgrades pay for themselves, and some you'll never recover value from. Energy saving upgrades can often pay for themselves, so you just have to look at the extra cost within the context of paying up front for future savings.
Yeah...
Like I think basically the breakdown so far is roughly...
Kitchen:
4k in appliances (new dishwasher, new slide in stove, new island range hood)
1k in electrician work
1k in design
Bathrooms:
Might creep up to 1k when you figure in matching all the hardware.
Flooring:
500 in upgrades
Random other trades work:
~2k which includes updating the baseboard heaters and getting a centralized thermostat for them (so maybe they'll actually shut off!!!), switching panel from fuses to breakers, and getting a few receptacles/circuits to code.
Though in the future I'll still have some work to do, including probably a new fridge and re-staining my bannister to match the kitchens. And probably some bathroom work on the tub/shower.
I figure I'll get my money back in the kitchen, and the trades work will make things easier to sell/improve quality of life while I'm here. The bathrooms I might probably be spending more than I'll get back but at least I'll like the look when I'm done.